Stacy
Just Said Yes May 2020

Private Ceremony

Stacy, on December 4, 2019 at 12:44 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22
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Hey guys! I need some advice..

We are having a private ceremony with about 30ish guests, and then having a much larger reception after. For our wedding website, should we put the information for the ceremony as well or just stick to the reception information? We're having our ceremony and reception on the same property.



22 Comments

Latest activity by Catherine, on December 5, 2019 at 2:11 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    This is bound to cause a lot of hurt feelings and I would imagine that posting information for the ceremony, that most of your guests aren’t invited to, is just going to cause more hurt feelings and confusion.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
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    I wouldn’t put the ceremony info on there. If you do that, I’d be prepared for others to show up to the ceremony.
    • Reply
  • VIP November 2021
    ·
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    I agree with both previous posts.. i wouldn’t put it on there
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    In no way is 30 people a private ceremony. What are you gonna do when your reception guests show up a little early and see the ceremony they werent good enough to be invited to?
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    Don't put the ceremony info
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I am doing a separate reception from my elopement. I suggest you maybe do two separate invitations with an editable template. Maybe one invitation to include the ceremony and then one just for the reception. Or you could do something I see often that says you were married in a private ceremony but that guests are invited to the reception. Here is an idea: https://www.etsy.com/listing/560345817/tying-the-knot-wedding-suite-printable?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=we%26%2339%3Bre+tying+the+knot&ref=sr_gallery-1-3&organic_search_click=1&pro=1


    Might be good to explain the plan to those you are inviting so they know in advance because some could take it as they are not important enough to view the ceremony but come to the reception. Maybe word it small, intimate rather private because that usually connotes eloping just you two.

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  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    Honestly, this is a horrible plan. A private ceremony includes the couple, and maybe immediate family only. You will have a lot of hurt and p**sed off people.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    May I ask why not have those attending the reception attend the wedding? Especially if at the same venue. Everyone is different but personally I would feel like the wedding is the more important part and that if I were not invited then I am not special enough to see the union but expected to come to a reception and probably provide a gift. I hate to rain on your parade but I do agree with others I feel that this will backfire and cause more stress and hurt feelings. If the goal is that you want a small wedding then maybe do the ceremony one day and the reception another? Ultimately, do what you want because it is your day but just something to think about to cause less headaches and offending others.

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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I agree. This might not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth

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  • Neeva
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
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    We are having multiple events that not everyone is invited to (everyone is invited to the wedding and reception, but not to the rehearsal dinner & family brunch).

    To the rehearsal & brunch- we ordered separate invitations and will mail out either 1, 2 or 3 cards.

    For our website, we are using Minted and it allows you to add events that are hidden to guests that are not invited to that event. We are doing online RSVPs and put our guest listed into Minted and I assigned each guest to which events they can RSVP to. These guests will be able to see the event information for their events but they will also have the printed invitations in person.

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  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    I would suggest two different invitations and only the reception info on your website. I see a few people that say it’s a bad idea but it’s YOUR day so do what makes you happy. My son and his wife had a small ceremony with about 20 people then a reception all in the same location and it turned out great. I would leave time between the two so people don’t show up while you are having your ceremony. Yes, some people may be upset but they will get over it!!
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    It's your day until you invite other people. If you dont want to consider your guests' experience, you shouldn't invite guests.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    To each their own
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I guess you're right. I didnt realize some people care about their guests and some don't.
    To each their own.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    tenor.gif Hallelujah
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  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    Sorry I was providing a different perspective than you.
    • Reply
  • Stacy
    Just Said Yes May 2020
    Stacy ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your advice! I really appreciate it!!


    We are having only family at our ceremony, which I'm sure our guests will understand. I think I will explain the plan and just put the reception info on the website. Thanks guys Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    Master February 2022
    Victorian Bride ·
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    Totally agree!! We are having a private ceremony with 10 guests, 4 of which are our attendants. Our wedding is this month. In late Spring we are planning a big, black-tie gala for all of our friends and family. I hope you can figure out a way to include everyone. People will definitely have hurt feelings not being invited to your wedding ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Ann
    Beginner November 2019
    Ann ·
    • Flag
    We also had a private ceremony of 35 ppl. Our wedding website, With Joy, allowed us to control who is able to view which event. For example, for the ceremony, only those 35 guests were able to see the details. Reception info, all of our guests were able to view the details as everyone was invited to that. Our reception was the next day after the ceremony because it was at a different venue. We had an evening ceremony and dinner. Reception was the next evening.
    • Reply
  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
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    Absolutely right.

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