Potluck reception dinner

Buckle up..

[Look through old threads to see how this topic typically goes down.]

Please no.

Why are you dead set on having your guests pay for your reception?

How many guests are you having?

I'd just hire a caterer. Your meal will be more cohesive, you know you will have enough food to feed everyone, and your guests aren't bearing the cost of feeding everyone on your wedding day. Oh, and you know it was made fresh and safely and not at someone's house who lets the cat walk on the counter.

Use the forums search bar for "potluck" on here. It'll pull up more than a few threads regarding that topic. The most recent was probably just last week. They're common questions and comments are very direct and opinionated.

Why would you ask a guest to bring their own food?

Regular users here have a hard time accepting the fact that there are still areas where potlucks are common place, even for weddings. There was a thread confirming this just a couple of days ago.
The key thing for you is " Are potluck weddings common where you live?" If yes, go right ahead. If not, what made you decide it's appropriate to make your guests cater your wedding?

View Quoted Comment Potlucks are very common where I live. People are having potlucks get togethers left and right.

Never have I been to a wedding where guests have to supply the food for someone elses wedding.

Some feedback would be to avoid this. Cut the guest list, hire a caterer, or go to a restaurant.

So no, that is not the key question to ask here.

The only question to ask is how your reception will be a thank you to your guests when they are having to feed everyone else?

View Quoted Comment

Granted, that is your situation. I was not referring to your situation. As I said, there are areas where potluck weddings are held.

I won’t touch the etiquette part as others already have but are you sure this is something your venue even allows? Most require a licensed caterer with liability insurance.

I have been to a wedding that was set up in a potluck style, but the bride had asked her aunts/uncles to make food. They did not make enough of somethings for everyone who attended to get some and other things had WAAAYYYY too much (thinking that more people would eat the stuff they made a lot of). And I come from a place where potlucks are a common thing (not at weddings but at other events). I would strongly suggest reconsidering and getting a caterer for some place that is inexpensive (like Italian or BBQ). You run into the problem of having people saying they will bring the same things and no one wanting to bring something else, like everyone signs up for a side and no one signs up for a main dish. You also don't know who is making things fresh or what is going to be made long ahead of time and then chance going stale. Where are you going to keep all the food during the ceremony? Who is going to set up all of the food? What happens when you have guests who don't get something because small quantities were made? Just some things to think about if you are truly set on potluck.

Have a restaurant cater, so much easier on everyone; less stress on you trying to organize it.

View Quoted Comment Of course there's always areas where potluck weddings occur. There are even some that happen in my area. But why, in the land of abundant potlucks, have I never attended or met someone who has attended a potluck wedding? Because they honestly do not work well at weddings when you're inviting a large number of people.

View Quoted Comment They definitely do not work out well. I have attended one which was not a pleasant experience.

Have a potluck wedding, make it BYOB, ask your parents to find you a free space to have it at or ask them to pay for it, don't bother with chairs, people can stand, have a honeymoon fund and a money jar.

Your guests will love it. Yep.

I know as you can see from above this isn’t really a good idea. I would literally cut my list down before I’d ask people to supply food. If you’re asking them to supply food please include a **in lieu of a gift please bring a dish.
Again as you can see many people would probably be offended that you’re asking them to bring something. I know it’s a bummer because it’s what you really wanted but the reception is more about thanking your guests for joining you. Cut costs in another area- food is a major factor in how people will remember your wedding. I hate to give negative feedback bc I know how I feel when i get negative feedback. However, feedback is honest and this is honestly not a good idea, this is your wedding not a birthday or small get together.

A friend of mine had a potluck reception. The highlight was that someone brought a chick fil a tray.
Negatives:

1. Sister is allergic to dairy and had no idea what was in half the food.
2. I am immune-compromised so having a bunch of random people bringing food they prepared and having it sit out in the open was literally a threat to my health.
3. It did not feel like a wedding, but like a church picnic. Which meant that while it was fun like a picnic, it really wasn’t special.

Ummmm... first of all I wouldn’t eat. You don’t know who has cats or dogs, what if your allergic and their hair floats into the food? What if you have food allergies, how do you know what you can eat? How do you know any one of these many people knows how to keep large quantities of food at the correct temperature so that people don’t get sick? What do you do when you get sued because someone got food poisoning?

If if you have your mind set on this then go ahead. I feel sorry for your guests as the reception is meant to thank them for attending your wedding.... now your making them work to watch you get married? That is hosting at its finest.

Instead of simply stating this is a terrible idea:

Consider the size of your guest list. How does this work if it’s a large group? Unless you get 1 person making like 4 trays of the same dish , everyone is forced to eat different things? Like, Aunt Jenny walked by with a delightful looking piece of lasagna. So that’s what I’m planning to get. But when it’s my turn to get food, the lasagna’s all gone. Now I’m stuck with the dry baked ziti, and super disappointed about it. Dishes become random so it’s hard to get a well balanced meal. I often don’t trust most meat dishes prepared by people I don’t know so potlucks for me end up like 2 pastas and some cheesy potatoes (great way to get a
stomach ache). Also there are some people in my family I KNOW another to trust food from. My great aunt served my uncle pot roast that his mother had made. Only problem was ...his mother had been dead for like 7 years (this is an actual true story. You never put anything in your mouth in that house without checking the date on it first).
What about guests who are traveling, and those who don’t have the time or money to prepare a dish? Or others that feel obligated to contribute.

When i I was a kid someone explained the term potluck to me by saying “they call it a potLUCK cuz only the lucky ones get the good stuff and don’t get sick”

as a food allergy sufferer, potlucks are literally my worst nightmare. I generally don’t know what anything is so have to track down someone I know/trust and verify and be sure to only eat the thing they made. Even with ingredient lists, I don’t know if the cooks are careful about cross contamination. So it’s stressful and I just pick a little.

Otber things to consider are how to keep dishes hot? If everyone’s bringing their own crock pot, are there enough outlets? If they’re just bringing a tray, does it need to go in the fridge during the ceremony (is there space) , does it need to get reheated (is there space)? There are so many questions and complicated details that go into the potluck coordination , I just don’t see how it is worth the stress on your wedding day