Pay for his family to fly to our wedding, should i really???

Well if you pay for their plane tickets.... who is going to pay for their hotel rooms? Just thinking once you get started paying for stuff when will it end.

Well thanks god my hubby made that statement to them that they had to pay for their stay. So that's taken care of. I look at how much we spending in tickets and all i think is omg thats alot of money but at the same time i wanted to get marry in PR which is my hometown i will have all my family but he wont i guess 4500 is enough for compromising and making up, right?

He hasnt said anything or complained. this is all me thinking....

I think is reasonable to pay for just their tickets and not their significant others, I myself am also from PR and wanted to have my wedding there but decided not to since I think it will be more convenient to have it here. Another thing you can do to compromise is pay for one way and they pay the other.

If you are demanding (not saying bridezilla, stomping your foot demanding) to get married in PR, then you should offer to at least assist in the travel costs of his family. If you were getting married in the states, it would be different. But PR has many more travel costs. I don't think it's innappropriate to at least help pay for their travel costs.

However, their significant others are family too. I think it would be appropriate to pay 1/2 the costs of the adults to travel (which would come out to paying for 1 family member).

No i am not demanding but my hubby knows me well and he knows how much i would love to get married in my hometown and that i have a larger family that all live in PR. i am ok pay for them but not their significant other except his mom and her husband. But thats for all the advise.

Another thought- what if it was your sister getting married in PR. Would you be willing to go and leave your FH home because they wouldn't pay for it? Whether you can financially afford to or not isn't the issue. Once you are married- you are a family. Those spouses you aren't paying for are family as well.

Instead of offering to pay for the sibling- I suggest offering to pay for half of their airfare- regardless of who attends. That's equivalent to one adult airline ticket, and doesn't exclude their spouse.

That's the thing there not spouses...none of his brothers are married to there significant others. And yes i have left my FH because i was the maid of honor of my best friend wedding, so he stayed...and i had to pay for all of my expensive which i did with alot of sacrifice because it was important for me to be there for her.

I think it's fine wanting to get married in your hometown..it's your hometown I could see if you were just going there only because you liked it and wanted others to pay too..but considering your family is there..I like the idea of paying for 1/2..how much is one ticket? Then it might come out to not as much as a ticket flying somewhere here..I think though it really depends on your budget and finances..Yes it may be a shame if some others couldn't come but you have to put you and FH and your children first (as I'm sure you know) in terms of not struggling for cash after the wedding..but if you two are comfortable I say it would be very nice to help pay..I say if it is a gf/bf of like 6 months or maybe use a year as cut off offer to help pay theirs.

I am from PR too, and will have my wedding there and I am not paying for any flights/hotels. We are paying for the wedding so his parents/relatives can use the money for their flights and lodging.

I really agree with you, because i have done the same in the past (flying to weddings OOT) and i have made a sacrifice because it really means a lot to me .. In those cases I would've never expected them to pay for me. That's why I'm letting everybody know in advance. By the way, where in PR are you marrying?

Can his family not afford it? Only reason I can see why you might pay their airfare. Would his parents and siblings not go if you don't pay? A lot of the brides are having Destination weddings because that's what they want and I highly doubt they are paying airfare for familiy members from both sides attend.

No i dont thinking his family would be able to afford air ticket and hotel. So they wont go and i dont want that because they are good people and they treat me like family

the ticket to PR form Milwaukee is like 360 round trip thats why we offer to pay their tickets but only their tickets. no hotels or anything else

I am getting married in Casea de Espana and you????

In Rincon of the Seas Hotel, west side right in front of the beach.!! Casa de España is gorgeous..Im so excited!!

Yeah me too...i am from san juan and since i can remember i always wanted to get marry in casa espana....i cant wait!

I guess I am the only selfish one but I would not pay for there spouses and would have a hard time paying for ALL of them as well....They have more than a year to save for their tickets.....unless they are just dirt poor and don't know where the next dollar is coming from to buy food

The traditional way of dealing with this is not to pay for their travel, but to have a second reception back in the groom's home town. Is that an option?

If thats the case that they wont be able to afford it I'll pay just for the parents , nobody else

Pay for his parents, sibilings and that's it ... not his aunts or uncles ... I'm sure you guys are on a tight budget and by paying for their tixs that's going to mean you have to cut back somewhere on the wedding ...

Ok, doing the math on this, it seems as though your are talking about him having roughly 12 people at the wedding where you might have double or triple that from your family. I don't think that is unreasonable. If he is not concerned about the price/cost and you can afford it, I think it would be a great gesture to him and his family (that by your own admission treats you well). I love that he is letting you have (not as in permission but giving you) your dream wedding location. That is truly sweet of him. I think you all paying for his family to come would be an awesome gesture. It would also allow your families the opportunity to meet and interact.

When I wanted to have a DW (before EVERYONE vetoed the idea -- they knew I wanted to do an elaborate elopement!) the plan was to fly in our parents, children, and BFFs on our dime.

So, if you can afford it, I say do it!