Question for brides marrying someone of another religion

They're being a little over the top. My mother and her family are Jehovahs Witnesses and they're all coming to my wedding at my church of england church.

They're not forbidden to enter another faiths place of worship at all.

If they're not willing to go to your ceremony, you have no obligation to invite them to the reception.

After all, if they won't recognise your ceremony, why would they want to celebrate with you afterwards anyway??

I'm pagen and he is Christian. No church but we are having a Christian officiant who won't be overly dramatic. It's a comprimise. While women might dream of the wedding of they're dreams and men don't, if they care about you and being with you they usually do start caring about the wedding... It's all about comprimise not just for the wedding but in the marriage period. While his family might be going over the top it's still his family and you don't want him looking back with regrets and worse case senario blaming you... Either not have it in a church or only invite them to the reception but be prepared if their are drinks there, they will most likely turn around and leave but then you've at least made the extending hand gesture and can't be held accountable.

One possible compromise: my FH and I are having a ceremony with two officiants. One Catholic, who will actually perform the marriage (it's going to be in the Catholic church), and one Lutheran, who will perform a blessing and give the homily. This kind of arrangement might appease your FH's family. Offer it as an olive branch and if they say no, you've done all you can. My advice: don't give up your church wedding for anyone. If your faith is important to you and you want to begin your marriage in that light, you aren't being selfish. You are nurturing your relationship with God and with your husband. Be aware, though, that a Catholic wedding involves a lot of hoops. Pre-Cana with the priest, a conference for engaged couples, natural family planning classes, paperwork, etc... If you are drifting away from the church, you should think about how much it means to you and how much you're willing to do.

If he's fine with you two getting married in a church, and you really want that, then do it. It's unfortunate his family feels that way. But where to get married is one of the biggest aspects of a wedding. We really wanted to get married on the beach. Unfortunately his family is reckless with their spending and they couldn't afford to come. So be it. We had a blast anyways. The location was what was most important to us. Stick to your guns.

Thanks everyone! I'm so glad to know I'm not crazy for the feelings I have.

Marianne, I well know the feeling. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and each member has the right to follow his or her heart where matters of family are concerned. My mother will not attend anything that is held in a church for any reason. When her sister died she wanted the funeral held at the funeral home so she could attend. When my cousin said no his mother wanted her service at the Catholic church she attended, my mom refused to go. She instead stayed at the house and greeted guests when the came for the repass. She refused to come to my home for a family get together where I had invited all of my family for family portraits because I no longer attend JW functions. She will not be attending my ceremony or reception although it is not being held in a church. I've come to accept that this is who she is and I continue to live my life. Yes, it hurts but life goes on. If he's okay with it, then do what you plan to do.

Marianne !! OMG i thought i was the only one ! My FH family is JW and he is not... he has been going to church with me since we started dating. Most of his family will not come to the wedding ...maybe 15 people max will actually show up. Here is the kicker we arent having it at church and they still wont come because it is a "religious ceremony"

As you can imagine im a bit disappointed that his family wont be there to support him!! At least his mom and dad will show up

I've come to learn that all Kingdom Halls are different. The elders within those different Kingdon Halls either have their church live by strict black and white rules, or gray area rules.

No ur not being selfish by getting married in ur church. If they don't want to go its their loss. Whoever, I personally would still invite them to the reception. I'm families , family. Whether u get along or not.

You only get one Wedding and you need to do what Makes you guys happy!! T&J you are right my FH parents hall have very gray rules....but his fathers side live strictly by the black and white rules...

My FH cousin got married earlier this year But there was nothing Religious about it ..They had a justice of peace ..the ceromony lasted about 10 mins...all of his family showed up!! But i dont think we can compromise what we believe in!

There is also the added "disfellowship" factor. Now forgive me if i'm saying it wrong because I don't know much about the religion, but FH's father was disfellowshipped and I guess anyone still practicing the religion can't associate with people who were disfellowshipped. So it brings in the added stress / confusion of who can be at the reception at what times so they won't associate with his father. I hate this!!! I have to talk to FH and we can make a final decision but my gut feeling is that we won't invite them to the reception if they won't attend the ceremony. Even his mother won't be there. Sad for him but he says he really doesn't care.

If the two of you are fine with it I say do it. I was raised Catholic but go to an Assembly of God church now. My family was extremely upset and thought I was turning my backs on them. I didn't know how they would feel about me getting married at my church so I decided to do the ceremony at the reception venue. When the minister fell out for that idea my mom suggested getting married at my church and made it clear that it will be the only time she will set foot in my church. So sometimes families come around for the sake of their loved ones.

Marianne !! yea they disfelloshiped my FH uncle ..who we talk to ..!!!

You ultimately will need to do what you feel is right. My husband's first wife was JW. He is not. When they married, his then FMIL was insistant they marry within the JW church - he would not. They decided to do a JP ceremony with a reception following. FMIL told my husband's first wife: "That's good, because if you guys divorce, you can still marry in the church." Turned out they did divorce, but more for reasons that his first wife couldn't sever ties with her mama.

My only concern with people of differing religious backgrounds marrying is when it comes to kids. I know some people can work this out fine, but other couples can almost come to blows about this. Funny, it doesn't complicate things at the time of marriage - most people are so in love it doesn't seem to matter. However, when offspring come along, sometimes it becomes a very touchy subject. Just be certain you are clear on this!

Stick to your guns- it's your wedding! I think it's very sad that his mother will not come to the ceremony if it's in a Catholic church- not like she'll catch on fire the moment she steps in the door, or be corrupted by the Evil Catholics' ideology, her sould tainted forever by her mere presence in another CHRISTIAN faith's church(rolling eyes).

FH & I are both Catholic, want a Catholic ceremony & priest but to be married outside in a garden. Which the Catholic church doesn't allow. We found our solution on www.rentapriest.com, with a married Catholic priest (once a priest, always a priest in my mind). The marriage is still legal, but not according to cannon law so the Catholic church would view it as if we got married by a Protestant minister. Priests on this site also readily marry divorced and/or interfaith couples. Something you might look into. Good luck!

The wedding needs to be where the two of you decide.... So if together you decide on a church they will have to deal with it. I think the two of you really need to reach an agreement without the influence of outside people. Hopefully they show up, but it's really on them if they don't.

OMG Marianne, I am totally going through the same situation with my fam in regards to someone who is disfellowshiped. I was so going to post this topic the other day, but figured I was alone. I seriously have been crying about this topic for weeks. It's causeing alot of fights within my family.

My cousins can't come to the wedding if my other cousin brings his girlfriend because she was disfellowshiped. I just hope everything works out in the long run. I wouldn't want anyone to miss my wedding because of someone else who is attending. I love all of my family and want them ALL to be there. But this is one issue that i can't solve for them. BIG HUGS! Marianne!

T&J, Marianne im glad im not the only one going thri this !!! this makes me feel a whole lot better!!!

BIG HUGS to you to Abryanna!!

SO glad someone else is going through this .... Wait that came out wrong. I don't wish this on anyone, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. I think we need a JW support forum. LOL