Post Wedding Brunch if Not Invited to Wedding

I guess it would depend on how close I was to the person if I attended or not. If I'm close to them I would understand that they may not have had the space or $$ to invite me to their wedding and I would go and bring a gift. If it's just an acquaintance that I'm not close to I probably would not go but send them a card wishing them well.

Okay, this may be a Duh moment on my part, but I haven't been here that long. What is "trolling"?

Hi Nay! Welcome to WW!

Check out the Welcome Post sticky here. It'll give you a rundown on things including a "troll" definition. https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

Thanks Jac-Jac Attack

ETA: Okay, now I get it. Thanks.

I am sorry if I did something that made it look like I was "trolling", but believe me, this is a real situation.

As far as the brunch goes, it will be held at the bride's parents' house. I will know about 25 others at the brunch, and I would say that most of them are also not invited to the wedding.

There was another situation that popped up today. Apparently a second batch of invitations were sent out today to a few of us, because some of the guests on the "A" list are not able to attend. I wasn't aware that people did this as well. This whole situation continues to bother me, and I am still on the fence about attending. And this is not a DW or a small intimate ceremony either. I heard that there will be 200 at the wedding.

Mary, you didn't do anything wrong. Some people are just extra paranoid after a recent batch of fake accounts.

I don't care for B lists for this reason. I understand you can't invite everyone due to budget or space restrictions, but I personally would rather not be invited at all in that case. Just my opinion. But at least you're invited to the wedding now?

Would you want to attend the wedding if you were on the A list? Do the bride or groom have very large families? Are parents paying and therefore dictated the guest list (invited their friends over the couples')? Depending on the answers, I would attend the wedding. I still think it's rude to invite someone to a post wedding brunch if they weren't invited to the wedding. Though now I guess you were invited. Let us know what you decide.

I could see myself being offended by this invitation because (depending on my relationship with the couple), I might feel like this is a "pity" invitation (red-headed step child invitation, if you will (no offense to red heads or step children, of course!)). But you never know why you weren't invited and I think you should focus on the fact that you were invited to the brunch because they want to celebrate with you.

I also agree with others that you should bring a small gift.

Okay -here's a question related to this. Let's say the bride's parents are hosting a fancy wedding brunch at a country club two weeks after the wedding. It's in the bride's hometown, far away from where she lives and where the wedding will be. It's a very nice brunch, probably $50-$60/plate.

Two questions: 1) For a guest: do you bring a gift?

2) Now totally forget about question #1, and turn to the planning of the event. Wouldn't it be inappropriate to include the bride/groom wedding registry info in the brunch invitation? I mean, if some people want to be proactive and ask about a registry, great, they'll find out. But to include it when it's just a brunch (and they aren't invited to the wedding) is tacky, no?

Thanks!!

I tried to upload a pic so you know I'm not a troll but it didn't hold on my profile. Whatevs. Maybe I'll do it later. (troll paranoid people! )

I would go. Free food and alcohol...why not? I'd prob bring a card & bottle of wine.

View Quoted Comment I totally agree with you. We are getting married September 27th 2018 and we can only afford 100 guest. And we both have judge families I was considering doing either a pre or post reception inviting everyone but after reading this I’m like why bother

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Unless I really loved this person, I would not be attending either of these events. We all know weddings are expensive and you cannot invite everyone you would like but that is life and I wish people would just leave it at that. I have been a guest at a close friend's tiered reception - I would never say it to them but my feelings were absolutely hurt that I was not welcome at the ceremony (which happened on a public street so literally strangers got to see my friends get married) and after flying to NYC and staying in an expensive hotel I still had to buy my own dinner the night of their wedding. I loved these people A LOT so I went and will never say anything to them but it still bothers me. It just rubs e the wrong way to be a second thought.

It is always inappropriate and gift-grabby to include a registry in an invitation, with the possible exception of an invitation to a shower.

I would go, and I would bring a card or very small gift. Couples can't always include everyone they want at the wedding (expenses, limited space), but a post-wedding brunch is a nice way to let everyone know they're thought of. A while back, our neighbor's daughter had a small wedding with only relatives and close friends of the bride and groom's. The next day, our neighbor hosted a brunch and included all the neighbors on our street. We had a lovely time getting together, and it was an opportunity to share our friends' joy and congratulate the couple. We brought two bottles of wine--one for the newlyweds and one for our hosts.

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I don't know what a judge family is, but do it if the idea feels good. If anyone is offended by the gesture, they won't come. That's not on you.