Plus Ones for All?

If you don't even know if they are dating someone relatively seriously, they THEY probably don't even belong on the guest list, never mind their date of the month.

But anyone married, engaged, long term, living together gets a guest.

@celia since the wedding game is your forte, im going to say your one of the best says on this.

I did before think it was proper etiquette to invite everyone's date regardless of what others considered serious, but after the last post I saw that I may have been wrong on that assumption, now its vice versa?! I believe what Celia said is most accurate

So, a few things.

1) As PP have said, people in a serious relationship are a unit. It doesn't matter how well you know their SO, proper etiquette says they get an invite.

2) You don't send invites out for a few more months (2 months prior to wedding). Unless you can guarantee, your single friend will still be "very single" at the time of invites, I'd count her with a tentative "plus one". That's just my opinion. I tend to err on the side of overestimation.

3) I'd take a good hard look at your list. Start with your parents, future spouse parents, siblings, and grandparents and bridal party (who all should have a plus one regardless of relationship). From there make a separate list of people who you'd like to be there, including all of their SO and kids (if you are having kids at the wedding). See where you are on list one compared to your budget. Add people accordingly.

What is most important is hosting your guests appropriately. That means welcoming SO, even if you don't know them...and yes paying for dinner and drinks for the entire social unit.

Completely agree with Celia. That's how I feel.

If you know they've been in the relationship for a while,then include them. Well, include them regardless of length.

You don't need to give a date to single people.

You do need to invite the significant other of any guest on your list who has one.

If they have significant others, invite them. Those are not plus ones.

Trust me, I only have 12 guests and one of them is a significant other of a friend whom I met once, briefly. I'd rather not have quote unquote strangers at my tiny wedding (that's the point) but they -are- in a relationship so it would be hella rude to not invite him.

Thanks, guys! I haven't been to that many weddings yet (I'm one of the first of my friends to walk down the aisle), but a few years ago I had a cousin invite me to her wedding without my live-in boyfriend (my now FH). It was due to budget restrictions, which I totally understood. Because of that, I never realized there was really any rudeness in not inviting significant others, especially when the couple doesn't know the person, personally.

Thanks for clearing that up for me!

Speaking from experience, it sucks to have someone know you're in a relationship and not be included as a plus one (FH was in the wedding party for a childhood friend, and despite hanging out with them at their parent's place and us having lived together for three or four years at that time, I wasn't included on the invite....ended up with a verbal invite once they got enough people advising they wouldn't make it....). Also, from the stories I've seen around the forums, people are -not- shy about outright asking if they can bring someone, so sending a plus one on the invite may save you some awkward conversations later.

"Lol im sorry the last post you were all together that they just recently started dating and the couple had not met him, there for he should not have to be invited."

It doesn't matter when they started dating. You don't get to judge how serious their relationship is. If they're exclusively dating, they get invited together. Whether the couple has met him or not is irrelevant in terms of etiquette.

@Stephanie, great attitude! I hope you stick around!

Yay Stephanie!!!! God, it's sad that we're reducing to celebrating the sane new people that respond in a socially normal way.

@MsG, Celia was saying that if you dont know someone is in a serious relationship you likely arent that close to them. Thus, you shouldn't invite them and their SO. Not that if you dont know their SO it is okay to not invite their partner.

Significant others should always be invited, they are a unit. Honestly I am planning a plus one for all single adults. I would rather be over prepared then under.

Where in the fuck did i say if you never met them they dont get invited?!? I said thats what everyone elses general opinion was on the last post. You people are reaching for an argument, spare me

@BecomingMrsOz makes a great point. My very single cousin (nearly 30 and has never even mentioned being in a relationship before) now has a girlfriend that seems to be heading in a long term direction. Luckily, I left room on the working guest list for all adults to be in a relationship by the time invites are mailed.

Calm down @MsG, I misread your comment.

Wow. That escalated fast.

"Where in the fuck did i say if you never met them they dont get invited?!? I said thats what everyone elses general opinion was on the last post."

Wait, who is "everyone"? Because I don't know a single regular/veteran on this forum who condones not inviting SOs they haven't met.

I think the reason we misread your post is because you were missing words. Not exactly our fault.

OP, I think you have a great attitude! Invite your sister's SO's, that's the nice thing to do.

Also, what sorority are you in?

From my (unfortunate) experience, my younger sister and her DH invited their sorority sisters and fraternity brothers to the wedding and only invited certain SO's that she knew about/ were serious. This led to confusion amongst other guests, thinking they automatically received a plus one since their friends got one (they were all still in college and didn't know better).

The big day arrives and guess what happened? They didn't have enough seats at the reception and ran out of food.

Plan for everyone to bring their SO or a plus one for your own peace of mind.