Planning a wedding while depressed

Have you talked to your significant other about how you are feeling? Definitely try to come to a compromise that you are comfortable with. This should be a really happy day for both of you so if it's not what you want you need to communicate that.

Also, are you seeking help for your depression? Remember to take care of yourself. It will be okay OP.

You definitely are not. My father passed away in September. He got sick in August. Since then, wedding planning has been so hard for me. I am trying my best, but I don't feel the tingle of excitement that I felt when we first started. We are also less than 6 months out- so we can't exactly go on planning hiatus. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. Just try to push through and maybe ask for some extra help from your partner. Once the day comes it will all be worth it!

ETA- Don't forget to partake in some serious self care too. Non wedding related self care. Your health should be top priority.

@k.m My fiance knows and is doing his best. I think we both think/hope that I'll feel better by then, but the anxiety over the "what if" is making me feel even more anxious.

And yes, I have been and am currently being treated. No one needs to worry!

@Deanna I'm sorry about your father. That's really difficult. but you're right, it will be worth it I'm sure.

Grace - I deal with the same type of mental illness. Remember that asking for help is fine and that it's ok to take time not thinking about the wedding. Make sure you're taking care of yourself and use those little bursts of inspiration to check one thing off your list. Maybe make a checklist with smaller or simpler tasks you would like to get done and give yourself some cushy deadlines so that it doesn't stress you out as much. It will all be ok <3

Yep. Planning through depression is no small feat. I'm also an introvert so I'm worried about being the center of attention all day. My fiance is amazing and being incredibly supportive and helpful. Some days are easier than others, but you just have to know it is ok to put the wedding aside for a few days to take care of you. Keeping you in my prayers.

I am sorry to hear this. I have ocd and anxiety . Well for many years . I dont know if your seeing a dr but i have to stay on medicine to bslance things out . It really does help . Maybe a best friend or sister can help u plan? I wish you a happier planning and brighter days to come.

I also deal with anxiety and depression and have been very concerned with being able to enjoy my wedding day. You are NOT alone OP!

As far as coping, I just try to tell myself that I WILL have an amazing day and will enjoy my wedding. After about a year of repetition, I'm finally starting to believe it. I hope you have a fantastic wedding OP, and I hope you enjoy it to the fullest. You got this!

ETA: Comment didn't post right

This is what planners are for. Take the weight off of you.

I haven't been in your situation exactly, but DH was severely depressed when we were planning our wedding. I basically planned our entire wedding myself. Its ok to lean on your support system during this time!

To reassure you, you would never know from looking at our wedding pictures that he was seriously depressed at the time. I think our wedding was a bright spot in an otherwise terrible year for him. Regardless of whatever else is going on, your wedding is a hugely exciting and emotional time for you, and you'll enjoy it.

Visit http://conscious-transitions.com/ and take some the e-courses. You will not regret it. Heck go there and just read the posts/articles by Sheryl and you will feel better and connected. You are not alone.

My father was sick with cancer when we got engaged and I ended up with an emergency wedding in the hospital on his deathbed. I get it, it was hard to carry on planning while he was sick and especially after loosing him. Keep fighting depression, you can beat it. Call your doc if you take meds and see if they need adjustment.

Yes. I'm struggling to care about a lot of things right now. Impatiently waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist at the moment (after trying to get in since August, my November appointment got cancelled and moved to December, so I've got another two months of silent suffering now).

Anyway, my saving grace has been my FH who has stepped up in big ways while I'm dealing with this. He's downstairs cooking dinner at the moment because I just wasn't up for it tonight. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need.

Bipolar type two here. I feel you 100%

Thanks everyone. Just knowing I'm not the only one helps. It's just hard because there are so many built in expectations surrounding weddings and getting married and how great it should be. And I know it's not perfect for anyone, but to feel so negative about the wedding and planning right now really stinks. I wish we could just skip to being married without potentially regretting not having the wedding.

As somebody that has dealt with repeated depressive episodes, I would suggest that you treat your depression and get yourself balanced before you get married..You need to take care of yourself first before you take care of others. I haven't read previous comments but please go see a psychiatrist and get on medication if you have not already. This should be your #1 priority. Then, when you feel balanced again that's the time to plan your wedding.

ETA: Just read your previous comment about not being able to get in to see your psychiatrist...it makes me want to rip my FUCKING HAIR OUT how long it takes to see a psychiatrist in our country. I've been waiting a total of 2.5 months to see one for my anxiety I'm currently dealing with. My depression is currently under control but my anxiety is off the wall, and since I have different insurance than when I was on meds before, this was one of the earliest options to get in to see somebody. 2 years ago I had a major depressive episode and was sooooo depressed, and couldn't get into see anybody for 2 months and all the psychiatrists office would say if "if it's an emergency go to the ER". OK so I can't get out of bed and it took EVERY OUNCE of my motivation to even dial your number but I have to go to an ER to ask for an antidepressant? I know exactly how you feel and it's so frustrating. Hang in there and once you get in somewhere it'll be ok once you get on the right meds. BUG HUGS

Oh my gosh, reading your post reminded me so much of how my wedding planning went. I have an "unspecified mood disorder" that is a secondary symptom of a central nervous system disease. All of my health problems are perpetuated by stress, so wedding planning eventually led me to become depressed and sick. You're most definitely not alone.

Your FH is your greatest ally. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't keep this in. I may have missed it if you mentioned it, but if you aren't in therapy I HIGHLY recommend it. Find an outlet or hobby that brings you relief. Scale back portions of the wedding that are causing you additional stress.

Why doesn't your FH take over planning?

Know that you aren't alone! I've been battling depression for the past 8 years, and I just recently got engaged about a week ago. Definitely talk to a doctor about what you're feeling, they can provide multiple options to help battle your depression. Just know that you are a beautiful, unique person, and you've got this! From one bride to another, you've got this!

You're def not the only one. It's really hard for us to do all of this planning on top of trying to stay afloat. I haven't been engaged too long but I'm already freaking out. What's helping though is doing one small task a day and rewarding yourself with something small after. For example I told myself to email at least 3 venues (which takes a lot because of my anxiety) and once I did I got myself a latte at Starbucks as a treat. For me I just have to force myself to do one hard thing to make it feel like I'm not completely useless and then follow it up with an incentive. I'm worried about these feelings not going away too but I just try to focus on my fiance and trying to picture my wedding day. Things really suck for people like us but one day at a time!

I'm a borderline. And planning the wedding had brought up a lot of negativity for me. I actually ended up getting so bad I was in the hospital a few months ago. I didn't want to tell anyone what was happening because I was feeling so ridiculous for being depressed when planning the happiest day of our lives. I wish I'd reached out sooner for help and I'm glad you're acknowledging it. You are not alone. If it starts to feel overwhelming, step away for a while. Our weddings aren't for another 4 months. You have time. I suggest talking to your therapist/psychiatrist (if you have one) and see what they recommend. With mood disorders it could just be that you need a new or different medication. Or you need to focus on something different in your sessions.

Keep in mind that you're not alone. You're not crazy. And you're not wrong. All emotions are valid. And you will get through this.