Prison wedding

@Elphaba

Is there any way to donate to your friend, either to a legal fund or for some comfort items or anything at all?

I'm so, so sorry to hear about her suffering and the injustice that has been done to her.

Oh, elphaba, that's heartbreaking! I truly hope that things work out for your friend

@Elphaba I am so sorry for your friend. I will pray the appeal hearing goes well for her.

ETA: as for you OP, this is not funny if it is a joke. if it is not a joke, I would do a lot of thinking before committing to this

Oh lol

Cool story bro. @Elphaba I'm so sorry your friend is serving a sentence for something she should be given a medal for. The fact that she was the true victim in all of this and is paying for the crime is absurd. I hope her appeal goes through and she can get her life back. She already lost enough cause of him. Her life shouldn't be something else he gets to claim.

It doesn't matter if it's a fairy tale or not, what matters is that it's your wedding! All my best to you and to your future spouse! No matter what the crime, the length of the sentence, or any of the other circumstances, no one has any right to judge either of you for choosing to pursue love and happiness or for choosing to live your lives in the way you see fit. Hope your wedding is magical!

Thank you @Elphaba! If she's okay with it, maybe I can transfer the money to you, and you can send it to her?

There are plenty of decent and good people in prison who were trapped by circumstance or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or simply not having enough money for bail. And yes, the terms jail and prison are used interchangeably, which is wrong, but honestly, it's not for any of us to judge a prison marriage.

Of course, this would be an easier argument if OP bothered to come back and respond to any of the comments because the devil is in the details, (and I have little patience for those who think God designed a journey especially for them.....)

I have done two prison weddings; I have a colleague who does many. I managed to navigate the rules and regs involved (she is much better at it....)

My particular couple consisted of one partner who had become incarcerated after they became a couple (they had two little kids). They knew each other for years, and the timing of this commitment was bittersweet. I picked the one partner and the two little kids up at the bus station, we all drove to the prison together. They had a photographer who was also incarcerated and they were allowed six or seven family members. Before I left, one of the married partners asked if we could all pray together, and amongst the prayers, were personalized wishes for each guest delivered by one of the attendants. My wish was "Dear God, please guide Miss Milton back to the highway safely" (I was thinking the same thing, honestly....)

Glass house stuff, honestly.

Ok, So... The thread was maybe a troll, but they lost the game because Elphaba and Delfina and the rest of you have warmed my icy cold heart. @Elphaba - I hope you get your friend back, and that she can somehow start to get some of her life back.

@ Elphaba: I find it beyond sickening that our legal system has a specific number of times that a woman may stab her rapist and still have it be considered "self-defense". Who decided this? This sounds as archaic as the laws early in the country that allowed a man to spank his wife as long as the stick wasn't wider than his thumb. This whole story makes me want to vomit. This is American Justice? I hope all goes well for your friend.

@Elphaba

No problem at all. Whenever you hear from her.

I'm really glad she has someone like you in her life. Know that someone in the world loves you unconditionally can be an amazing comfort in painful times.

