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Dana
Expert August 2018

Rant- Moving Back Home

Dana, on September 5, 2017 at 9:25 PM Posted in Planning 0 65
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Since I've been engaged everyone keeps suggesting that I move back to my parents house to save up money for the wedding. I have no desire to and its starting to get under my skin. There is nothing wrong with moving back in with them and they have already said they'd welcome me with open arms I just like living on my own in my apartment. I LOVE my apartment, its my little quiet haven. FH already lives in a house I'd be moving into after the wedding. Deep down inside I know it would help with paying for the wedding bc my rent is high(going up next renewal) but I still don't want to and I feel like I'd be annoyed the whole time. I'm really blessed to have somewhere that I can move back to. My parents are older and very old school and I wouldn't have the freedom I have now. They mean well but yeah lol. Everyone keeps saying its just a few months but still. Anywho, I just felt like venting. My lease ends in Oct. Anyone else moved back home until their wedding? Pros? Cons?

65 Comments

Latest activity by SuYa, on September 6, 2017 at 3:49 PM
  • FutureMrsR
    VIP May 2018
    FutureMrsR ·
    • Flag

    Why not just move in with FH?

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Master March 2015
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    No, but I was 40 when I got married and had owned a home for 15 years. That being said, you might be surprised at how much freedom they give you. What about moving into the house with FH?

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @futuremrsr I could but I'm a little prude lol. I kind of want the get married then move in bliss. If I move home I'd just move my stuff in his house but I wouldn't want to live there until after the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @susan yeah they may not be as bad now that I'm older. I was 23/24 when I was living at home after college. I'll be 27

    • Reply
  • K.M.
    Master September 2018
    K.M. ·
    • Flag

    I would really consider moving in with FH. It would save you money and honestly moving in with FH was such a transition and I'm glad we don't have to deal with it after the wedding.

    • Reply
  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·
    • Flag

    Unless you're struggling financially, what's the point? They can stfu and butt out of your business.

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    LOL @lillybean17 I don't get it. I have a good job in sales and I feel like if I need to make more I can with my commissions and if we're spliting stuff costs for vendors I don't see the point but people make it look like I'm crazy not to move home to "save" so now I'm sitting here questioning myself

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @K.M. I'm lowkey scared of that transition in addition to planning a wedding. I've heard such horror stories

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Devoted November 2017
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    The bliss will end and then you'll have to work through the little habits that each other has. Honestly I say just move and enjoy the bliss of planning. If it bugs you that much sleep in different rooms but you would save money and be able to get into a morning routine with work? Just a thought

    • Reply
  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
    • Flag

    Every choice has a consequence. You aren't independently wealthy, so thatq limits your choices.

    You can move home. You don't want to move home -- and it isn't for a few months. It's for a year. Wait, you'd feel like you'd be annoyed all the time living with FH for less than a year before your marriage? Why? You do realize that's going to be home, right? Maybe you should ponder that for a while.

    Freedom? You're engaged and worried about your lack of freedom if you move back home? Then home is in the rear view mirror.

    Move in with FH. If you don't want to do that, then we can't come up with anything. Your options are renew and pay for a lease that will extend your tenancy by a few months, move home and be treated like a teenager but enjoy your wedded bliss in August, or move in with FH when your lease is up. It's really that simple.

    • Reply
  • FutureSwafford
    Dedicated October 2018
    FutureSwafford ·
    • Flag

    I do not blame you. Their house their rules...I hate living with mine which I have to at the moment. Never thought I would be almost 30 living with my parents

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @rachel d yes it is that simple but I just wanted to see if anyone else decided to move back home and what their experiences were.

    I never said I'd be annoyed with the FH but I'd be annoyed moving home. about the "freedom" Like if I wanted to get up at 2 am and go to taco bell now I can, no questions just get up and go- if I got up to go at my parents house its different bc its not just my space anymore and I'd have to be considerate

    I could also do a month to month lease at my apt until I figure out my little life so that is comforting to know

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @sara thanks Smiley smile do you two live together now?

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    @FutureSwafford exactly! & I'm sorry! Atleast it will be over for you in a year. Do you feel like by staying there its truly helping you save for the wedding?

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Super June 2018
    Hannah ·
    • Flag

    I'm probably in the UO but I think it's crucial to test run living together. No offense to anyone.

    • Reply
  • MrsGtoBe
    Dedicated May 2018
    MrsGtoBe ·
    • Flag

    FH and I are living separately until after the wedding because of our religious beliefs. Yes, we could save a chunk of cash every month if we weren't paying for 2 separate apartments but we are still putting away money monthly and just being smart with our finances.

    I feel the same as you about moving back home with my parents. It was an option for me too when FH and I got engaged but I love my freedom and having my own space. I've lived alone for the past 2 years so that's what I'm used to.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Bliss. That's adorable. Living with another person, no matter how much you love them, is rarely "bliss", and it might be good to get used to "great company, having a person I love around all the tiem even if they (pick one) leave laundry everywhere/eat all the ice cream/throw their dirty dishes in the sink/snore like the gates of hell...

    Don't move in with your parents. Either stay where you are or move in with your fiance.

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Expert August 2018
    Dana ·
    • Flag

    These are really interesting perspectives. we've been together for awhile now (6 years this year) and I just couldn't imagine him being a different person after marriage once I move in. When I'm over there he gets on my nerves now about cleaning up so I don't think that would be a shocker. So I don't know what else he could do that would push me over the edge. Then again, you never really know what people do behind closed doors which is the part that makes me nervous.

    • Reply
  • JJAF
    Super October 2019
    JJAF ·
    • Flag

    I completely understand. I'm currently living with my parents and tbh, I miss living independently or with FH! I would tell the people who are suggesting this to you "thank you for the advice, i will take it for consideration"

    • Reply
  • Mrs_J
    Super September 2018
    Mrs_J ·
    • Flag

    Definitely agree with not moving in with the parentals lol. Once you move out from home, it's dam near impossible to comfortably live with your parents ago.

    I'm absolutely team live in with FH. FH and I have lived together 6 years and his ass still annoys me with certain habits. However we've made it through those early woes of living together. So if you choose to wait, just be prepared for the adjustment.

    I'm sure whatever you choose will work out in the end. Good luck OP!

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