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Just Said Yes November 2019

Processional Order/dealing with a disagreeable moh

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Anne, on October 28, 2019 at 2:27 PM

Hi guys,

My wedding is a little less than two weeks away and, generally speaking, things seem to be falling into place. I just sent out my timeline to my bridal party, though, and now my Maid of Honor (my sister) has an issue with the processional order and, frankly, I don't know how to keep everybody happy without totally re-arranging everything.

My initial plan was to have the groom and his best man slip in through the side and stand by the altar with the officiant. Then the bridesmaids and groomsmen would go down the aisle in pairs. Then the maid of honor would walk down alone (since the best man is at the altar already), then my dad and I would follow.

MOH doesn't want to walk by herself. I get it, that's why I'm walking down the aisle with my dad, but from what I've read that's a pretty standard processional order. She says that she's never seen it done that way before, it would look/feel awkward, and that she should walk with the best man and the groom should just stand by himself, because, (and i quote), "him feeling awkward is kind of the point". However, the groom is very shy and nervous about standing up in front of people and I think having his best friend with him would significantly reduce his anxiety. (He's also got a bit of a nervous stomach, so keeping his stress level low is really to everybody's benefit.) If I've got to pick between her comfort and my future husbands, I pick his. I mean it's his wedding, right?
Does anybody have a suggestion that might make everybody happy? Or should I just tell my sister to deal with it and handle the aftermath as best I can?

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57 Comments

VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on October 29, 2019 at 1:52 PM
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Tell her that she is an adult and can walk 30 seconds by herself
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Master October 2017
karen · on October 29, 2019 at 3:12 PM
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I am glad you worked out a compromise, I think your mom and her walking together is great.
I do think you should do a bouquet toss if you want, BUT no one should be "encouraged" to participate. With only 40 people there, are there many single women? If most of the single women are in the WP, I would ask them, do you think I should do a bouquet toss, and then listen to what they say. How are you going to feel if no one comes up for it? I was at one wedding where the bride's mom was harassing every single woman, including a 62 YO woman to get up. It was awful.
I think she should wear whatever shoes she wants.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Julie · on October 30, 2019 at 10:00 AM
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I am doing the same thing...groom and best man will already be up there..my dad is walking my mom to her seat and then swinging back around to get me. Then comes my brisesmaid(my sister)...and then my MOH(my daughter)...they will both be walking in alone...and then at last. . Me and my dad....
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Beginner December 2019
Rachel · on October 30, 2019 at 4:55 PM
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You could have the grooms mother walk with FH up the aisle, or like others have said, the officiant can walk with him. Otherwise, if I were you and it was my sister, I'd tell her to deal with it lol. I am the older sibling though, so I may just be mean.
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Devoted August 2020
Valerie · on October 30, 2019 at 5:43 PM
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Can the groom lead the processional by walking in with both parents at the side? Or walking in with the officiant at the start? He’s only up there by himself for like 30 seconds if anything before everyone else starts coming down the aisle and you join him after a minute or so depending on the size of the wedding party. I’ve personally never attended a wedding in which the groom was already at the altar. But I know it happens because I’ve seen it in movies and on TV. I think this could work for you and everybody wins because they won’t walk in by themselves. Good luck!
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Dedicated September 2020
Destiny · on October 30, 2019 at 5:47 PM
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I’d keep the order the way it is. It’s your wedding and sorry to say but the bride and groom comfort ability should come first. I’d say the maid of honor should deal with it. It’s her duty to not add stress to you on your big day.
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Savvy October 2021
Jackie · on October 30, 2019 at 5:54 PM
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Even if she’s never seen it done that way...it is your wedding , not hers. She should deal with it no matter what! I say put your foot down
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on October 30, 2019 at 9:16 PM
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Yes! 100%! Especially considering she hasn’t been supportive, I think you’re giving her waaaay too much. This isn’t her day! She can be this picky when it is.
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on October 30, 2019 at 9:17 PM
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And people totally do bouquet toss. We went to a wedding last April that did this. And who cares, it’s your day, do what makes you HAPPY!
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Master October 2019
Laura · on October 31, 2019 at 7:57 AM
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Most weddings have the MOH walk alone. Your wedding, your way, PERIOD. I"m not trying to sound harsh, but it makes me nuts when attendants put demands on the bride and groom like that. I had to deal with that at my wedding. I put my foot down finally and it was fine. She must have not been to many weddings. i'd say 99 percent of the ones i've gone to have had the MOH walk alone, and i've been to ALOT of weddings in my 50 years
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Expert November 2022
Megan · on October 31, 2019 at 8:56 AM
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I plan on having my moh walk in alone because I am only having her, and I think my fh is only having his two brothers one the best man ( is married- I know that doesn't matter) and his other brother is like 10 years younger than my moh ( not like he looks that young) so I can't really imagine her walking in with either of them lol
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Super December 2021
Alyssa · on October 31, 2019 at 10:19 AM
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It's HIS wedding, not hers.
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Dedicated February 2020
MrsE2020 · on November 1, 2019 at 11:34 PM
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I've been in a few weddings and the groomsmen were all up front when we walked in. Bridesmaids walked in 1 by 1 and then maid of honor and flower girl. Bridal party paired up to follow the bride and groom out. That's what I was planning on doing. I haven't seen it where they walk together at the beginning.
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Savvy November 2021
Paula · on November 1, 2019 at 11:51 PM
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It’s your wedding and she should comply with how you want to run your ceremony.
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Beginner February 2020
Tina · on November 2, 2019 at 12:12 AM
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This is actually a great solution, in my head. The best man can be up front for the most part and the MOH doesn’t have to walk in alone.
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Savvy November 2019
Elisabeth · on November 5, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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Best Wishes!
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Super March 2020
kymarmck · on November 5, 2019 at 1:12 PM
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If you try to please everyone you will literally go insane lol.
If she's concerned about walking alone could you maybe double up a groomsman with a BM and her or have one of your ushers escort her up?
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