Wedding planning has been stressful. Between budgeting, trying to achieve the aesthetic you want, and fielding "advice" from family, the last thing you need is to listen to some stranger's thoughts on "what's appropriate". If you want to self cater, SELF CATER. You save money. Your family loves you, if you want a potluck, do a POTLUCK. A wedding is no different from any other time that you cook food for other people. Sure, it's a larger number but if people are concerned about a friend cooking the food for their wedding, then they should probably be concerned about eating at their friend's house in general. You want to make a spotify playlist and skip the DJ? DO IT. Want to have a casual park shindig with minimal decor and just spend time with family? DO IT. Weddings have become less and less about the couple and more about appearance. There have been plenty times that I've come to a wedding forum to see people being absolutely pummeled because the idea was "tacky" or "non-traditional." You don't have to prove anything to anyone. It is your day. Treat it as such. The people that are there will hopefully be there because they love you and not because you're serving a five course meal at a manor. Rant over. Enjoy your weddings my happy DIY brides!