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Colleen
Master September 2019

Question wp

Colleen, on August 7, 2019 at 10:38 PM

Posted in Community Conversations 61

After seeing some post. I have a question. Would people really kick someone out of the wedding party cause they can’t afford the dress you require? Or if they can’t afford hair and makeup? I guess we picked people we wanted to stand with us no matter what. And yes our grooms women’s dress is only 30...
After seeing some post. I have a question. Would people really kick someone out of the wedding party cause they can’t afford the dress you require? Or if they can’t afford hair and makeup? I guess we picked people we wanted to stand with us no matter what. And yes our grooms women’s dress is only 30 bucks. We also offered to help her hefts he bought that one. So yes I am speaking from the truth.

61 Comments

  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    To me, that's absurd. The bridesmaids should be consulted about budget BEFORE the dress is picked and HAMU should never be required. We paid for the girls HAMU (it was still optional if they wanted to do their own). We paid for the guys socks, ties, and pocket squares. We were fully ready to help with dresses & suits if needed too.

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  • Kellie Martinez
    Super October 2019
    Kellie Martinez ·
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    I would never kick someone out of the wedding for that. I'm paying for my best friend's dress and my dad is buying my sisters. I aid for hair and makeup for all becuase I am the one who wanted it done the way I chose. We all worked together to figure it out because someone's financial situation doesn't determine their place in my life or my wedding. Smiley smile

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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    I would never kick anyone out of a wedding party - I find it odd. Did you hire them? Then you can't fire them!

    My wedding dress was $60 of Amazon!!

    Bridesmaid drama is why I had my two college age sons be my Best Men, lol!!! (I paid for their suits, btw.)

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  • Future Mrs. Danger
    Expert November 2019
    Future Mrs. Danger ·
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    I painted a clear picture of what the "job" entails, before they committed. All of my BM accepted the added cost that came with it. If their situation were to change now, I would pick up the tab.

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    My best friend plans to pay for our hair and makeup as her gift to her bridesmaids. For my wedding, I had 9 women and 1 man as my brides-people, and the women had to pay for themselves, except for one, who couldn't afford to pay for herself and her parents were giving her a hard time about how much money they were willing to give her. My family stepped in to help her out.

    Don't kick out your bridesmaid if she can't afford something. That's not fair and it's not her fault. Instead, find a way to help her.
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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    Also, if you are not paying for everyone's hair and makeup, then it should be optional for them to get theirs done. My best friend did her own makeup, but got her hair professionally done on my wedding day. Another bridesmaid chose to do her own hair and makeup. Because of that, she was able to arrive at a later time than everyone else.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I don't understand it either, Colleen. Being a bridesmaid is not a job. You can't just "fire" your friend. You're totally right - being a BM or MOH is a way to honor your closest friends, not about what you can get out of them

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I love your dress! It looks beautiful on you

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  • Sara
    Expert October 2019
    Sara ·
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    I would never kick someone out because they couldn’t afford a dress! I made sure to pick dresses that I loved that they could pick from and they were different prices. I am also paying for hair and make up. I want them there because they mean a lot to me.
    The only time I kicked someone out was because she completely cut me out of her life. I asked her to be my moh and she was so excited and wanted to do everything with me and then a month later she stop talking to me. I don’t know why but I waited a year before asking anyone else. I asked her right after getting engaged and we were 2 years out from being married. I felt really bad because she means so much to me and I don’t know what happened.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Thanks doing secound dress fitting Saturday
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  • D
    Super September 2019
    Dana ·
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    I dont think someone who cant afford something should be kicked out. However, she agreed to be in the wedding and should have been aware of the expenses
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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    No, I think that's crazy honestly. And I also get tired of hearing brides whine about the BM's and MOH's not doing enough for them.

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  • T
    Dedicated September 2019
    Teresa ·
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    I gave my Bridesmaids the color swatch and said find something that matches this LOL!

    I think it's a way too harsh to kick someone out of your party because they couldn't afford the dress that you wanted. It shouldn't be about the dress but more about the ones you want standing next to you on the big day.

    If someone in the Wedding Party can't afford something and there's absolutely no other dress or tux that you will allow that's in their price range (which I find unbelievable to be honest) then it's your responsibility, as the person that asked them in the first place, to pay for their attire.

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  • Sara
    Expert February 2020
    Sara ·
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    Yes. I was told I was no longer in a wedding party because I was "just a nanny" and she didn't want to impose such a big expense on me. I wasnt even given a price she just decided it was too much. Although I think that was the excuse she decided to go with. We're not as close as we were when I started planning the wedding would have been less insulting.

    I don't care about the look of things as much. The party is wearing black dresses and black shoes..whatever they have..and I'm getting them jewelry and faux fur wraps to wear. They all have money and wouldn't care if I wanted them to buy special dresses..but that's just one thing I'm not into doing.
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  • S
    Super August 2019
    Saydee ·
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    I didn't kick them out but told them if they couldn't afford it, it I understood. I already have enough I was paying for and I gave them a year's notice as well as tried to find the most affordable options. The only thing I bought was their jewelry.

    People pay for what they want to pay for.

    The same bridesmaid and groomsman that dropped out were seeing spending money afterwords on wants so it just tells me where their priorities lie. 🤷🏽‍♀️
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  • S
    Super August 2019
    Saydee ·
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    I ASKED everyone to get their makeup and hair done and they are happy to get it done, but they get to choose how much their are wanting to spend on the hair. The mua was chosen by me, and only one person was upset about it because they are picky and have been a bit difficult. I think it's a matter of who your crowd is because most of my girls would automatically wear makeup for events anyway and want to have it done for the wedding. My friends would never expect me to pay for their stuff since I'm already paying for the wedding
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    But they don’t have to have make up done. Neither of the grooms women are getting make up done. They are doing it themself.
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  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
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    Do you expect them not to spend money on themself to save it to be on your wedding?
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I asked the three most important women in my life to stand with me on my day. But I am always conscious of budget issues, so I did sit down with each one of them to talk about budget before we started looking at dresses. They all assured me that they wanted to stand with me, regardless of what dresses I chose for them. They knew they had more than a year to save up. But I still looked for really affordable dresses. We are going with Azazie, and their dresses will be about $89 each, before any alterations.

    I am going to offer to pay for their hair and makeup, as that costs as much as their dresses, and I want to gift that to them, so they can feel beautiful on the day too.

    I would never remove anyone from my bridal party just because she couldn't afford some of the costs.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Absolutely not. If there had been a financial issue, we would have picked up the tab. We tried really hard to make it affordable for our wedding party. Neither of us had a big/traditional bachelor/bachelorette party (I had a brunch with friends and H played a round of golf at a course that most of the guys already belonged to, went out to dinner, and went bowling), I didn't have a shower, we paid for the guy's socks/ties/shirt and they bought their suit jacket/pants (one already had it from his wedding and another was wearing that same suit for his wedding), bridesmaids/groomsmen could wear whatever shoe they wanted (girls = nude, guys = cognac dress shoes), girls could wear whatever jewelry they wanted, HMU was optional and I paid for part of it for those who opted to have it done, girls could pick whatever style they liked that was long/chiffon/the right color from Azazie (they chose dresses that ranged from $99 - $140).

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