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Master April 2021

Planning your way or how others want it?!

Mrs. Spring, on November 10, 2020 at 4:13 PM Posted in Planning 0 14

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I find myself getting frustrated planning a simple three guests vow exchange ceremony. I wanted to elope so badly without any guests present, but FH really wants his parents there. Now, I have to invite my mom or she will be hurt. I get along with her great, it's just that she takes precautions with COVID to one of the highest levels. She refuses to eat indoors unless shes home and I have not visited jer at all this year as in go to her house because she wants any guests to wear masks in her house at all times. I live 400 miles away from her but I want to get married in her city bc that is my hometown and the city has many things to do outdoors versus where my FH, his parents and I live. The issue is I find myself planning an event with details I don't want due to her COVID precautions and it's making me exhausted. Such as having to choose a restaurant that has guaranteed outdoor dining and worrying if it rains then she'll refuse to eat with us. All the restaurants I love unfortunately don't have a patio. So I'll have to settle for food that I don't really care for.

I don't even know how we'll be able to include her in pictures if it rains and we have to take them indoor. She'll want to wear a mask.

If you were in my position, eould you do things the way you want? Or settle for details you dont want bc of guests?
Planning your way or how others want it?! 1

Planning your way or how others want it?! 1

Planning your way or how others want it?! 2

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Spring, on November 11, 2020 at 11:02 AM

Expert January 2021
Katie · on November 10, 2020 at 4:35 PM
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It doesn't sound like she has many requests other than dining outdoors. Indoor dining is not even allowed currently where I live in the midwest and not great weather, but there are plenty of outdoor dining options. I have not dined indoors since COVID and will not for a long time. If you want your mom there, have an outdoor meal. If you don't want her there, do inside. As far as her wearing a mask, that's her prerogative you can't say she can't be safe and wear a mask.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 10, 2020 at 4:43 PM
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I live in the Midwest as well and where I live they are permitting indoor dining. I know the mandates vary by state.
Thanks for your input.
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Super October 2022
Michele · on November 10, 2020 at 4:45 PM
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It's your wedding day and should reflect you and your fiance's wishes. The reception however should take guests' consideration into account. There's surely some way to compromise so everyone is happy.

I wouldn't protest the mask for safety reasons. Maybe you and fiance can eat at a different restaurant after the meal with parents?
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on November 10, 2020 at 5:17 PM
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It’s your wedding, not anyone else’s. Obviously we try to accommodate for our parents but there’s only so much you can do. Give her the options & let her decide if she wants to participate.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on November 10, 2020 at 5:46 PM
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Is eloping just the 2 of you and having parents zoom in with you an option? That way it’s just the 2 of you present like you wanted, but parents can still watch the ceremony live as it happens, from the comfort and safety of their own homes.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 10, 2020 at 6:47 PM
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I'll mention that to FH but I doubt he'll want to do that. His family aren't bug on that kind of stuff. Future MIL says video chat doesnt count and she couldn't imagine not touching and feeling on her grandkids. My mom would be cool with it.
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VIP May 2015
KiwiDerbyBride · on November 10, 2020 at 8:42 PM
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Plan the wedding you want to have. Let her know what your plans are, invite her and let her make her own decision.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 10, 2020 at 9:13 PM
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Thank you for your input! I do need to let go of the stress.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on November 10, 2020 at 10:50 PM
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I also agree that you should plan the wedding you want. If she isn't comfortable then she can always decline.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 10, 2020 at 11:03 PM
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Okay thank you for your input!
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Expert February 2021
RaylaSan · on November 11, 2020 at 10:00 AM
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Try not to bend yourself backwards for the people you care about, try to draw a line between what you are willing to go through, and just have your guests decide to either deal with it, or not. I'm not sure where you live, or in what state, but a lot of restaurants where I live, have installed tents to keep out the rain during outdoor dining. If there aren't any in your city, maybe try another city instead?
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 11, 2020 at 10:07 AM
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Thanks for the suggestion! I appreciate it.
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Super April 2021
Tiger Bride · on November 11, 2020 at 10:53 AM
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I would plan the wedding the way you want and let the chips fall where they fall, particularly because it sounds like you weren't planning to invite her anyway.
Perhaps there is a restaurant you can find with a patio that's kind of half-in half-out?
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on November 11, 2020 at 11:02 AM
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Thank you for your suggestion. This has been helpful.
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