Private Catholic Ceremony Before Big Wedding

I'm confused. You have a profile wedding date of 1/27/18 but your post says 3/24/17 which has obviously already passed.

You can absolutely have a private ceremony if it is immediate family only. Just let your guests who are invited to the reception what your plans are.

I am very sorry for your loss Emily. Your heart is heavy and you are looking for peace (what I am reading into) I think this is a question only you and your FH can answer. This is so personal and I believe no matter what answers you get, you and your FH should be the only ones who decide what you do.

Not sure why it automatically set that as my date on my profile, but I think I changed it. We are hoping to have the ceremonies separate, I'm just hoping it won't upset any of our loved ones. We would still like to say our vows in front of everyone at our big wedding. Just not sure how to go about it!

It's 3/24/2018. Getting my dates mixed up, this year has flown by!

I actually know several folks who have done something similar, though I'm not sure all of the reasons, as they weren't Catholic. I think it's fine to do this, but I would be clear with guests on what you're doing. I have heard of guests who get angry when they find out later that the couple was already officially married before the wedding. Personally, I think that's a little silly...it's not like you're duping your guests by officially getting married a day or two in advance! But I'd be upfront with everyone just in case.

I've had several couples who have done a small, private Catholic ceremony before or a convalidation (blessing) afterwards.

Do what you decide, you are under no obligation to tell anyone anything. Having done 1600 weddings, I have had literally one instance in which a guest asked me about the wedding being legalized on that date. It's no one's business but yours and this whole "lying to the guests' thing is a discussion that happens only here. I would tell your parents, but the whole point of a wedding celebration (besides getting you legally married of course) is to celebrate your union with your loved ones.

If you decide to do a church wedding,it's probably a good move to look into it ASAP in case you need to do more Pre-cana,etc.

I'm very sorry about your cousin; that is a very, very difficult loss. Best wishes to you.

I'm Catholic as well and I've heard of this being done before. Usually the day before your wedding with all your friends. Usually it is done because a marriage outside the Catholic Church isn't seen as legitimate. This is because it isn't seen as a covenent to the church unless you are married inside the church. Honestly it was really important to my husband and I to get married in the church. There isn't anything quite like it. Usually it is very important to your families as well if they are also Catholic.

I have heard of this as well. If you are doing a second ceremony that everyone is invited to, I don't think it would be an issue.

My friend got married in the church in a private ceremony a week and a half before her -- to her -- "real" wedding, the one with attendants and reception and a civil ceremony. This was 26 years ago, so yup, it happens and it's OK. They're still married, and it's still official!

Focus on the marriage, not a wedding. It's a sacrament and a very special one. Wondering why you can't have a traditional ceremony as your "big wedding" with the reception after?

As a bride looking into the same topic, my FH and I decided against the night before because that is actually your wedding day, not the following day. FH wanted the anticipation of seeing me in my dress and all the wedding details. We are going to get it blessed the day after the wedding.

When I talked to my priest, he threw out the idea of a retired priest to do the wedding outside. He is young and cannot bend the rules but a retired priest might. That way you get your outside ceremony and you get the sacrament. (Because the sacrament is actually just the two people getting married and the priest to be legitimate. The needing to be married in the church is a rule that has been passed down generation to generation that the bishops don't want to break).

You have one wedding. The reciting vows will basically be a recap not a wedding.

Um Megan? That is actually not true for many, many churches. A true Catholic priest will not marry a couple outside the church walls. It's part of the deal. I know that many guys advertise that they are retired from this order or that order, but if the sacramental nature of this is important to the couple, they need to do their research.

How does one 'prove' that they 'got' the sacrament?

Celia is spot on.

The priests that advertise are not affiliated with the Roman Catholic Church.

A convalidation needs to be requested and approved, it's not a given.

The sacrament of marriage, along with other sacraments, is recorded on the baptismal certificate and kept in the church office or in the diocese office if that church is closed.

Celia is right. Catholic priests will not marry couples outside of the Catholic Church.

I wanted to update everyone as we have had an eventful weekend! We spoke to the priest at our church and he agreed to marry us in a private, intimate ceremony the morning of our "wedding day". We will invite only immediate family and it will be kept a secret as we want to surprise everyone and announce it during a short ceremony at the venue that evening. We will write letters to each other and read in front of the rest of our family and friends, so that they will still get to witness us professing our love to each other. This is perfect for us and we are so excited!

I work for a Catholic Church..I manage the Parish so this is something I know lots about.

First thing to know..every Diocese will have their own rules. Some are very strict, some are not. Some Diocese will allow weddings to happen outside of a church but with proper approval first. Some will not even consider it. Ours does consider it and give approval on a case-by-case basis.

2nd.. If you decide to have a non-Catholic wedding and then have your marriage blessed(convalidation), please be aware that you could have to wait up to a year to do so. And during that year, your marriage will not be recognized by the church..ie, no communion. Again, it all depends on your Diocese. Ours is a year..and you still have to do pre-cana.

Just a lil info for anyone else with questions about this. I'm glad you're having a small Catholic ceremony, OP. It will be meaningful and intimate.

My family is also catholic and my cousin had a private ceremony in her family's church with just immediate family the day before her big reception and they redid their vows beforehand in front of everyone else.

So I'm not Catholic. But I'm Mormon and we get married in the temple and only worthy temple recommend holders can attend our actual wedding ceremony and temple sealing. If we decided to have a civil ceremony our church makes us wait a year till we can take part in our religious temple ceremony in our temple. What we decided to do since we want to get married and sealed in the trample the same day. So after the temple ceremony we are having a ring ceremony before the reception. Everyone invited to the reception that was not included in the temple ceremony know that my FH and I are devout Mormons and how important it was for us to have temple ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Hello! Can I ask how this all worked out? What time was the private ceremony, what did you wear, etc? When was the second ceremony with all your guests?