Picky Guests

Yeah, if I didn't want the sauce, I would pick another option... that's frustrating.

I'm sorry but vegetarian gluten free is not a picky request. This is a lifestyle this person has chosen. Depending on how long they've been eating like this, eating meat or gluten could make them very sick. I would never book a caterer who couldn't accommodate allergies. Out of the vegetarians attending my wedding, I have 3 gluten free, 1 with a soy allergy, 1 who is vegan, and 1 with a mushroom allergy. I also have a guest who is allergic to wheat, milk, eggs, nuts, and mushrooms. And one who can't eat gluten, dairy, or soy. And every one of these people will be fed an amazing meal.

Your caterer should accommodate allergies.

So I am doing to be honest - I am the allergy kid. And I have never been to a wedding that listed specific meals being served. So I always took a guess and waited till I got there to see if I could eat it. I never considered called the bride to say Hey here is my list what can I eat - I just sucked it up.

That being said, I shouldn't have. My caterer will accommodate allergies 'within standards reasonable for a commercial kitchen'

Meaning - he will make a separate dish but if you have a contact allergy and can't eat restaurant food because of it - he cant help you.

My caterer can accommodate with vegetarian and gluten free dishes as well as allergies. However I agree with what a few of you said regarding special requests. I can't expect the caterer to make 100 personalized meals for people. Even with allergies I have some friends who have severe ones. They eat at home in cases like this. I'm not trying to be rude but it does get frustrating when people start wanting you to cater to just them.

@ ErinC All weddings I've been to listed the specific meals so that's what I did on my invites. If I realized it was like this I would have done just what you said on the invites and put "chicken", "fish", etc. If only I could turn back the hands of time lol lol

There is a line that is reasonable and there is a line that crosses entitled. Our caterer accommodated allergies and celiac quite wonderfully and our guests had very very good meals. We weren't dealing with please no sauce on this or I only like that, etc. Our caterer was just outstanding and I feel asking for the allergies and celiac to be accommodated were reasonable requests. Oh, and vegetarian too.

Special meals are a pain in the ass. My restaurant does it for functions all of the time and guess what, it's a clusterfuck. It almost always gets delayed or messed up in some way. And then of course you have the assholes that see someone with a different meal and complain that they didn't have that option as well (yes, those people exist). A legit allergy OBVIOUSLY needs to be accommodated but I would try to do that within the meal choices.

My aunt (more like a mother to me) has celiac. She can't just take the croutons off of her salad once they've been there. I will have plenty of gluten free options that day to accommodate her. She will be the only gluten free person at the wedding. We eat a lot more gluten free foods on a daily basis than people realize.

I think one option on your menu should cover the common allergy bases (no pine nuts, seeds, gluten, shellfish) and 99.9% of the time that will suffice

If you have a life threatening allergy, you shouldn't leave your food quality up to any stranger. I can flat out tell you that any caterer that has more than one person working for them cannot absolutely control what goes on in the kitchen.

And if you've chosen a 'lifestyle' that excludes many foods that many people eat, then bring your own food or decline.

Maybe because I'm ancient, but I honestly don't remember all these allergies, sensitivities, and 'lifestlye' choices when I was growing up.....coincidence?

I have a severe allergy to salad dressing (think anaphylactic shock). When we go to a wedding, my husband eats the salad for me or it doesn't get eaten at all. We carry large quanities of Benedryl on hand and an Epi pen. It never occurred to me to ever write on someone's RSVP card asking to be accommodated like that.

If I had a life threatening allergy, I wouldn't ever risk eating food that had been mass prepared. Sounds like some of your guests are just being picky. I think your options are fine.

Ok as someone with food allergies I'm going to chime in here.

Caterers CANNOT accommodate food allergies unless Option 1: the allergen free food is something that is made packaged and prepped in a completely allergen free environment. or Option 2: Their whole menu is void of said allergen.

