Post Wedding Brunch if Not Invited to Wedding

I would give a small gift of 20-30 dollar value. If they're taking you out to lunch as a courtesy.

We are having a local welcome home reception after our DW and inviting about 100+ people who will not be invited to the actual wedding. We will be making note of *no gifts* on the invite. In your case, bring something small so all your bases are covered.

I wouldn't even go, frankly.

At first I was hurt when I didn't receive and invitation, and decided I wouldn't go. I had never heard of inviting someone to a post wedding brunch that you didn't invite to the wedding. But there will be many old friends and family there that I haven't seen in awhile, so part of me wants to go. I appreciate all of the feedback I am getting so far from this post.

@celia, I'm curious why you wouldn't go? Not every wedding can accommodate every person you'd prefer to invite in a perfect scenario. It doesn't mean you don't want the opportunity to celebrate at a different time/or place. Anyone who takes that type of attitude regarding our local post DW party is going to miss a heck of a great time.

I can understand what the bride and groom struggled with, sometimes venues only give you a certain capacity. If you do count extended family that literally already brings you to 100 guests. They probably felt really bad about not being able to invite everyone. I would go and let them know it was all good.

OMG enough with the troll paranoia. Even if threads sound like they could be trolling (this one does not), I either ignore it or give them the benefit of doubt. Why chance scaring away new people? Some situations are honestly weird (not this one).

IMO, a post wedding brunch is different than an at home reception. I might attend, but I wouldn't give a gift.

Hmmm, I would definitely bring a card.

Can you give us more details about the brunch? Where is it?

I would bring a smaller gift than what I would if I were invited to the wedding.

Personally I would take a gift, I think it extremely kind and thoughtful of them to have a post wedding brunch for people she could not accommodate at the wedding, the could have easily just done nothing for guest they were unable to invite due to budget or venue restrictions.

I'm curious as to why this is considered trolling AND why one wouldn't attend this brunch. IMO, it's perfectly acceptable to have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception. The only scenario that ISN'T okay is inviting people to the ceremony and/or to the "dancing", but not to whatever meal is being offered.

Mary, I would attend and bring a card, possibly a small gift as well.

I wouldn't be offended, they're obviously trying to include those people they couldn't, and we all know there are people we'd love to invite, but just can't.

I would bring a card, and maybe a small gift, especially if they are family that I like, and love. If you're such extended family that you don't know them too well, the card is enough.

One isn't even required to bring a gift to a wedding.

People probably think it's trolling because of that one a few weeks ago, with the wedding in a park. This one happens to read the same way in the beginning.

OP, on behalf of all of us, I apologize for the suspicion of you possibly being a troll. We love newbies! We just recently had a slew of actual trolls, all of whom had one star, the double ring avatar, and would just post random stuff to get us wound up.

It sounds like you have a legitimate question, and we would love to have you stay, if you think you'd like to. Please do change your avatar to something more recognizable; this way, we will see you as you when you post, and not a generic ring avatar, which is what the trolls use.

Oh, and I'd go to the brunch and take a card, and perhaps a small, symbolic gift, but nothing more than $30 or so.

This starts out nothing like the wedding in the park. Mary said she was INVITED to the brunch.

Mary, if you feel comfortable attending, go. If it were me I'd bring a card and small gift.

Also, welcome to WW. We hope that you stick around. Please consider updating your avatar to something that uniquely identifies you. Check out this link that will show you how. https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

Well, it's the vibe I got, considering that it's a ring avatar with one star, and it's not "Hey, I'm getting married," but "Hey, I have a question about someone else's wedding." I know I wasn't the only one who had that knee-jerk reaction, either.

Whatever; it doesn't matter. Mary is getting the help she asked for now.

Mary - stick around. We have our guards up because of a few spammers, fakers and trollers in the past.

IMO - I think it's still a nice gesture. I'm so glad the bride was upfront and honest with you. She WANTED you to be there at the wedding, but logistically and financially just couldn't. So instead, she is still offering to celebrate with you and still paying for your brunch. I'd still go, bring a card and a small gift. Good luck!

OMG y'all killing the game with the trolling drama..

Anywho I would go, bring a card with a gift card in it or cash. Maybe something with no more than a $40 value? I wouldn't be offended in the least.

I for one am so glad I am almost married. All of this what is acceptable and not acceptable and feeling like you are inconsiderate because you can't invite everyone. Then trying to include those you wish you had been able to invite by doing something else and then that comes with it's own set of rules as well is driving me bananas! Weddings that should be just about two people in love joining together as one surrounded by their loved ones has turned into such a convoluted experience it's a wonder everybody doesn't just run to the JP and be done with it.

Sorry just had to vent :-(

I wouldn't host a post wedding day brunch that included anyone other than people who attended the wedding (and I don't think I'd attend one either). Maybe I'm just ultra-sensitive. You know how you don't want any of the B List invitees to know that they were on the B List? Why? Because it says you didn't make the A List. A post wedding day brunch invitation that wasn't attached to a wedding invitation tells me I'm either a B Lister or C Lister. Just my opinion.

This says:

"You aren't close enough to me to go to the wedding, but we still want a gift from you so here's your opportunity"

I would decline.... I would've rather seen no invite at all.