WOW, Most of u are horrible people. Yes, people marry inmates. They are very people, too!! It's not some stupid TV show and they aren't crazy for doing it. There is a variety of reasons why people end up in the prison system, and shocker - inmates are not all bad people. Get off of your high horse. What kind of souless people are you? I am going to be marrying my fiance in prison because we don't want to wait any longer and he is just about to go in from the county jail. He has multiple charges and they all stem from his drug addiction. Nothing is harder than being with an addict. we have been through more together than any of you ever have guaranteed. And we still love each other. He is an amazing person with a horrible disease. Yes, addiction is a disease. And it drove him to commit crimes to feed his addiction. The good part about him going away is it gives him more clean time. There are also a lot of programs in prison to help with these kinds of things. Of course I would rather marry him outside of prison, but just like any other fiance, I don't want to wait too long. We can always have a proper ceremony when he gets out. It is very difficult to marry someone who is incarcerated because there are certain rules about what you can and cannot wear. And you have to do all the work on the outside to get the proper paperwork. In many cases you have to take six months worth of classes, too. And they are expensive. I've been with my fiance for 5 years. The person who posted not to do it because she or he was a CO doesn't know what they are talking about. Inmates are just like anyone else, only they have committed a crime. A cheater is a cheater whether or not they have ever been in the prison system, and an honorable man is an honorable man whether or not they have been in the prison system. There are plenty of guys in prison who are dead loyal to their partners whether they are in or out. of course a CO would say something like that, most of them have no respect for inmates because they don't even see them as people. Clearly that is the attitude of most of the posters here, which is disgusting. You people need to think about yourself and stop judging everyone else just because they haven't had the life you had. OP deserves just as much respect as the rest of you regardless of their choices and the only troll is most of you responding with your terrible attitudes and judgements. I found this for him looking for dress ideas for a prison wedding, I was searching for prison approved (DOC approved) wedding dresses, and I found you clowns. Thankfully there are a few people who responded to OP wishing them good luck and saying as long as they are happy that's what matters. Those are the only ones with any sense. The rest of you need to check yourselves. Anything can happen to anyone, even you or your partner. Then see how strong your marriage is! Nobody is stronger than a prison wife who has to wait on the outside while their partner is doing time and having to worry about corrupt COs or bad inmates messing with their partner. And that is on top of hoping your partner has learned their damn lesson and gotten some help. I am not only someone who strictly follows the law, but I have virtually no vices - I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I've never even snuck into a movie theater as a kid. But you can't choose who you love. I fell in love with a man with an addiction who turned into a criminal. Obviously it's not ideal, but it happens in life. Please do the world a favor and try to have an open heart instead of a closed mind. Thank you.

My phone keeps changing my words. *They are just people too.

Anyway, I may be harsh saying you're horrible. You're just judgemental and ignorant. Please think before you speak/post. there are a lot of people in a lot of situations in life. You can't just go around treating people like that, even if OP didn't come back to post - there's a lesson to be learned here. All the judgment and negativity really shows who a lot of You Are. if you have children I hope you don't raise them with your values because obviously teaching a child to stay out of the prison system is just common sense, but teaching them to be judgmental of other people's situations and to treat people as less than is not. It's just cruelty.
A lot of you sound worse then half of the criminals I've met. For some reason every time I've taken a bus to Chicago to visit a friend of mine, I've met someone who just got out of prison. Like every time I've taken a greyhound there. Weird, yeah. But it has taught me a lot. One of them started talking about their writing and we were discussing doing a book project together. Then I found out he was in prison for having killed his wife. I was mortified. But you would have never known this man was a killer. He had been in prison for 30 something years for that. He was quite a bit older and very well-read, obviously intelligent, and very kind and well-mannered. It was obvious that his time incarcerated changed him. The regret and remorse he expressed was genuine. He said "you can't possibly imagine how it feels to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you took the life of another person". He's right, I could never imagine that. Because I would never do that. But I couldn't help but feel compassion for the person. Obviously I feel more compassion for the victim and their family, but sitting next to me was a human being. A suffering human being. If I killed someone in a fit of rage, or even on accident, I don't know if I could go on living. So I definitely cannot imagine that especially if it were my partner. God knows he's made me want to wring his neck with his addiction and his antics... (I don't believe in God, I'm a Buddhist but whatever...)
I'm just saying people, please think before you judge. I know this is the internet and people hide behind their screens and they think they can say any old thing and it doesn't affect people. But the other person hiding behind their screen is a human being.
Let's just all be humane, how about that?

Sorry for the super long posts, I'm a writer so I can't really help myself. >_<

I wanted to join a wedding planning site to plan the wedding for when he gets out, but I will try to find one with less judgment and more kindness and openness.

Best of luck to you all.

One more thing. This is an excerpt from your community guidelines for this forum, and the majority of you have failed to follow them. Going forward, I hope you can treat future posters with more respect than you did OP.

Be positive, respectful and inclusive.

• This community should be a safe space for all - offensive or explicit content and swearing are not allowed.
• This is an inclusive community - you may not post anything that is abusive, threatening, slanderous, profane, disrespectful or belligerent against any individual or groups of individuals for any reason.

View Quoted Comment Thats none of your business. This is an adult capable of making decisions on her own.