Private Party 🤫

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I agree that it would feel weird going to a wedding without your spouse or at least a friend.

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What's the difference in this situation?

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Why would you consider this disrespecting your relationship?

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What if the couple simply didn't have the funds to pay for pairs but wanted to invite you as a close friend?

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What if their budget didn't allow for guests to bring their spouses?

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Okay, the plus one language aside, what if the couple could only afford to invite their closest friends and your spouse simply didn't fall into that category?

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I share a similar opinion to yours.

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Please elaborate.

View Quoted Comment Yes ma’am.

He doesn’t always want to go to the events that I’m attending.

View Quoted Comment It’s breaking etiquette and the entire time I’ve planned this wedding I’ve followed etiquette by the book because manners and being a gracious host are so important to me. Even before the wedding I’ve read Miss Manners every week so this matters to me almost on a core level.
Splitting a social unit via invite is one of the rudest things a host can do.

View Quoted Comment Because couples are a social unit and you don’t split them up on an invitation. By not inviting my spouse, you’re effectively saying ‘your relationship doesn’t exist in my eyes’.

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Then the cut their total guest list - budget is not an excuse for hosting poorly.

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A spouse or partner, regardless of length of relationship is not a plus one, they are a unit. It's an all or nothing situation.

View Quoted Comment Then don't invite us. We invited married, engaged, living together/very serious (in the cases where they had to live apart due to school/distance/etc).

It's a tough decision, but that's why making a guest list is hard.

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It is considered rude because a married couple is a "set." You have to invite them both, but if one person cannot attend, then at least you understood that they are a set, and not two individuals.

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The difference is that the invitation addressed the couple as a set--if one can't attend due to other commitments, that is different from not inviting at all.

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Got it, thanks.

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I think it's unfair to expect another couple to follow the same path that you did when planning their wedding. People commonly place labels like "rude" on others for not doing what they would do. Even still I can understand why you wouldn't attend the wedding without your spouse.

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I understand your perspective. If the strict "no plus ones" policy was due to the couple's budget would you pay for your spouse to attend if that was an option?

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If I were your friend I'd be really disappointed to hear that.