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Bree
Beginner May 2021

Plus ones

Bree, on July 9, 2020 at 4:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 25
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Should everyone get a plus one even if they are single and not dating anyone or married to a registered sex offender but you two have been friends for years...


My cousin is determined he should get a plus one, which he did when he had a long term girlfriend. now he has a sex buddy and wants to bring her to me and my brother's wedding ( my brother is getting married too) so me and my sister in law feel if he can't put a title on this girl, can't make it known they are dating, and keeps sleeping around while with her she doesn't need to come.


My sorority sister is great love her to death but she wants to bring her significant other of a year.... I know he's a registered sex offender i just don't feel comfortable inviting him.


Is it really necessary to invite them or can i not invite them without being rude?

25 Comments

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag

    Your cousin ABSOLUTELY does not need that plus one at all.

    the sorority sister one is kind of iffy. i don't know about that either.

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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    No, don’t invite them. In general plus 1s are always the way to go however there’s always exceptions. THESE ARE THE EXCEPTIONS. Haha, I’ll have I’d say about 20 or do people that will be plus 1s that I don’t know personally, however know that they aren’t flavors of the week or registered sex offenders. I have 2 ppl they aren’t getting plus 1s for similar reasons. If they don’t show up I don’t care. You shouldn’t care either, it’s probably got the best at that point.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag

    Your wedding is 10 months away, so the cousin thing doesn't need to be determined right now.

    Unpopular opinion, but the sex offender issue could go either way for me. There's a huge difference between an 18 year old who gets in trouble for being intimate with their 17 year old SO and a 40 year old pedophile. "Sex offender" could describe either of those situations.

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  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    I totally agree. He just creeps me out a lot. My brothers wedding is in September. Sister in law is following this as well. We r both done fighting with my mother over everyone getting plus ones
    • Reply
  • Martha
    Beginner November 2020
    Martha ·
    • Flag
    Covid19 is a great excuse to cut down plus ones to only guests in serious/long-term relationships. ✌🏼
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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    If your cousin isn't actually in a relationship and technically single by the time invitations are ready to go out, you don't need to give him a plus one. In regards to your sorority sister...the question I have is why is he registered. In some states, if you get charged with public urination, you may have to register as a sex offender. I feel like it's a big difference to be on there for drunkenly peeing in an alley vs raping someone.
    • Reply
  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    Criminal sexual abuse of a 15 year old. He was 25 at the time
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  • T
    Devoted April 2021
    Tiger Bride Online ·
    • Flag

    Technically the etiquette is that a long-term significant other is not a plus one, but is part of a social unit (the couple) and thus is invited by name. Plus ones are for single guests, not those in relationships. This is very useful, because you can easily say you're not doing plus ones but "of course" you're inviting someone's spouse/fiance/long-term SO, because of course you wouldn't break up a social unit. Your cousin doesn't meet this definition, so his (in)significant other is not invited by name. If their status changes, perhaps it could be reconsidered.

    As for your sorority sister...I agree with a previous poster that it depends on the nature of the offense. Since you know that he's a sex offender, do you know what happened? I too find it unfortunate that the "sex offender" label gets applied to teenagers who get into sexual situations with other teenagers. But if he's a legitimate child molester...I wouldn't invite him. If you have children attending, it's possible he isn't even legally allowed to attend.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    Yeah, he wouldn't be welcome at my wedding and I would end my friendship with the sorority sister who is dating a pedophile.

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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    Ok yeah, that's problematic. I would be wary of having that guy at my wedding. I would also be very confused why my friend was dating someone with that kind of history.
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  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Ummmmmmmmmm...... NO. It worries me that your friend even wants to be with this guy. I’m sorry that’s a hard no.... That’s a hard HeLL No.
    • Reply
  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    I honesly thing that is all she can get so she just keeps taking him back Smiley sad the whole thing is toxic Smiley sad

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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
    • Flag
    Absolutely not to the pedophile and a COVID no the other. Meaning, due to COVID we aren’t giving plus ones....good luck!
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  • Octavia
    Dedicated June 2021
    Octavia ·
    • Flag
    I agree. Your brother doesn’t deserve a plus one. I was always under the impression that singles who get invited to weddings are supposed to “mingle” in hopes to find a new love to later come back in a few years and do it all over again.... blah! Back to the point, no! Lol
    As for your sorority sister, I think that’s a conversation you should express to her over a lunch date. Handing it may make her feel a way, trying to tell her in a easy soft way how you feel may come off a little better. Good luck with your decisions! ❤️
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  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    Ugh because he probably groomed her into thinking that she can't do better. I'm so sorry. I hope she realizes her own self worth and dumps that abuse to the curb.
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  • Kimberly
    Expert March 2021
    Kimberly Online ·
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    Please don’t ever let her hear you say that. Even thinking it as her friend is a big problem. Build her up so she can find the strength and confidence to leave him.
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  • Stacey
    Devoted May 2021
    Stacey Online ·
    • Flag
    I am normally an advocate for inviting couples as a social unit and not judging the status of anyone’s relationship, but...THIS IS THE EXCEPTION!! Lol. No way do I want a convicted sexual predator at my wedding, or frankly any social event I am hosting (or even attending for that matter).
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  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
    • Flag

    Specific to your situation, NO, I would not allow either of these plus ones for the same concerns you already have.

    For our wedding, we decided that only those who are engaged or married get a plus one. We don't want any "new girlfriends/boyfriends/we're just smashing" folks at our wedding. It's very important to us that we know and have a relationship with everyone there.

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  • M
    Devoted December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    For me the rule is that everyone in serious relationships gets a plus one, with some exceptions.

    Your cousin had a plus one but that plus one was given only because at the time he received his invitation, you had intended it to go to his then partner. I don't know if you gave him his invitation addressed to both of them, or just 'Name and Guest' but I would convey this to him - if you don't want the f buddy there.

    Regarding your friend, this is a tough one. I was one very naughty teen who looked at men in their twenties and he isn't exactly the 'paedophile' type sex offender (depends who you're asking). I think it'll be ok to have him there as it doesn't seem like he is exactly a malicious person that's grooming little girls (again, I was once the 15 year old looking at 20 somethings) but you would know more than me.

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  • Bree
    Beginner May 2021
    Bree ·
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    I havent sent out invitations yet but my save the dates are going out now and it’s only addresses to him. My brothers was addressed to only him and he rsvp’d for him and her
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