Program Acknowledgement Trouble *Sigh*

I get that you don't WANT to acknowledge his parents and give your mom credit, but you do realize the problems that could arise from this, right? I understand your frustration and all, but to do that on a program that all your family and friends (and *his* family and friends) will have a chance to read is not the place to do it.

Perhaps get your mom a super nice gift to show her your appreciation instead.

What I did in my program was list each person who helped and thanked them for each specific item they helped with. It was half a page of my program. It was things like "Thank you Dinah B. for making the centerpieces, favors, and bubbles. Thank you Anna B. for making the bouquets, corsages, and boutennieres. Thank you Kathy G. for making the card box..." I listed peoples real names, not "Mom" or "Aunt Anna" because I thought that might not be clear which mom, etc. However, family was also listed by name in the program, so they could put 2 and 2 together.

I agree with Reenski - though I can be a bit stubborn and still would refuse to acknowledge those who don't deserve it. I would just completely exclude the Thank You from the program. Then during the dinner speeches I would say "thank you to our parents for their support and love. I'd like to extend a special thank you to my mother, So and SO, for the incredible amount of effort and time she dedicated to this day." It may irritate his mom that she doesn't get extra kudos, but oh well, give credit where credit is due.

Man, if that were me, I would just acknowledge your mother and be done with it. I don't agree with thanking someone who doesn't deserve it. It downplays your mother's contribution.

But that's just me

I agree with ALL of the above comments.... that's why I am having such a hard time with this. :-(

Sorry to hear the lack of support from your FILs.

I am not including a thank you for planning in our programs, rather we are getting appropriate gifts and thanking those individuals personally and privately (possibly taking them out to eat and then giving them the gifts and our thanks)

I know in my situation, someone would notice the missing names and the tongues would wag and it would all end up my fault.

In our program we have a general thank you ("We sincerely thank all of you for being with us today. Each of you in your own way have shown us how to laugh, love and appreciate all that life has to offer. Your support and friendship are deeply appreciated")

I agree with you, there will be no mention of FH mother (his father is past). The mother is not invited. (death threats from her and her husband). So we have to have security just to keep everyone safe.

There is no mother son dance. the DJ is skipping over this.

I would agree with poster above to thank people by name and write we would like to thank sue (brides mother) without her this day would have been impossible, from bringing her beautiful daughter into this world to helping with every last wedding detail you make life amazing!

jan (MOH) thank you for making my bouquet, this has made my day so much more special.

Sorry if his family sucks but nope they should not get the thanks either.

And I am not at all concerned with how his parents feel, they should be ashamed. But I am concerned about how my sweet FH would feel.

If you don't want to thank someone who doesn't deserve it, that's fine. But to acknowledge one parent and not another at a wedding, where you are uniting two families, is probably not the best place to do it.

I agree with Mrs P, perhaps omit that section altogether and simply thank you mother in a toast instead.

How does this sound?

Thank you to all of those who helped make this day wonderful. A very special thanks to the Mother of the Bride for all that she has done to make this day a dream come true.

You mentioned you're worried about how your FH will feel -- have you asked him if he's okay with you only thanking your mother in the program?

We have spoken briefly about it, but he did not voice an opinion one way or the other. I will speak to him again this weekend and see what he says.

April..I like exactly what you just put^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm obviously going to advise against it, because I think it'll end up hurting feelings, and while you might not care now, they are your FH's parents forever, and your in-laws for the rest of your life -- I don't think it's a risk you should take.

But if there's any possibility that you would hurt your FH by doing this, please don't. Do the toast or just do something privately, but I don't think you should use your wedding to air your frustration.

That said, you're going to do what you're going to do, and I wish you the best whatever you choose.

I am going to be in the same boat as you, i will probaly just say as you put it thank you to all those who helped...this way its very broad

Maybe you can thank them for having such a wonderful amazing son.