Processional Order/dealing with a disagreeable moh

I just don’t see this as that dramatic of an issue or grounds for making a sister sit out the professional. Yeah your bridesmaids support you but they’re your nearest and dearest and in my world, those are people that I want to make sure are comfortable. There are 2 most typical processionals that I’ve seen: 1. All guys enter together at the front, all women walk in one by one or 2. All bridesmaids and groomsmen walk in together paired or grouped off however works for the number of party members (pairs, or a trip if an uneven number). Both of these are the norm. Option 1 could also work for your group. But the processional really can go however you want it. I’ve never seen everyone paired off except for the MOH, though it would be okay to do it if it worked for everyone. I certainly don’t think this is attention seeking of the Moh since she’s literally trying to stand out less. And I can see feeling a bit awkward about being the only one who walks by myself. I too might ask if it’s set in stone of if anything could be so I could be less in the spot light, but if you didn’t want to consider all the guys up front and all the girls alone or groom and best man up front and one groomsman with 2 bridesmaid to ensure everyone has a walking partner, I’d still roll with it and show up for you, I just wouldn’t be comfortable.

actually, we went through something similar. My *ideal* was groomsmen walk, then H escort is mother, then bridesmaids walk and me with my parents follow last. But our best man has some
mobility issues and he wasn’t certain he’d want to walk in front of everyone as he’s self conscious about it. So, we presented 2 options. The one described above , or, have all the guys start at the front (in our case, we would’ve just had the boys sitting in the front row til it was time to take positions). He was one the fence so we left the ball in his court. He did a trial run and day of was feeling confident — so we all walked down the aisle and it worked out great. But , we’d have been perfectly happy if he’d gone the other way even though it wasn’t my vision....as really the most important part of my vision of the day was everyone having a good time.

It’s okay to not rearrange your plans, that’s certainly your right. I just think there are simple solutions to consider that would work in a way that would benefit all parties without hurting anyone else. I think you’re right that just moving the best man is not a great solution, but, there are other options to consider. And if not, it’s true that a solo walk won’t kill her.

When this is done, I typically see the groom and officiant standing together. However, you can always have the best man return to the back to meet the MOH and walk down. It wouldn’t necessarily be weird or odd for that to happen either.

I’ve never seen it done the way you’re describing.

this is what we did:

H’s grandparents
My grandparents
H escorted his mother (when his mother was seated, H exited off to the side and then came to the alter with our pastor)
H’s father followed behind them
My stepmother escorted by my cousin
My mother escorted by my sister
Junior bridesmaid escorted by the junior bridesman
Bridesmaid escorted by groomsmen
Bridesmaid escorted by groomsmen
MOH 2 escorted by groomsmen
MOH 1 escorted by best man
Me escorted by my dad

How big is your wedding that everyone is a nervous wreck thinking of doing anything by themselves? Are they afraid that those attending will look at them "more" than they would be anyway? If you're walking alone, or with a partner (who is inches from you), all eyes are on you!

As an attendee, I would think it very odd to have 3 people walking together, so imo you should avoid that. I guess the BM could walk with her, but that would also be out of the ordinary.

Maybe one of the first Groomsmen could get up front, circle back up the side aisle, and walk down a second time with the MOH? Or. the BM could stand with your FH until the first Groomsman arrives, and then leave the same way, up the side aisle, and walk in with the MOH?

View Quoted Comment I attended a Wedding where a Bridesmaid walked with 2 Groomsmen.

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That sounds even more bizarre! I would find that very strange. But, maybe it's just me.

Boy, if your head wasn't already spinning it probably is now with all these responses. No one is right in this situation. It's all opinions. And the only that matters is yours and your FH.

The majority of weddings that I've been to have all had professionals exactly as you planned. There isn't anything wrong, weird or malicious with having your MOH walk alone. The issue is that she feels self-conscious and I'm sure you dont want anyone feeling that way. So how do you make sure sister and husband are both comfortable? Since you're walking with your dad, could your sister walk with your mother? Is it something your sister thinks she can handle if she does have to walk alone? In reality it'll take about a minute, though it can feel like forever lol If the officiant is standing with FH would that be enough to calm his nerves? Then BM and MOH can walk together.

Take a deep breath, step away from it for a little while. There's a solution somewhere. You'll find it.

I would say she can just deal with it. If it was a friend and not your sister I might suggest compromising, but my sister and I disagree all the time and we get over it haha. Making sure your fiance is happy with the ceremony trumps her not liking the idea of walking alone.

