Politics are hurting my marriage

You are not alone! My husband and I do not agree on a lot of things in politics but I knew this before. Thankfully he did not vote for Trump but we had many heated arguments as politics took the forefront these past few months. It drove me mad but at the end of the day, he did listen to what I had to say I think and never pushed me. Good luck with counseling!

I definitely think counseling could help!

I agree that it sounds like a huge point of tension is that your life's work is helping the same people he despises. Like, he's mad about paying taxes to support people....but you literally work your butt off to support those people (and that work contributes to the household funds). So that seems like he is being very blind to your expertise. He should treat you as the ultimate authority on the value of low-income people!!

But I'm a very logical person, and the logic I see here is this: If you work out what percentage of federal, state, and local taxes go to supporting low-income families, you can see exactly what dollar amount of your personal household taxes are being spent that way. Show him that number (I bet it will be low). And compare it to how much you make at your social working job. My guess is, your earnings offset the taxes. Probably by a huge amount. So you can just tell him, don't even worry about it, don't be mad about those taxes - I've got it covered! Probably when he sees the low percentage of his taxes that are going to that work in the first place, he won't have a leg to stand on. What I found is, it's 8%. Military spending is twice that. So in terms of which of you two is more supported by your taxes, it's him! By a factor of two! So he can just shush!

Thats what i was thinking too. If he understands just how deep certain things are for her as a black woman. Not to be rude, but for me thats a huge reason why i never found interest in men outside of my race/culture. Its hard. Its hard to understand certain things and for some people they grew up certain ways, different ways so clashing over things that are close to your heart, things that mean a lot to you and you have two different views can be really hard. Praying for you to have the happiness you deserve.

Ouch... that's def a red flag! I don't know, it sound much deeper and he's not admitting it. The fact that you both have had multiple experiences with this being an issue and he still wants to discuss it knowing its a argument starter sounds like he doesn't care to not argue, and that whatever deeper rooted feelings he has about this wont go away. Ugh! I hate the sound of this. So sorry love.

I agree with you down to every detail you said!

Completely agree. The fact that he KNOWS this is a tension / argument conversation and even after discussing the fact that this shouldn't be brought up anymore he still does. And says he cant be told what to discuss in his own home... *she said that on a comment* Very concerning. Something like this is a really hard one. Especially with her being a black woman and him being white. Bc there's something else going on here that he's not saying. That sucks to be going through something like that.

Wishing you the best beautiful! You do whatever is best for your soul!

Very sweet, honest and intelligent comment. Love this.