Planning my own Bridal Shower

I think etiquette would dictate that it should not be a family member: this is because guests may think your family is hitting people up for gifts.

But, given your circumstances, you can plan the shower behind the scenes and let your mom host. If it is just your family, I think they would understand.

Well this an interesting predicament....by her hosting, does she mean that she wants you to pick the food, decor, and activities and she will do all of the set up/execution? Or does she mean that you are planning and running your own shower and that you can have it at her house, but that is the extent of her involvement?

Yeah, I am curious about that, too. I think it would be kind of weird if you were the one "hosting", i.e., running the show.

I don't plan to have activities. Just company & food so its more like a bridal luncheon. Mom wants me to plan the food & decor, and have it at my house(her house is the size of an apartment), but she's said she will help with set up. I get that etiquette states it shouldn't be a family member to host, but i have such a small circle of people in my life, but at the same time i still want to celebrate my wedding even though the only people in my life are family members. I've attended other showers where family has hosted. My cousin hosted her sister's bridal and baby shower, and my stepmom hosted her niece's bridal shower, so I would hope it wouldn't be seen as trying to get gifts if Mom hosted seeing how few people i have in my life.

Umm, 20 isn't a "small" group of people to be close to, lol.

If it's at your house and you are planning the food and decor, well then, YOU are hosting the shower, not your mom. The reason why that this is considered being in poor taste is because a person hosting a party in their own honor where people are expected to "shower" them with gifts comes off as being very narcissistic, no matter how pretty of a bow you wrap around it.

My suggestion is if you really just want a celebration with your loved ones and you are not trying to have a party just for the gifts, then you can have a simple bridal luncheon where instead of getting gifts, you can have a recipe exchange party or something along those lines where it has been made clear that you aren't expecting presents from the guests, just their company.

If this is indeed about the gifts (which is the case for a lot of women, some are just more honest about it than others lol), then you're going to need to start dropping hints to your family/friends that you would love to have a bridal shower thrown for you. But try not to set your heart on having one because you may end up disappointed doing so. And if for whatever reason, you don’t end up having one at all, it won’t be the end of the world, I promise. You will still have the option of throwing a bachelorette party, and let’s not forget the biggest celebration of your marriage that you have to look forward to – your actual wedding!

Honestly, it is extremely rude/tacky/poor etiquette (whichever word you want to use) to throw your own shower or tell people to do it for you. Even if your mom "hosts", you're still planning it for yourself.

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I agree. Throwing yourself a shower is in poor taste. I love Tina~bo~Bina's idea with the recipe exchange. That way you can host a celebration for your wedding without it seeming like you are asking for gifts.

I don't think there's anything wrong with throwing it yourself, I am also not very traditional-minded either. You really are in an interesting situation that you can't help. You'd like to have a shower and there's nothing wrong with that.

No one really has to know that you planned it. You can place your mom's name on the invitation if you don't want people to know. Maybe I missed this, but who is covering the expenses? It kinda sucks that you have to plan it but I don't think you should sacrifice not having one because there's no one to throw it for you.

Who's paying - that usually dictates the host.

The bride technically shouldn't throw her own shower - parents, friends, co-workers, BM's, etc..

You're situation is different but I really don't think altogether unique. I'm sure many showers have been thrown by "somone" and the bride actually planned it.

I'm with Thelma's twin on this one. Who would really know the difference?

For my first wedding, my sister thru me a really, really nice shower! It was at a really nice restaurant and I received a ton of gifts - many I still have todya! So I had that experience. This time, I didn't have one - but my co-workers suprised me by throwing a "sprinkle"

My mom did say she would help with the expenses. I do understand why she can't plan the whole thing herself. She works full time at a very stressful job, so she has very little time.

I think I'm going to go ahead and have a shower and have Mom "host" with her name on the invitations. After all, she's going to help with expenses and setting up on the day. Just cause I don't have any close friends to throw a shower I don't think I should sacrifice not having a shower and celebrating with family. Nobody needs to know that I planned the shower. I'm also not very traditional, and around where I live it is so common for parents/siblings to host showers. My cousin was in the same situation as I am. She too has no close friends so her sister hosted her bridal and baby showers and the showers were female relatives only as cousin also doesn't have close friends.

Just make it a luncheon/brunch like someone else suggested. The recipe swap is a great idea if you need a theme.

If you're basically just doing that at your mom's house, that's fine. Just don't call it a shower, and make it very clear that it is not a gift-giving party.

Remember that showers and bachelorette parties are not entitlements. Not everybody has them. Especially the shower is a gift-giving event, which means you really cannot throw it for yourself, it looks like you just want gifts. That doesn't mean you can't plan something to celebrate with people. Just not a shower.

I personally dont think you should be worried about family throwing a shower. My sisters are my bridal party with 2 friends. My sister who is MOH is "hosting" the shower with my BMs. I assume you aren't having bridesmaids then also? Because that is who usually does it if parents dont in my circle. I do think it is weird to technically host it yourself but if your mom is hosting but just cant do it all herself I dont think it is weird.

I say let your mom be the host, and you take care of the details behind the scenes.

Honestly, I am a control freak, so the idea of someone else planning a boring shower is frighting. I have basically told my MOHs (yes, I have 2) several different ideas and things I would be interested in having. I also want a "wedding shower" not just a bridal shower. I think that the FH should be showered too. haha. That way they can pick out different details, I am still a little surprised, and I still ideally have close to what I want. IT is a new day in age, and if I do have a wedding shower, I want to have fun and make sure others are having fun because whether I am the host or not, it is in my honor therefore I want my guests to have a good time. If that makes me tacky, I don't know what else does!! Do what you want it is your wedding!! Honestly, who is going to know if you put your mom's name on it?? Obviously, your mom doesn't care, so I would just put her name on the invite, and just plan away (assuming you have plenty of time to plan!!)

I personally am planning my own Bridal Shower because i have NO sisters and my mom is not financially able to pay for things for my Shower.....I'm definitely not in it for the gifts so my guest should know that and if not i'm really not stressing over it at all......My wedding is 3 months away and my shower is this Saturday