People showing up day of wedding

I don't know I think this would be kind of a good idea.in my case it would keep my sister in law out if she somehow finds out where and when it is.

When I say "extras" I'm not meaning random people. I'm meaning friends or family from both parties who weren't necessarily invited but may have heard about it through someone who was. Friends or family who may feel "entitled" to attend (in their minds)- I went to a wedding where people uninvited just showed up because they heard about it, the venue won't deny a seat, they will find them a seat, serve them and expect the bride and groom to pay at the end.

I was more worry about guests RSVP yes and not showing up due to weather. I would never do that. If a few people show up that forgot to RSVP in time, let them in. How many could it be & how much would it cost? We got some many gift envelopes at the reception, we could have paid for at least 20 extra guests without any problems. Don't worry, don't do that list either. Our venue said that they "always" cook extra food for this type of situation.

I have heard of this happening ... even my mom warned me that some of her guests that we included in my wedding may come (despite RSVP'ing no or not responding) or bring kids who weren't included, resulting in "extras." The guest table thing doesn't fix it because they will just take seats where visible or see which names haven't been taken yet and sit there. Short of the hostess solution, you just have to deal with it and hope that the number of extras are less than the number of no shows.

We did have a couple of extra people show up but I knew them. They were people I went to college with. The ceremony was on campus so it was pretty much open to whoever worked or went to school there but then they drove 30 minutes to the reception. It was fine though because there were quite a few no-shows or people who only stayed for cocktail hour such as the officiant and his wife. So in the end we actually paid for more people than were actually there.

I'm not really sure having guests verify their name at the door is really necessary unless it's like a super formal black tie event (even then I've never been to one but it seems like that's something you would do in that situation). If you do have wedding crashers whom you don't know then have someone who works at the venue escort them out, simple as that.

That seems really 'strange' that people will show up to a wedding they weren't invited to. Is that common in certain regions/areas?

The RSVP No and then showing up is rude. That is a sticky situation.

FMIL has threatened to just tell her friends where and when to show up for the wedding if we don't invite them. We'll be telling the vendors that if there isn't a table/seat already saved for this person there's a reason for that and to simply explain to them that we can only accommodate the guests invited by the bride and groom.

Jaklyn, your FMIL is a 'special' kinda person.

Isn't she? Everyone wonders why I was so adamant that we used decorated wine bottles as part of the decor. She would be the reason why. I may as well pass off my wine consumption as part of the wedding planning right?

I've never heard of that. Especially since everyone has a specific seat and people will realize if there are a bunch of people standing around when everyone else is sitting and eating their dinner.

Also, if people didn't rsvp by the time that you have to give the vendor your final count, call them and ask if they are coming.

I've been to a wedding where they had a hostess checking names at the door. I didn't see a problem with it. The venue make it very clear they couldn't have over the allowed 250 people capacity. If it was over, they would risk the venue shutting down their reception because it was over the allowed capacity.

If you have friends and family who show up when they weren't INVITED because they feel entitled to attend your wedding, then you have insanely rude friends and family. I have never seen this except for perhaps the odd unexpected date / plus one showing up.

If this does routinely happen in your circle then maybe the check-in list is a good idea, along with a seating chart.

Yes I've been to weddings where people show up and they were not invited (they found out about the wedding through mutual friends and just decide to show up)/ bring their kids who the couple clearly stated could not come/ RSVP no but still show up...uhhh I hate it. I'm hoping that I don't encounter these issues.

So glad I don't have to worry about this. My local is almost an hour out of town in the woods, and unless you know how to get there or have exact directions, you won't find it.