(POSSIBLE TACKY ALERT) DIY Bridal Shower

Can you talk to FMIL?

Hm... I may be wrong, but I don't think you really can ask them to. Usually the maid of honor/bridemaids will throw you a shower, but it may be someone else (a family member NOT your mother or FH's mother--like an aunt or something, or a woman from church, etc). You still have more than a year until your wedding so it may just be too soon for them to be thinking about it.

Ask ur maid of honor...i was thinking of throwing my own if all else fails....if I have one

If i really had no one that was willing to do it, plus the fact that i am a picky in what i want. I would throw it myself. Etiquette is ridiculous sometimes. I swear you would think we were living in the 19th century with the kind of etiquette we are suppose to live up to. If you throw it yourself your guaranteed to have one you really like.

Yes it is really tacky. I would straight out give your maid of honor a list and say please throw me a wedding shower I would really aprreciate it, here is a list of the people invited to the wedding with their adresses, here is some stamps. If you need help with anything please call me and I will help, but I need you do to this for me, I will pay for food if needed. xo

I can understand being disappointed, I'm sorry. But you absolutely cannot plan your own shower or ask someone to do it for you. It comes across as gift-grabby. Plus the shower is meant to be a gesture someone makes for you. It's just really strange if you make that gesture to yourself.

I agree with Kathleen, I think your wedding is just so far in advance that people aren't thinking about it yet. My shower was just Saturday, 5 weeks before my wedding. My BMs started planning it 4-6 months ago, and that's only b/c there were plane tickets involved.

Just be patient. If someone asks you about a shower or says they hope you have one, just say, "Me too, but nobody has offered to host it yet," and maybe someone will get the hint.

You could plant the seed with your FH, and maybe he could say something to his family. But really, someone has to offer.

A bridal shower is one of the activities that I'm looking forward to. Bump the Bachelorette Party! Problem is my bridal party has never been bridesmaids before so I have kinda stepped in and told them what I wanted. I know traditionally, it should be a surprise but if,you have semiclueless bridesmaids like mines, u should make your comments known! You deserve a bridal shower; its apart of all the bridal festivities!!! I would causally mention it to them and see what they say and go from there. I want a shower not just for myself but I'm excited about having all my friends,together, play games and have fun. Good Luck

Talk to your MOH, If she is important in your life to have that honour she will not think twice about it.

Well, I'm the odd man out. I'm planning on throwing myself a bridal shower in the town I'm living in. All my BM are in my home town, but i have a lot of friends here i would like to celebrate with. One of my friends offered to help me throw it together, and we will probably be doing it at either her place or my FMIL place, but neither of them can afford the cost of throwing it, so i am paying for it.

I think you can plan it yourself, as long as you have someone else willing to host it. I would guess you BM aren't doing it because they don't want to spend the time and money to put it together, but if you did all the work and had them host it i say it's fine. Plus I would maybe pass the word that gifts are not necessarily. But i am clearly in the minority here.

I know it's a bit early to even be thinking about it but it's already come up from MOH she's planning the Bachelorette and she's making a big deal out of it and she called me today and asked who is throwing the shower, cause she didn't want any schedualling conflicts. I told her no one has said anything yet...but it's early now I'm getting emails from people asking when and where the shower is going to be... everyone has suggestions on who should throw it but no one wants to step up. I'm having flash backs to my pregnancy when I was on bed rest and tearing my hair out about a shower that ended up never happening, because I was on bed rest, and no one wanted to step up...FMIL works crazy long hours and if she's not at her job she's helping FFIL at his shop. She barely has time to sleep let alone plan anything I'm sure if she had time she would but I dont think the woman has had a day off in four years.

I agree with almost everyone- talk to your MOH or FMIL. A friend of mine had a baby shower thrown for her by telling us that she was really sad that her husband's fam hadn't offered, and one of us stepped up and just said "We'll do it!" Your BMs and MOH probably just aren't thinking, so they won't mind a simple request from you. Definitely offer to help pay for food etc!

You go Shellie. Defying tradition and being a rebel. Rock on. I am sure your shower will be awesome.

I think it's one thing to help with the cost of your shower and help your hostess with details. But it's another thing to totally throw your own party.

I think you could organize something that wasn't a "shower" - like a spa day or a luncheon or tea or something. Just so you can celebrate with people. But the reason it's rude to throw your own shower is that people are expected to bring gifts to showers. You can't ask a bunch of people to show up and bring you gifts. Someone needs to do that on your behalf.

Your MOH is obviously excited about the bachelorette party, which is great. If people are suggesting other people throw the shower, I would just say, "Oh, you think Suzy should do it? Here's her email address/phone number, do you guys want to talk about it?"

We're not entitled to showers and b-parties. Some people don't have them. And that's 100% okay.

This is one of those things that is tacky mostly because it is an optional thing that other people are supposed to do for you because they want to. There is no requirement that says everyone should have a shower especially if you are going to have a bachelorette party and even that is optional. So, yeah I don't think it'll look good if you ask for one. It will come off as you wanting attention and gifts. Why not wait and do something special for the day after your wedding? Like invite a bunch of your guests to brunch.

Those are my feelings on the matter, but if you can't fight the compulsion, just make sure you keep the guest list pretty small and intimate. A girl I get along with but am not really friends with from high school threw her own baby shower, and invited anyone she knew well enough in our hometown via facebook. Some of us she never even talks to, and it did come off as just wanting gifts. Especially after we found out it was her second shower.

I would say to ask your MOH or FMIL if they were planning on throwing you a shower and if they say no, why not host it yourselt. I planned, paid for and hosted my baby shower because no one else wanted to do it. It ended up being expensive but it was worth it to me. If you want a shower and no one wants to plan it by all means do it.

I think it would be tackier to throw one yourself than to have FMIL or your own mother throw one. I can understand why it is tacky to throw one for yourself, but still don't get why it is bad for one of the mom's to throw you one. Ah well.

I helped plan/pay for mine. My moh is my sister who doesn't have a lot of money, so I didn't mind because I really wanted my friends and family to get together before the wedding.

I would casually mention that you have come upon some fun bridal shower games, food ideas, and decorations if they need help planning one.

I helped plan/pay for mine. My moh is my sister who doesn't have a lot of money, so I didn't mind because I really wanted my friends and family to get together before the wedding.

I would casually mention that you have come upon some fun bridal shower games, food ideas, and decorations if they need help planning one.

I helped plan/pay for mine. My moh is my sister who doesn't have a lot of money, so I didn't mind because I really wanted my friends and family to get together before the wedding.

I would casually mention that you have come upon some fun bridal shower games, food ideas, and decorations if they need help planning one.

I agree with Kris, it's in poor form to host your own shower. I think her suggestions are the best way to approach this issue.

It's so far out and yes I know you mentioned others are asking but there is well over a year for your group to get one put together. I would let your FH and mother know you would really like one, start dropping hints and hope for the best.

If one isn't planned then throw a casual get together a few weeks before the wedding but don't call it a shower.

http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/new-times-new-traditions/129-who-can-host-a-shower