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Super September 2012

Question for those who vowed to stay celibate until marriage...

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ShaTerra, on May 11, 2011 at 10:44 AM

My FH and I talked about doing this b/c we are Christian and actually want to take that step (our choice) but of course thats a DRASTIC step lol. We dont know about if it'll be a YEAR but we decided to do it for 6 months leading up to our big day (so in January we plan to start). Our pastor stated that the only way to remain celibate and be serious about it is to not live together to avoid that temptation. Thing is, we've been living together basically since we started our relationship 3 1/2 yrs ago (friends for 3 yrs before that) and we have 2 little sons so thats not an easy task. He feels since our lease is up and we're doing month to month, that he should move in with his friend to save money and I should move with his parents. Now while I love my FILs, I am not thrilled. Who wants to go back to feeling supervised after living alone since 19? Long story short, how do you stay celibate before marriage? Our 1st counseling sessions isnt til next wk so its killing us to know. LOL!

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26 Comments

Super November 2002
Beth G · on May 11, 2011 at 2:07 PM
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I do agree with not breaking up the family if you both can stay strong.

1) Do you both love the Lord?

2) What is more important to you....
Living in obedience and pleasing God or succumbing to worldly desires of the flesh
and allowing the enemy to have control over your spirit?

please do not answer me.....I just wanted you to think and pray about this....as you know, this life is no joke there is a SERIOUS spiritual war going on.....which side do you choose.
I love you as my God commands and I hope you come to the best decision for you!
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VIP October 2011
Heather · on May 11, 2011 at 2:12 PM
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ShaTerra why don't you guys just go do a quick court house thing first and keep your wedding plans as they are? It makes a lot more sense than trying to tiptoe around one another in the house so as not to be tempted. You guys have built a home with one another and tearing that apart doesn't do anyone any good.

Just my .02
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Dedicated June 2011
Danielle · on May 11, 2011 at 2:22 PM
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Shaterra, This sounds a lot like my FS and I. We live together (do not have any children), but I moved 2000 miles to another state with him, so us living a part would be quite lonely. When we began premarital counseling we vowed together to be celibate. It was a vow that we both take seriously and since we have this common goal between us, we do not tempt each other.

With that said, it has been HARD! But, we both sit and discuss how intimate and emotional that (wedding) night will be. 1. because we won't feel guilty or like we're sinning. 2. Because we endured such a hard thing together. Not to torture each other, but to really dig deep into our relationship to uncover issues that intimacy can sometimes cover up! It's been amazing. I do not fault or judge those that do not do it. But, it has worked wonders for working on communication and also ways of showing intimacy (besides physical).

We still lived together, slept in the same bed, kissed each other, cuddled cont..
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Dedicated June 2011
Danielle · on May 11, 2011 at 2:23 PM
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But, we both had bounderies. I went to bed in modest things, I tried not to come out completely naked after a shower because as we know FLESH IS WEAK!! We respected each other and it has paid off!

GOOD LUCK! You CAN DO THIS!~
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Dedicated June 2011
Danielle · on May 11, 2011 at 2:24 PM
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Well Said Beth!
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Super November 2002
Beth G · on May 11, 2011 at 2:26 PM
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Thanks @Danielle...I was hoping not to scare anyone, LOL but I have to keep it real!
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