politely ask guests not to bring more guests

We are dealing with the same dilemma. We think we found a way to do it. One our RSVP cards we are filling out a spot on each one that says how many spots are reserved for them at our wedding instead of letting them fill out that part themselves.

I would add the following line to your RSVP card :

2 adult seats have been reserved in your honor

_ of 2 adults attended

_ of 2 declining

If they write in all the extra people I would then call explain that the invite was only for them and you won't be able to accomodate the extra guests. Hopefully they can still attend if not you will see them another time.

Welcome to WW, Christa! You have a couple of options. Are you having an adult only wedding? Be sure to note on the RSVP/invitation that it is adults only, if that's the case. On your RSVP cards, beneath the name line, put a spot that says "___ of ____ (adult) seats have been reserved in your honor." You will in the second line, with 2 seats or however many for each guest.

Below that, I also suggest adding lines that say "___ of ___ accept / ___ of ___ decline" to further reinforce that only two people are invited. One bride even pre-filled out the names of guests to reinforce it even further!

Finally, if anyone does RSVP for more than what they were allotted, take care of it quickly! "I'm sorry, but due to space limitations, we've only reserved enough seats for you and your wife, so we won't be able to accommodate your children. Will you still be able to make it?" Along those lines.

Oh, and I hope you'll stick around and update your avatar (the rings) to any unique picture so we can remember you when we help you in the future! This post tells you how to do that and more about the forums: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/welcome-to-the-weddingwire-forums-please-read-if-you-are-new/b433c40c1a62b96a.html

Hey Christa B -
I was able to customize my RSVP Cards to include:

__ Seats Have Been Reserved In Your Honor -- I individually wrote in the #of seats for each invitation.

Name(s): _____________________ - for them to write in their name(s)
__#Attending - for them to write in the number attending.

To DRIVE HOME the point, I sent a "Guest Information Sheet" which included more details about our wedding and reception along with a brief FAQ. Here is the brief FAQ I included on the sheet sent with the invitation (see next entry - question #3):

1.What’s the attire for the evening? We’re requesting semi-formal/cocktail…and don’t forget your dancing shoes!

2.Can children attend the Wedding Ceremony? Absolutely! However, the Reception has been designated as “Adult Only” – with the exception of the Flower Girls and Ring Bearer only.

3.May I bring more people than the number of seats reserved in my honor to the Reception? No. Please restrict the attendees in your party to those listed on your invitation. We wish we could accommodate all our friends and family, but it is simply impossible.

4.If I don’t RSVP by the deadline, may I still attend the Reception? No. Our apologies, but you will not be able to attend the Reception. All planning is based on a final head count which will be comprised of those who RSVP by the deadline – February 4, 2013.

5.What if I have additional questions not answered here or on your website? Please email us at ***@*****.***.

By stating this is an adults only reception

or putting only their names on the RSVP might take a few hrs more but saves big $$$$

Anne will have ____ chicken _____ beef

Mark will have _____chicken____ beef

please check one.

I hope this helps!

Thank you ladies! Now I know how to deal with this dilemma I really appreciate it!

Amy V - say it again!

You don't have to be polite. Your party, your rules. Make it crystal clear that no one who isn't specifically invited will be allowed in.

Bravo!

I disagree-- just cause *they're* rude doesn't mean *you* should be. But you can be polite and firm. Being firm is not being rude or a jerk.

Ooh I can see how this would get a little tricky. I imagine you'd have to be very clear on the invite or on your wedding website!

All of the above, and stick to your guns! Remember, if they're bringing people who are clearly not invited, THEY are the rude ones, and you should have no qualms about putting them in their place.

Write their names on the RSVP card for them. Heck, maybe even write (2) beside the actual "attending" spot, but leave room for them to check "attending, not attending". How do you know them? Sound like a family friend. Have someone who knows them well just "casually mention" that you are keeping numbers low or that there isn't any wiggle room for extra guests.