Plus one when there was no "and guest" listed on the card.

If you are refusing plus ones, you also have the responsibility of making the awkward phone call. However, her DUI is not your problem.

The other one just got pregnant by a guy she's been dating for 3 months so she's bringing him with her as well.. I understand this but isn't it nice to ask if we have room first, before you just bring someone?

I have been invited to a wedding and was not given the option to bring a guest .. and I didn't. I knew people there. I made sure to invite others so everyone knew someone and they were still friends, so they wouldn't feel "left out."

I think it would just be better to call them once we receive a final count, if there isn't enough room, and let them know we're full - that's why I addressed the invites that way. Is there any better way to do this?

I have such a hard time telling people no!..

Is her plus one someone she's been with for a long time? If so then she should have been given the option to bring one anyway.

Honestly, I would wait until you got all your RSVPs back...the Plus 1's can take the place of guests who send their regrets...if you don't get enough regrets back then I would call and politely explain the situation, but wouldn't if I didn't have to. Its not worth getting into an argument or even straining a friendship as this is a pretty awkward conversation to have with someone.

I've heard of doing the two envelopes, so there isn't any confusion, but this is more with kids. Mr. and Mrs. blah blah and then on the inside envelope you write exactly who is invited, Bob and Sally. I believe in giving people a plus one, but that's just my opinion on the matter. If they don't have anyone to bring that's fine, but I don't want to make someone feel that they can't bring someone esp if they have started dating someone, but I may not know it at that point. If you don't have the room you will need to make the phone call and let them know that it was only her that was invited. good luck!

If I don't have room for +1's, am I not supposed to invite either of them if I can't give them the option to bring someone? (Serious question - not a smartass one).. I would be less offended if someone told me they didn't have room for my random "at the moment" significant other, than not inviting me at all. We have to pay $50 for each person over 200... so Id feel bad if it makes her mad but I'm not paying that much money for random people who weren't invited.. that's just for being there.. not including food, alcohol, etc.

Personally, i think if you couldn't invite her boyfriend or the pregnant girls boyfriend I just wouldn't have invited her. I get that you have a big guest list and it's expensive but they are dating. One is even having a baby. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding without my husband no matter how long we had been dating.

If they arnt important enough to invite their significant other, they just simply arnt important enough to invite.

I didn't know the pregnant one was pregnant until today via Facebook.. Neither of them talk to me.. One does hard drugs and the other one doesn't wanna hang out with you unless you're out drinking - but now she's pregnant. You are probably right, but I guess they're on the back burner.. family comes first and if we don't have enough room for the friends SO then it is what it is.. sounds shitty of me, but .. yeeeah.

An that's fine, but like I said, if you didn't have enough space for their significant other because family is more important (and the way you are talking about your "friends" is kind of ridiculous) I just wouldn't have invited them.

I agree with Heather A. If someone is an adult and in a relationship you should be inviting them both to the wedding regardless if you are close with their significant other or not. The DUI has no relevance to if you allow her a plus one or not. I think you need to expect they might not come if they can't bring a date. If you want to hold firm on the no plus one that is fine, but make it about the space limitation only. You will likely get 2 declines that will make room for the 2 extras you didn't anticipate.

Yeah, not sure why you invited people who don't talk to you to your wedding. . .

Squish, going to a wedding alone sucks. Even if you know everyone there.

You have a capacity issue which is understandable, however in hindsight, you probably shouldn't have invited them to begin with, if you hardly speak to them, even if they are in a circle of friends from high school. You don't have to justify your guest list to anyone, seriously.

I did not know she was in a relationship.......................................... -.- I found out she was pregnant on facebook by some dude thats now her boyfriend at 1 oclock this morning... I sent out the invites 3 weeks ago.

@Squish...I agree with you and put family first when it came to the guest list and then went into my closest friends that WEREN'T standing up in the wedding....basically if I haven't talked to them in 6 months or seen them in a year then they were off the list.

I am not so concerned about the plus 1 issue as I am about your friend with her history of DUI's.

I don't know the laws where you are from, but where I am from if she were to drive drunk and hurt someone the venue/hosts can be held responsible for it.

My venue is just out of the city, and while I don't expect anyone to get drunk (not that kind of wedding) I have informed the DOC and Bartender to cut anyone off if they seem to be having to much. As well I will be making sure there are phone numbers for cabs available for anyone needing one. If I were you I would look into that before your wedding.

It is what it is. I come from an drug/alcohol abuse family and I'm in CJ - I see it all of the time. I love them but I'm not going to enable them.. if they want to hang out when they're not drunk or high I gladly would. They were my best friends since I was tiny and I thought that at least inviting them would be a nice thing to do. However, apparently nat. If we have room on the guest list, I have no quarrels with it.

My FH got his bar-tending license in college and knows the laws. Thought of that too!

I would wait and see how many declines you get. If you get enough to stay under 200 I would avoid the awkward call telling them they can't bring their significant other.

I am keeping my guest list small, 100 people. I would rather allow people to bring a guest and just invite a few less people. It sounds like you aren't even particularly close to these people, if you found out she was pregnant via facebook. I would rather have my closest friends and let them bring a guest, and not invite more distant friends.

I think SunshineJenn said it well. It's no fun walking into a wedding without an escort. Actually, it's no fun walking into any social event without an escort unless it's a girls' night out and everyone is anxiously awaiting the arrival of each friend. Yes, it is true that people will find others to socialize with, but there's always that awkward initial period of scoping out the room and making your way towards a group of people you know. It's so much easier to have someone with you. I'm just of the opinion that when making a guest list, you start with family and then move on to the closest friends you have. Even if those friends aren't living with someone or engaged to someone, they should be given the option of bringing an escort.

It's sound like the OP thought these old high school friends would enjoy an evening out with the girls they grew up with -- maybe even travel to the wedding together. I can't fault her for the idea, but everyone has moved on and they do have other relationships in their lives. At this point, all you can do is wait and see how many declines you have. You might have an issue when a few of them bring guests and the rest of them realize that they weren't given that option. That could be a problem.

I had a friend from high school message me and ask if it was okay to bring a guest, since he already had someone in mind. He does not have a girlfriend, and probably just assumed I would allow him a guest. I told him that I would let him know once we had a better idea of guest count if we had room for him to bring someone, but he said he would totally understand if we said no. I did not offer a guest to his twin brother either, who is also single. He has not officially RSVP'd yet, since he is waiting for me to let him know. I think we will have enough space for him to bring a guest, but I'm tempted to just tell him no. He will have plenty of other people at the wedding (including his brother!) that he knows and can have a good time with.

You're right. I wasn't trying to intentionally step on any toes. It's hard to plan stuff especially when you're not as close with people you used to be inseparable from.. I wouldn't have been offended but I guess I am not everyone else.

I sound harsh when I talk about them but it's hard to watch that kind of stuff happen to people you love, when you know you can't help them unless they want to help themselves. It makes you mad but you just have to be tough..

Hun everyone has an opinion and not all will be the same. Personally I don't think it's rude at all. I mean really how hard is it to walk into a wedding by yourself especially if you have other friends there. I've been to weddings where if they were engaged or married they got a plus one, if not they didn't. Boo hoo. It's up to you and your finances discretion. Where I'm from, it isn't considered rude at all. If they don't want to come alone, then they won't come. People shouldn't add a plus one or guest if they weren't given one. That's why I did the "we have reserved __ seats in your honor." Again its up to you and him, no one else and if you don't talk to them they shouldn't be there anyway.