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We plan on doing the same. I think it’s more common this way. However, we did just go to a wedding where the processional is exactly as you planned it. I think if you had all of the BMs walk individually, and FH had ask his GM with him up front, and then everyone walked out in pairs, it would be the “win win” situation. I also agree that you sister needs to be supporting you and just suck it up, but if you do want to help ease the discomfort, this seems to me to be the best plan.

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This 100%. FH's feelings trump demanding MOH. This scenario is reason #37 why I had my two sons as Best Men, no women, lol! Best wishes!

More often, groomsmen all stand at the altar with the groom, rather than come down the aisle with Bridesmaids or MOH. To leave groom alone there, shifting Best Man, would be unfair. Just have all the guys wait with groom, and only women come down the aisle, and MOH will not feel she is the only one .

I’ll preface this by saying my professional won’t be traditional since I am having my teenage sons stand up with me instead of bridesmaids. I asked my sister to walk down the isle, though, both to honor her place in my life and to help me up until the last minute. She said she would be happy to do it but didn’t want to walk alone (FH has a best man and a female attendant so they are walking together), so we brainstormed. Eventually it was decided that my sister would be accompanied by her daughter. To give her daughter a purpose I’ll have her carry a note to the groom.
This solution may not work for everyone but I wanted to mention I think it’s ok to get creative to help everyone feel comfortable.

Deal with it. It’s not her wedding yes do you want to please people of course. But frankly I’d rather try to please the groom you know the person who is actually getting married over the MOH feeling a little awkward. Like others said tough love but hey it’s your day not hers, she’s you sister she will get over it eventually.

Ehh I don't think this is standard. The standard from what I've witnessed is the bridesmaids ALL walk in alone, they pair up and exit with the groomsmen then. Do whatever you want though, it's your wedding, not hers. It takes all of 1 minute to walk down the aisle sometimes less.

Thanks for the ideas and feedback, everybody.

I talked with my sister and proposed that, as a few people have suggested, the groomsmen come in through the side and then the bridesmaids and the bride come in down the aisle, single file except for me with my dad. She still wasn't happy with that, so we eventually settled on her walking with our mom.

Just to clarify, it's a 40-person wedding, we've each got 4 attendants. Which already seems a little crazy when you realize that the bridal party is 25% of the headcount. My sister has not exactly been the most supportive MOH, so it was a little annoying that she has not offered much help but she's happy to poke holes in my plan with 11 days to go. I took the bouquet toss off my timeline because she said "nobody does that anymore." I wanted everybody to wear chucks, she wanted to wear heels (even though she, the groom, and I are all the same height), I compromised and told the bridesmaids they could wear whatever they wanted as long as they were flats. She's still bugging me about the heels. So it's not like I'm this monster who's proposing shoving my lovely, shy BFF into an uncomfortable situation. Heck, I thought she might want the attention.

Anyway, problem solved, hopefully. Wish me luck!

For mine, the groom and groomsmen are taking the parents/grandparents down and then bridesmaids followed by MOH and then me with my dad and stepdad. Mine was also requested by my MoH as the BM is her ex-husband (yeah, its a little weird. luckily, no hard feelings but she doesn't want the family to think they are getting back together).

You could have the groom escort the parents (except your dad, obviously) and then have all the attendants walk in pairs.

Do you have a flower girl? Your sister could walk with her. Or you could just have all your bridesmaids walk each by themselves and have all the groomsmen come in the side door, that way your sister is not singled out. That is actually the traditional way. Groomsmen walking the bridesmaids down the isle at the beginning of the ceremony is a more recent practice. I would actually go that way, no one is singled out and the groom is still happy.

We decided that my FH, the best man, groomsmen, and pastor, would all come from the side door into the church. Someone will escort my mom to the front pew of the church (I wanted both my mom and dad to walk me down the isle, but all 3 of us won't fit). First my 6 year old niece will walk down the isle, then my sister (MOH), and then my 6 year old nephew will pull the isle runner down the isle. After that my dad and I will walk down the isle, and my mom will walk with us from the front pew to the alter. Since we have 9 men in the wedding party and one women, we made it work for us.

I would say talk to your FH and see what he is comfortable with. There is no one way to do it, figure out what works for you both, it is your wedding!

The way I ser it, it's yours and your FH day. If having his best man there with him will make him feel more comfortable, then I think you should stick with that.

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Seems to me you're compromising a little too much with your sister about your wedding. If you want a bouquet toss, have one! If she doesn't like walking down the aisle alone in front of 40 people, oh well. She should have known when she agreed to be moh that she would have to stand up in front of people. She should be wearing the type of shoes you choose.

My goodness, she can be this demanding for her wedding. You get to decide what will be happening with yours.