People assuming they are invited

I think because you told her she was on the list you are obligated to bring her. You should have been honest upfront but now you're kind of stuck. The only way I can think to have you uninvite her is tell her that you had to cut your list down to 250 but if she finds out you had more her feelings are really going to be hurt.

I know I feel so dumb I didn't say anything. And it was funny in that text she said something else. And at first I didn't respond. And she said "ill pretend I'm not hurt by you ignoring my question about being invited" what was I supposed to do ahhhhh

You still have a year. Tell her that your guest list is just your first draft and that she is on that BUT you guys will be going over it to make it smaller. I would tell her that nothing is finalized yet as you still have to go over things. Make sure to not let her overhear or directly tell her anymore wedding details.

Claim that you both have giant extended families that have to be invited--this is true of FH's family, and we have approximately 110 people invited just in his family alone. And that's when we made cuts, too.

Unfortunately, I think Laudie is right.. =/

Don't let anyone guilt you into inviting them to your wedding! IDC if your list was 450,000 she should not have sent you that text. You didn't tell her your wedding details directly, you said she overheard. Which in my book means she was eavesdropping and she knew she was because she texted you instead of butting in the conversation and saying making that comment out loud.

When people asked me, "We haven't thought about that yet." "We're just enjoying being engaged for right now." "That's still on our to do list." Or anything that essentially doesn't answer their question.

With a guest list of 296, yeah, I can understand a friend of yours expecting to be on the list -- you can'd get away with saying you're having an intimate wedding, so you are risking slighting this friend if you invite all those other people but not her.

Even cutting the list down to 250, if you're not part of the Duggar family and keeping it family only, you may have to invite her.

You have almost a year to your wedding, so start practicing ways to deflect questions from anyone you aren't 100% sure you are inviting. It's possible that by the beginning of next year when you send out invites, YOU aren't even friends with the girl and you're off the hook.

Thanks ladies.. I actually have no problem invited her really but I can't tell her not to bring her husband. Can I just blame it on my FH lol

Can too. Tell her you've reserved one seat in her honor. xD No +1 for her!

...Okay, that might be a little rude, but she didn't ask for HIM to be invited! =)

^^^ true I'm kinda banking on her not having a sitter (no kids wedding)

Let me back up -- are you actually close friends with this girl? If she's overhearing things, you need to stop sharing things with people, period. And if she's overhearing rather than learning about it from YOU, I would question if she's a FRIEND or just an acquaintance.

Well We are in a social group together. I see her about 2-3 times a month. Fb friends. Really the only reason she wasnt on the list was her husband

Good point Reenski! If she is a friend I say just suck it up and invite her and her husband even though you don't want him there. It's probably not worth it to lose a friendship over one night where there will be so many people you probably won't notice him (let's hope) haha

She just heard the number. We played bunco last week and it was the first time my friends saw me since I became engaged. So all the girls were asking.

If you are just casual friends (which it sounds like) I would just invite her. But I'm pretty rude lol

Our stds are going out in August (we have alot of out of towners) so I should probably decide by then

Definitely practice deflecting -- you are already seeing what problems sharing details can cause.

If you aren't super close to anyone, don't invite them. If you think it would cause huge problems within your social group to not invite her (but invite everyone else), suck it up and invite her. With 200+ people, you'll likely be too busy to notice the obnoxious husband.

But otherwise, use the phrases I gave you, don't post details on FB, keep things to those that really need to know in order to save yourself more trouble going forward.

Eh, I wouldn't worry...a co-worker early on mentioned being a guest and I said yea...i don't feel obligated to do Sh*t.

Who knows what will happen in a year. I'm not worried.

in a year you might not even be talking to her. The key...don't talk about the wedding.

Only send STD's to your OOTers and VIPs. If they are local to the venue, 8 weeks notice (when you send the invites) is enough time to plan. Do NOT send STD's to anyone you aren't 150% sure about inviting, because once the STD's go out, your guest list count can only go higher, not down.

Thanks for the advice ladies. It looks like in gonna have to suck it up and invite her. I'm just too nice lol..

I've had so many people say things to me like "I better be invited!" At first I felt awkward and didn't know what to say...but now I feel that if they are going to be so bold as to say what they want, then I can say what I want...although I usually try to at least keep it nice lol!! Usually if they say that and they aren't on the invite list I will say "We really wish we could invite everyone but I have such a big family..." Just tell them the truth.

I do agree though, once you tell someone they are on the list...you pretty much have to stick with that. good luck!!