Rant- Moving Back Home

Why not move in with your FH?

OP, stay where you are and try to negotiate the rent increase. I lived on my own until we were engaged (and short engagement), and this time you have to be on your own is truly special. You will never have this time where you can go to Taco Bell at 2am and not have to answer to anyone. Being on my own taught me so much about myself that it's making me a better partner.

Yes you could save money by moving back home (and that too can be a special experience- my youngest sibling and his wife did that) and his relationship with my parents is so deep.

Either way, will be a meaningful experience. Enjoy this time and learn from it to become the best partner you can be

*UO* You are going to live with FH for the rest of your life. You may as well spend the last few months of your quiet little haven before you begin your new family life, especially if you are confident you can afford to continue your current lifestyle while still funding your wedding.

I would never move back in with my parents unless I had absolutely no other option. I think this is a somewhat cultural thing, but I would never imagine doing this. I would make the wedding smaller first.

FH and I have been together a while. We met in college and practically lived together. We lived separate for a few years due to jobs in different cities and bad timing but we thought finally moving in together would be a breeze. Haha nope. It was a complete adjustment and really challenged our ability to communicate. I still love him and want to marry him but I would be lying if I said it wasn't easy. I honestly believe waiting till marriage to live with someone will just make it harder on the relationship. I want to spend our days as newlyweds having a lot of sex and not bickering over who has to take out the garbage or why his clothes are in the wrong laundry basket.

I moved in with my parents before we were engaged. To be completely honest I was pretty miserable that whole time. I was late 20s and I felt like I regressed in my adulthood. I was so anxious to get the hell out

I would move in with FH , living with you SO is a big adjustment. I think moving in and working out the kinks sooner rather than later is better. Or move home no use in wasting money breaking a lease so that you can move in with your FH later ....

I still live with my parents and will until my FH and I get our own house possibly in the wintertime. My older brother lived in an apartment for a few years and eventually had to move in with my other brother because he couldn't afford it. I'm very fortunate that I work close enough to where my parents live so that I can still live home and save.

Omg @nikki I am SO sorry you had to deal with that.

@shannon your response was so sweet. how would you suggest I negotiate the price increase for the renewal? you might be on to something

I agree that it is incredibly, vitally important to live with your future spouse before marriage. You cannot truly know someone and be true partners until you share a life like that.

I was kinda in the same boat and didn't want to move in with my FH until after the wedding. The driving back and forth was the deal breaker. I have saved so much in gas/rent and yes it's been hard adjusting to new routines but I'm so happy!! But ultimately it's up to you. If the money isn't a real issue then ignore everyone else.

I moved in with FH 6 months after getting engaged at 20. His parents threw a fit, bribed him, threatened him and ultimately no longer funded his life. He was 21 going to an Ivy League, so working was more of a summer and breaks sort of thing. I worked 3 jobs. There was tension because we had NO MONEY. But then (3 years later) I looked at our apartment and our life and our cats and I was so thrilled thinking "we did this". I 100% suggest moving in with your FH because you need time to adjust to life, this way after your marriage, you can have a "we did this" moment

Honestly move in with your FH! Get used to living under one roof with each other. Saves you money and you get to know each other on a deeper level.

We waited until a few weeks before the wedding to live together, and we are both happy we did and wouldn't change that at all. Honestly, that part is up to you. Every action has a pro and a con. I say make a chart and pray about it.

I think living together should be a requirement for marriage. I've honestly never seen a happy relationship where they lived apart before marriage, but maybe that's just how my life is. Someone always ends up resenting the other because if little habits that you couldn't have known before moving in, or someone is just uncomfortable for so long and they can't work past their problems

(Didn't read all the responses) But I agree with moving in with your FH. My DH and I moved in together about 7+ years ago, and that was one of the best decisions I made. It was "rocky" for the first 2 years- all little things: how you clean, i was working on my dissertation and i like to do my work on the kitchen table and drove him insane, he's a night owl and i'm a morning person, etc...so we fought a lot, and had to compromise a lot! Personally, We needed to have that adjusting time, time to get to know each other at a deeper level and figure out how to work with each other; and because of that our marriage is stronger.

Alright Dana I'm just going to give it to you straight --

It's 2017. Move in with your FH.

Moving in with my FH was the best thing I ever chose to do. I love him, I love being around him, and the wedding will not be any less exciting just because you live together. If you feel like people will judge you for moving in first, I've not had that experience (quite the opposite actually; we get judged a lot, but this is the one thing everyone was proud of us for), but fuck those people. They don't get to decide how you run your life.

If you love your FH (which I'm sure you do), living with him will be awesome. Don't ruin your wedding week by trying to move all of your stuff into his house (that's definitely NOT glamorous), and then learning that he snores or has to get up to pee every 30 minutes during the night or leaves his dishes in the sink. You also gotta learn to set boundaries; would you prefer him to be home with you every night? Will you eat breakfast or dinner together? These are big things that you need to hash out early, and it'll probably lead to some fights. If anything, moving in together right after marriage will RUIN the wedding bliss, because you'll be bickering over different living styles.

Also, it will be EVEN WORSE to move in with him if you live with your parents again first. The reason it's so hard to move in with someone else is that you both come from households that are run in completely different ways. Moving back in with your parents will mean that you'll get used to THEIR household again, making it all the more difficult to adapt to FH's household style. You both will need to do some compromising, but don't make it harder than it needs to be.

You can do what you want, obviously, but the best advice I can give you is to move in with your FH. Save the money from rent, take a vacation with it, and tell your parents you'll come over for dinner sometime. For your own good.

Move in with your FH. You're an adult. Own it.

I love my parents to death, but I never want to have to live with them again, and I'm pretty sure they feel the same way lol. Me and FH have been living together for 2 years and I highly recommend it. You don't truly know someone until you've lived with them and seen EVERYTHING; the good, the bad, the gross, the ugly, and all the mundane day to day activities of life that you may not see when you go back to your separate houses at the end of the day.

But it is your life and no one can tell you how to feel or what to do.