Postponed Wedding Date - Mixed Emotions

Lots of ladies on here have pushed back their dates due to finances. I have to say I've been very fortunate. My dad just sent me some money which was totally unexpected. But FH and I did not want to have a long engagement. So once we set our date, I was determined to do what I could on what we had some hook or crook lol. We just want to be married. But you know what you have to do. Just be very disciplined in your spending habits and try to do as much as you can on your own to save money. If you have already picked your colors and such you can do things little by little. You have plenty of time now to work on your stuff

Thank you I am going to do what I have to do as you said! In his culture the groom side handles everything but in mine the bride dad pays for it. I felt bad because I could not fullfil my end because my dad passed away 3 years ago in Jan coming up so thinking about that also puts a damper in everything. But I am being strong and will have the wedding I want ^_^

Hi soontobeMrs sooo sorry about your postpronement how ever look on the bright side your're still getting married just going to take a little longer stick in there girl, I do understand that things happen like me I was thinking about doing the same thing because we had to dip in our savings for the wedding but we manage to get back on track, maybe you could take a little money from your pay check and do little things thats how I did just got a little at a time until I had what I want so now we don't have so much to do it may seem like it take forever to do but once you see that things a finally coming in place you will feel so much better good luck to you and if there is anything I can do let me know and just know that it will work out just fine

Girl.....I know that feelin & it sucks!!!! Me and FH had go into it DEEP & I said something to "hit him below the belt" cause I always have to have the last word! It took a good week or so to talk again & then he suggested that we postpone the wedding for another year.......that hurt!!!! He's theory was that since we got engaged all we've done is argue over the dumbest stuff, especially finances, & needed a do-over...I was like "a whole year???" We talked and talked....he gave me his reasons...I gave him mine.....we talked and talked and talked some more. Eventually, we met eye to eye and decided to keep the orginal plan.

The best advice I could give to you is to keep talking, maybe you could scale back your budget, guest list...etc so that things could be a little more manageable...or if you want to keep the original date, elope or go to city hall and have a mni-honeymoon & then the following year have the blow out wedding you've always wanted. I hope this helps...I'll check back!

SoontobeMrs I totally understand what you are going thru! FH lives in the UK and will be immigrating to the US. Which took a chunk out of our savings not to mention two yrs of flying back and forth to the UK and US so money is tight.

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We were still set on planning a wedding but the stress was just too much! Add to that we MUST be married within 3 months of him entering the country!

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Long story short we decided to have an intimate ceremony with just us and the minister and then have our dream wedding on the beach a year later. At first I was disappointed because this was not what I had in mind, but once I accepted it and weighed it I (we) felt relieved that we would be able to be together as soon as possible and still have our dream wedding! So for us it totally worked in the end!

I totally know/understand how you feel. We have pushed our date back twice now due to financial problems. Finally we decided to give in and take out a loan/use some of his 401 K. Hopefully it all works out for you with this date :-).

Thank you girls so much for your input. This thing is kind of ruff but like I said I do understand why we decided to move the wedding back a year and that will give us more time to save.

@ Shelia -- thank you your always so sweet and helpful

@ His Mrs. P -- I know I like to have the last word also ^_^ but this time I did understand and didnt want to add more stress on him either because he is willing to do what ever it takes to give me the wedding I want so pushing the date out is good so that I will have more time to save and help out with expenses also

@ Dream Come True -- He did mention having the smaller ceremony and then a bigger one later but I guess I was looking forward to the one we had planned but ya know I prayed about it and been praying about it and will allow it to go where it may it will work out ^_^

@ JJ -- I so understand that I am trying not to use the 401k but if it comes down to it thats what we would have to do

--- Congrats to you all and thank you so much --

If you feel strongly about waiting to have your dream wedding or if you think you would have any regret at having a smaller wedding just wait and have the wedding you really want! You do not want to be looking back with regret!

I know how you feel. We did the same thing. Talked about doing it again, but no matter what, it's going to happen. I don't care if I serve peanut butter and jelly crackers! lol... No, it's not that bad... I don't think! There were 2 things that kept me going. Good things come to those who wait, and everything happens for a reason.

Good luck to you!

I understand where you are coming from. I haven't changed it yet but my wedding is also being pushed back a whole year and then some. I am very upset about it because i was all excited and happy and now nothing. It does hurt a lot but the best thing you can do is look forward to the new wedding date and hope that it doesn't get pushed back further. At least that is what I am doing.

We're living it!

From Aug until right before Thanksgiving we were on that planning train just chugging along. Both stressed in our own little way because we both know we want it to be special. It's sad to say that special doesn't come cheap, even if you DIY. With no real cretaive juices flowing our day was = to expensive. Here in NYC it's a joke if you think you can spend less than $20,000 and if you do, it's usually just you and the minister!

At any rate, we went from 10-10-10 to ?. We've talked about Aug. 2011, but who knows. Right now it's postponed until...... as we try to save.

I totally understand...we are at the point that we are either going to have the wedding WHEN we planned but not at all LIKE we planned or we will be postponing and that breaks my heart. Everyone keeps telling us to just get married and have a big wedding later but for us this would just feel weird since we would already be married and that is the important part. But at the same time putting off the wedding delays other life plans for us so we are still trying to decide. You have to do whats right for you and it seems like you are. That is something to be proud of as some people have a hard time overlooking what they want to see what is actually best. And as DCT said you don't want to do anything that you will look back on and regret. Good luck to you and everyone else that is having these issues right now.

Speaking from someone that had a big wedding on a smaller budget, it can be done. However, certain areas must be sacrificed to accommodate everyone. Because of all the craziness and unsupportiveness of family members, if I had known then what I know now, especially since I was the first to get married in my immediate family, I would have eloped and then had a simple reception. I would have spent the money on a down payment on a new car, longer honeymoon, or a bling here and there. ;p Of course, if I didn't have the ceremony at all without knowing how it actually turned out, well I'm sure I would have regrets too. What a double edged sword. Maybe if my sisters had gotten married first, then I would not have had so much pressure and could have had a more intimate wedding.