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Anne
Just Said Yes November 2019

Processional Order/dealing with a disagreeable moh

Anne, on October 28, 2019 at 2:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 57
Hi guys,

My wedding is a little less than two weeks away and, generally speaking, things seem to be falling into place. I just sent out my timeline to my bridal party, though, and now my Maid of Honor (my sister) has an issue with the processional order and, frankly, I don't know how to keep everybody happy without totally re-arranging everything.

My initial plan was to have the groom and his best man slip in through the side and stand by the altar with the officiant. Then the bridesmaids and groomsmen would go down the aisle in pairs. Then the maid of honor would walk down alone (since the best man is at the altar already), then my dad and I would follow.

MOH doesn't want to walk by herself. I get it, that's why I'm walking down the aisle with my dad, but from what I've read that's a pretty standard processional order. She says that she's never seen it done that way before, it would look/feel awkward, and that she should walk with the best man and the groom should just stand by himself, because, (and i quote), "him feeling awkward is kind of the point". However, the groom is very shy and nervous about standing up in front of people and I think having his best friend with him would significantly reduce his anxiety. (He's also got a bit of a nervous stomach, so keeping his stress level low is really to everybody's benefit.) If I've got to pick between her comfort and my future husbands, I pick his. I mean it's his wedding, right?
Does anybody have a suggestion that might make everybody happy? Or should I just tell my sister to deal with it and handle the aftermath as best I can?

57 Comments

Latest activity by kymarmck, on November 5, 2019 at 1:12 PM
  • Devin
    Super October 2019
    Devin ·
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    We had our officiant and the groom walk down together and the BM walked with the MOH.
    • Reply
  • Brianna N
    Super October 2019
    Brianna N ·
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    You could double up the MOH and the last bridesmaid with the last groomsmen to enter.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    She can deal with it. Sorry tough love on this one. Making sure your FH is comfortable is most important.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I agree. You're going to lose your mind trying to make every single person happy. These are adults, not children!

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  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
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    My MOH came in by herself and when we were discussing the order of things with the Pastor at the rehearsal he said that's how it's usually done. We had it exactly how you're planning on having it.

    No offence to her, but as one of the last people to come in before the bride, people probably won't even really be paying that much attention to her, they'll be waiting for you to make your appearance. So she shouldn't worry too much about feeling awkward/being in the spotlight.

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I've only even seen the MOH and BM walk in together (unless ALL the guys were up front and ALL the girls walked alone. I totally understand how that'd be uncomfortable for your MOH. Can't you just have the BM walk with her? Or just have all the guys stand up front so your MOH is not the odd one out in walking alone?

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  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
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    We had all the groomsmen walk out first and stand up front. Then all the BMs walked in individually. Leaving they walked in pairs. I don't know if something like that would work for you, but essentially everyone would walk in alone, so she wouldn't feel awkward.

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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    Don't make your sister be the only walking alone. Either have her and a Bridesmaid, or her and a groomsman.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Tell your sister to suck it up and deal. This is your wedding, not hers, and your future husband's anxiety is WAY more important on this day that a few seconds of discomfort that she might feel having to walk by herself. How long is the walk anyway? Couldn't take more than a minute or two, right?

    Stick to your guns, have the wedding that YOU and FH want. Nobody else's opinions matter. She'll live.

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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    Op can work harder and make everyone comfortable. Her sister can walk with someone, does not have to be Best Man. Why would OP make certain everyone else gets to walk with someone but not her sister? Seems strange to me.

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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    All of my Bridal Party except the👰+🤵, 🌺🙇‍♀️ (with BM-her Mom) and 💍🐻er (with his Dad) walked separately.

    She will be fine. It sounds like she’s trying to make it all about her.

    Is she Married or in a strong relationship?
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    You can have people walk in however you like, though — Having 1 groomsmen walk with 2 bridesmaids is a simple solution to this issue, making both husband and sister happy at nobody’s expense.
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  • karen
    Master October 2017
    karen ·
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    But here, OP is having everyone else walk with someone, only her sister walks alone. Can you not see the difference?

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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Hi Karen:
    Please stop replying to me. Can YOU not see that I’m only offering suggestions and relating my experience to provide a peaceful resolution for her?
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  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    Anne:

    YOU should NOT have to re-arrange YOUR plans to accommodate your Sister. She’s supposed to be supporting YOU, not the other way around.

    She has the option to walk alone, sit in the audience, or not attend. The ball is on her court.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    So you’re walking down the aisle with your dad so you don’t feel awkward walking alone and the best man is standing with the groom so he doesn’t feel awkward, but you don’t think it’s odd/uncomfortable that you’ve made it so your sister is the only person in the entire processional walking alone? I’ve always seen the MOH walk alone before the bride, but I’ve also never seen the groomsmen escort the bridesmaids. Bridesmaids have all walked solo in every wedding I’ve attended.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Bubba
    VIP September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
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    I forgot to say “Congratulations and 🍀”‼️
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  • Desiree
    Super March 2020
    Desiree ·
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    I will also agree with both PP. If I were in that situation, my FH comes first. And that sounds mean, but I mean... given the situation, he is priority, rather than 1 single moment that'll be done and overwith before they know it.

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  • Rebecca
    Super January 2020
    Rebecca ·
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    Could you have the groom, his best man, and groomsmen come in from the side first along with the officiant, then have each bridesmaid and MOH walk down the aisle alone? That's what we're doing. It's just a suggestion though. As other PPs have said, maybe pair the MOH with the last BM and GM? I can see why she would be uncomfortable walking alone, but if that's really how you want it done, then, by all means, do so, just understand there will be more push back from your MOH.

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