postponing wedding?

If you wait till you have enough money to do it whos to say you'll ever be able to afford the dream wedding?

like when ppl say... "we want to wait to have kids till we are totally financinally stable"

well whos to say you'll ever be financilly stable? you know?

if you wait who knows how long it will be before you are able to get married...

try to keep it, you'd hate to lose all the deposites.

Yea I say try to keep it. I am almost sure that there will be a fee applied to change the date. If there isn't then postpone.

However If you have the majority of the stuff paid for, try having something intimate. Ultimately you know what you are capable of handling. I lost my job in the beginning of planning and my family convinced me to continue... No regrets...yet. But like the previous poster said. When will it ever be the right name to spend money on a wedding? Hope you find something to work in your best interest.

Read all of your contracts and see if you will be losing or charged fees for rebooking.

I'd say scale back and have a small cocktail party , you can speak to your vendors and I'm sure they would be willing to give creative input for a fun event at a realistic fee.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I should have already been married, but we had to postpone. My FH had lost his job and although he is working now, we are still trying to catch up. We decided that no matter what, we are getting married and we have finally reset a date. We'll do what we have to do, I might not be able to have real flowers or a professional photographer, but I do have family and friends who are good with fake flower and who can take an awesome picture and my mom is making my dress.

It was rough at first postponing the wedding, but I'm glad that we did, and I'm even happier this time around making the plans!

I am very sorry to hear about your jobs. Everyone I come in contact with seems to be in the same situation.

I guess I would weigh the decision out with the pro's and con's of waiting with cutting back.

I happen to be on the gulf coast of Florida and a lot of couples in your same situation decided to have a destination wedding on the beach at sunset. We do about 10 per month ourselves so multiply that!

They either come alone or bring a few family or friends, get a hotel nearby, they hire myself with a one hour photography package with the pic's on a cd

They have their wedding on the beach, we take a lot of pic's, they go out to dinner and spend a few days on the beach as a honeymoon.

They then wait until they get back home get some money saved and have the reception. They use the photo's as a slide show during the reception so the guests back home can see the ceremony.

So far I rec'd only positive feedback from the couples with no regrets.

Just another option!

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can understand what you are going through, though. I lost my job last summer and FH lost his in late January! Right in the middle of planning our wedding. We had to step back, regroup and rethink some things. We're still having our wedding in December but we scaled it back a lot. It's hard to do that, and some people's feelings will be hurt if you scale the guest list (we had to). Instead of a huge reception, we're just having a dessert bar, cake and punch, like in the 'old' days, lol. I hate having to do it, but honestly, you do what you have to do. I would check the contracts and see what they say and if there will be a charge to cancel and you've paid the venue, then go ahead with your plans, just scale it back to where you and FH are comfortable financialy on the planning.

I am so sorry!!! I would have to agree with Julybride. Maybe just keep the date and have a renewal of vows later. I just went to a renewal of vows a few months ago. They had just gotten married 2 years ago and couldn't have the wedding that they really wanted but really wanted to be married. My friend said she is happy they did it that way. Just do what is in your heart. Best of luck

I'm soo. sorry , I feel your pain I got engaged over 2 years ago, and I set my date for 10-3-09 so we would have 2 years to come up with the $ for our dream wedding. Then, July 08' I got laid off, and have been on unemployment ever since.. It sucks, i hope everything goes well with your FH job.. But I would try to scale down the menu, i went to a cocktail & hor'duerve wedding a few years back, and honestly it was the best wedding i had ever been too, everyone danced, drank, everyone was making toasts to the bride & groom all afternoon, because appetizers can be filling & cost a lot less, they served them the whole time on small plates, it was very well catered & it was much more relaxed for the bride & groom.. I hope this helps in your decision best Wishes!

I definitely feel you on this one - FH and I both have jobs, but I'm a full time student and can't work much and he doesn't make much at all (we would basically be right above welfare). I refuse to drop out of school, and he is trying to become a police officer, but for one reason or another he never makes it. The last testing he went to I had a meltdown after finding out that he didn't pass on to the next phase. Granted, everyone was telling us that we would get it this round, to the point where right before he called his mom asked if she thought FH would be up for apartment shopping when he got back (and I want nothing more than to move in with him). I kind of lost it and started talking about postponing the wedding. It's a really hard spot to be in - logically it makes sense to wait, but morally, marriage isn't about everything being perfect, it's about being together no matter what.

Our story similar my FW's mom backed out of paying for the wedding because she had to take a HUGE paycut, she actually had to file bankruptcy also. We just scaled down our wedding ALOT and are doing alot of the stuff ourselves...and of course paying for it ourselves. If u wanna be married, get married have a small ceremony and when money allows u can have a renewal of vows if u want.

I am so sorry to hear about this. I feel like we're in the same boat too. My FH took a paycut earlier this year and I'm looking for a job. It just seems like there's no money to go towards this. I do know that it's not wise to dump a whole lot of money into credit cards and marry into debt. Good luck to you both.

Thanks everyone for your support. Our wedding was only going to be 30 people....and cost about $5-6000. I've tried to do things inexpensively - silk flowers, potted plants for centerpieces, minimal decorations (the wedding was to be outside at a park overlooking a lake). Initially FH was adamant that we have a meal (even though we're getting married mid-afternoon). Maybe we can just do drinks and appetizers....that or buy all the food (we were doing a BBQ theme) at Costco and do it ourselves. Just hate the thought of one of our guests having to man the grill.

Again, thank you all...I wish you all the best with your own plans! And I'll keep you posted.

Do it! I can tell you from experience you will not regret it. A year ago my fiance and I talked about getting married LAST August. We had nothing....no money, my relationships with my family were strained. We waited, discussed it again in February, decided on this August and we now are able to have the wedding we always dreamed of. I know, its hard....you want it so bad....so did I...believe me I had nothing else going for me at the time...but now, I know we did the right thing and that year flew by. Keep assembling a list of ideas....you will be doubly ready when the time is right. Good luck!

There are definite pros and cons to both sides. However, you really can have a beautiful wedding on a budget. We did! There is a page on Margaret's web-site with an article on some of the ideas that worked for us. Please take a look at:

http://hudsonvalleyharpist.webs.com/anaffordablewedding.htm

This is a great forum and you have had some wonderful responses on both sides of the question. We know you will ultimately make the right decision. If you decide to delay, don't worry, time goes by much faster than you think! Your wedding will be here before you know it!

Best wishes for a wonderful wedding and a wonderful life together.

Margaret and Bill Sneddon

The Hudson Heights Duo - Harp and Flute

New York, NY

www.HudsonHtsDuo.com

If you decide to do the food yourselves consider hiring someone just to keep things warm and buffet filled. I had two people volunteer to run the food and hired one person from a diner we frequent for $50. We had food ready and warmimg, they took over when we went to get ready, kept the buffet stocked, broke everything down, packaged leftovers and cleaned up.

I'm sorry to here that FMrsHan, I had that happen to me 2 years ago, venue deposits done started planning then we had 2 1/4 (baby was 6 months old) family members that needed to move in, one from my side and baby and mom from his side (we had already bought our home), so we postponed it for the next year. We did go to the court house to get married before the new date, then my hubby got sick, real sick so we had to cancel and lost our deposits......noooowwww (with a big sigh) I am praying to God that we can do it in April 2011. I have become more addicted to wedding stuff more then ever now lol. Most places will let you change the date once, but after that they keep the money. I understand how you feel......it is heartbreaking to say the least. Talk to your venues and see what they say....good luck