My own caterer cannot accommodate my allergies. Yes they can accommodate my little cousins shrimp allergy by not bringing or prepping any shrimp for my wedding, but me? Celiac Disease (Gluten), Whey/Casein Protein Allergy (mammal milk), Pine nut Allergy, Tree Nut Allergy (so far only hazel nut and raw almonds). Nope, nope, nope. I am preparing my own plate, at home, in my very allergy friendly kitchen and bringing it to the venue. When dinner time comes I will go into the kitchen and get it out of the fridge myself. Unwrap it myself. And carry it back to my table. Why you may ask... Cross contamination is real and dangerous. I have every confidence in the caterer and his staff to provide safe, delicious food but what if the staff member grates a block of parm and then grabs my plate? Oops, He forgot to wash his hands... now my plate and the food on it is contaminated and I will need my handy dandy epi-pen in a matter of minutes. Nothing like a wedding night in the hospital.

I appreciate that so many people are trying to accommodate us allergy kids but believe me when I say this; most of us know not to eat even when restaurants and caterers claim to have "XXX Free" on their menu. Unless the entire kitchen is free of the allergen or I know the kitchen specializes in allergy food prep (designated people, in a designated area, with separate cooking utensils) Im not eating. I will smile and play with my food until everyone else is done. You just wasted your money.

Serve a salad, no cheese, no croutons (sure have them on the side for every one else) and you will make all of your allergen guests happy and safe. Oh, and if there is vinegar and olive oil set aside as a dressing option, I may just kiss you on the face!

ETA: Celia- I get what youre saying to a point. Some people are getting ridiculous with self diagnosing food allergies and intolerance. I have a friend who swears she feels better eating gluten free therefore she must be sensitive/allergic... No she just stopped eating McDonalds every other day. Of course you feel better. Of course you lost weight. The gluten had nothing to do with it.

However, I will say I have taken part in quite a few medical studies and a lot of them are finding old medical records and child deaths could be traced back to a food allergy but not having the right medical equipment to test for it. I almost died as a few hours old infant because of my mothers breast milk. A nurse recognized the symptoms as anaphylaxis only because her own child had a severe allergy and she was able to save my life. It would have been written off as SIDS if she had not been able to catch it and save me in time.

I have a nut allergy, and one of the GM's is allergic to peanuts. Fortunately, our catering is handled by the venue, in a separate kitchen from any other room (each room has it's own kitchen), so it's not a problem to not have anything with nuts.

We listed the main entrees, then put a line about letting us know if there are any dietary restrictions/allergies. If we have three vegetarians and two vegans, all five get the vegan meal.

All I got out of this thread is that pregnant women can't eat goat cheese. Reason #431 for me to never have kids.

Dietary restrictions are one thing, but saying you don't want the glaze? That's just too difficult, choose the damn chicken.

MrsToBe brings up a great point; all caterers use pre-prepared products, from puff pastry to bake-off rolls to entrees (if you're talking low end). And those products can include a variety of things you're trying to avoid. We used to buy unbaked rugulah from our baker and bake it to order for every party, but right on the box, it said that it was produced in a factory that processed nuts.

I'm a picky eater by choice, no veggies. I wouldn't expect accommodations that unless I was allergic to something. If I know that the food being served wasnt what I wanted I would just eat beforehand, then eat whatever I wanted of the choice's I was given. Skip the veggie and give me the meat. The only reason I'd say anything to a host is because I'd feel bad wasting food that was prepared.

@Patches sounds like you and FH have the same problem. We call it "babymouth". I knew a grown ass women once who only ate chicken fingers and french fries. EB. (Extreme Babymouth).

FH has said in restaurants that offer sides or salads with meals to just forget it but he never makes anyone, like, pick spinach out of his pasta if that's how it comes. That's his job and he gets that.

Ignore anything that isn't an allergy and if the glaze isn't baked into the salmon and something she drizzled on top after than just leave it off. Don't stress. This is minor to the major (your wedding) if people don't like it they won't eat it.

@Boozebaker the veggie problem is literally vomiting it back up within 30 minutes. This wasnt a new thing it has happened since I was old enough to be given baby food. Parents took me to doctors, they didnt know why I couldn't hold any down. The times I have forced myself to eat them I have vomited. So I have given up trying and am picky about what I eat now. Little too much info but it sucks.