Prenup

Hmm. I don't think I personally could ask for a prenup that said I would get xyz. But I'm the kind of person who is keeping her own savings account - if we get divorced, I would only want half of what we put in together. What's each of ours before will still be each of ours.

But I'm not in your situation. My FH isn't worth 8 figures. Are you working? Will he let you work? If so, can you keep your paychecks?

I'm not sure what exactly you're asking/concern is. You said that you want to be protected but then the next sentence says that he is worth "8 figures" (which no one needs to know... he could be worth nothing and you could still want a prenup). When you get married, what's yours is his and vice versa UNLESS you get a prenup.... so if you're worried about not getting anything if you divorce (I hate even writing about this...) I wouldn't. If it was you that was worth more and concerned about him taking half of what you have coming into the marriage then I would worry. Other than that, just stop.

Also-- I wouldn't mention amounts... it makes some people wonder if you're bragging or actually asking for advice.

I agree with mrsmacd. a prenup is to protect the person with the assets, rather than to protect the person without them. it would protect him, not you.

Just curious, but if he is worth 8 figures then why are you making centerpieces with fake flowers?

I recognize the reason for a pre-nup and understand they're useful in some cases. No one wants to end up with less than they started should their relationship not work out. That said - if you have a pre-nup that says you get a condo and xyz if things don't work out and you didn't bring that much to the table it could give a bad impression.

I'm making my centerpiece cause I'm a control freak. Plus his money is in assets ( real estate). It is not liquid. He doesn't want one. I'm working. And keeping my money. But I worry that since I'm older then him in ten years maybe things will change. And my understanding of prenups is not what is his is mine. It's what we build after we get married we split. So unless he buys another building while we are married then even thou his assets ( prior buildings from before we got married) will go up in value that won't go to me since its prior assets.

Personally if I was truly in love with someone I would not worry about the need for a prenup for any reason. I wouldn't care what assets he has/had or what he is worth. I would figure that if we were making the huge commitment to marry that we both love each other equally and plan to be together for life. But thats just me..

:0

Lol @Rebekah

Thanks Ashley. I don't plan to divorce. I'm just thinking in case. He's 30 and I'm 44 so u never know. I will talk to him about it

Absolutely. My cousin just went through an ugly divorce, and it saved her. We all want to believe in forever, but the truth of it is, it might not be.

I'm insisting on one...he owns a couple of businesses and a family farm, but mostly because of our age difference...I won't have anyone calling me a gold digger. Besides I'm not entitled to anything that he built up before I came on the scene. He doesn't think it's necessary but as I said, I'm insisting on one :-)

I think you can write a prenup to say pretty much whatever you want. If that's the arrangement you want then you can outline it that way, if FH agrees. You might also look up divorce laws in your state (ex: community property) and see if you could already be covered by the laws in your state. Also, if he purchases real estate while you're married just have your name on it so it belongs to both of you. I don't practice law so I have no clue, but I think things acquired during marriage are typically split unless they're hidden and you don't know about them.

In the least you need one that says he or his estate will help pay college tuition for any children, in the rare case you split up, he remarries and passes away and his widow refuses to contribute to tuition costs for your children.

I think I'm confused. You want a prenup so that you will get one of his properties if you divorce? That's kind of fucked up.

What does Kanye say about prenups?

@samantha I was just about to ask that OP don't you think that is hurtful? You're pretty much saying, I'm older then you so if you run off and find someone new, I want to make sure I get some of your assets. It's like you're expecting it to fail, if I was him I would be upset.

Prenuptual aggreements protect the wealthy from the greedy. It is in the best interest of the well off to get one so that, should something happen, that person's assets are protected from vindictive retribution (i.e. I'm hurt so I'm going to sue you into oblivion).

However, prenups also protect the abused from the abusers. They specifically outline exactly who gets what in the event of a divorce. So, for example, in the case of the wealthy partner "trading up," the other person isn't left with nothing after having devoted his/her life to the marriage.

In my opinion, if you can support yourself before the marriage then you should be able to support yourself in the event of a divorce. The idea of "being left in the cold" only applies if he had agreed to support you before you had established yourself in any monetary capacity. For example, a 22 year-old forgoes his/her career in order to take care of the family with the understanding that the bread-winner will support all of them. Twenty years later they split up and now the earner is fine but the home-maker is left trying to put together a way to support him/herself and maybe kids.

Oh, and one more thing. If it can be foreseen that a divorce could be particularly messy, a prenup would be very helpful.

We're getting a prenup, FH is the one well off, while I am going in with nothing. There is nothing romantic about a prenup, you are talking about if things end. But we both feel better and stranger in our relationship going through this process because it really showed us the different "sides" that we are made of. There were some hard truths that had to be realized, but if you can survive the pre-nup process, than you will feel a lot better in the long run. Just remember a prenup isn't for everybody, and most of the time it doesn't make sense to get one. But I would highly recommend that you talk to a family lawyer to see if it's the right thing for you.

Also, the prenup can tie you down as much as you think it will ensure your security, he could say that you only get 200K and thats the limit, which in 20 years will be worth less than it is now.

I don't think I could sign a prenup for anyone because if I am marrying you and putting up with you for the rest of our lives, if something happens and we have mutual things together, its my right to take my half of everything. Not for someone else to come enjoy what should have been mine. With that said if I was the wealthy maybe I would want my FH to sign it therefore I wont criticize its a sticky situation.