Parents Not Invited?

Don't invite would be my advice.

I think it is totally acceptable for you not invite someone who physically assualted you. If her mom wants to miss her daughter's wedding because of it, that is on her. Eta: Also, it is ridiculous for her step dad to demand you not invite her bio dad

Do not invite. Y'all are better off enjoying your evening with people who are there solely to celebrate with you. Recently my FSIL got married and her dad didn't come because step dad was invited. My FH walked her down the aisle and we all had an amazing night without thinking twice about the fact that their dad didn't show. It sucks, but you both will be fine without them there. It is truly their loss.

I wouldn't extend an invite

Yeah, that would be a big NO he is not invited and if you choose to miss it Mom, that's on you.

I agree, I wouldn't want someone there who assaulted me either. Advice - schedule a couples massage and forget about the whole thing for an hour. After you and your bride to be go out to dinner and discuss each option. Without knowing the family history its kinda hard to offer an further advice on the matter. Good luck with everything

I'm sorry that happened. We had problems with my MIL & she ended not attending. For the sake of your sanity, I would not invite your fiance's step dad. Everyone else, if they come, great. If not, that's their choice. Don't dwell on it. Stay focused on the getting married part & decide you're both going to have a great wedding no matter what! Good luck!

So sorry that you're dealing with this. Invite the ones who will make the day special. If her mother decides not to come it won't be the end of the world.

The stress of his company will just take away from your enjoyment. It's your wedding and if you would be happier without them, don't invite them.

Would your FW rather have her bio-dad or her step-dad in attendance?

We're leaning towards not inviting. So if we don't invite him, does any have any advise on what to say?

Definitely don't invite him. I wouldn't say anything initially - send an invitation to her mom only and if they call you to yell at you, say "we are unable to invite him due to his prior behavior towards me," and leave it at that. If her mom says she's not coming either, then "we are sorry to hear that and will miss you," and again, leave it at that. Don't engage, don't feel you have to justify any further, don't explain any more - just repeat the first phrase as often as necessary and stand your ground.

I second BeachDreams!

ETA: A simple "You're not welcome at my wedding" would suffice. As for the mother, I would say reiterate that if she is certain on skipping out on her child's wedding for the sake of her husband.

Exactly. "You're not welcome. We aren't comfortable with you around." And if FMIL decides not to come, unfortunately that's on her. You want people around to celebrate and love you. Don't let them bring down your day.

Also, not related, but let vendors comment on your posts. They give great advice and can't advertise!

At this point my fiancé still wants her mom there but she's said if we don't invite step-dad she won't come.. because she has to "stand by her husband"

We've see a counselor and they recommended we write them a little.. because let be honest, if we tell them face to face or text, it's going to cause a fight and add gas to the already burning fire of comments they've been making.

Comments they've been making? You mean during and after the assault, or prior to?

Assault is always an insta-uninvite, in my book; and I believe that's the majority opinion on here as well.

I would not invite him. I would however invite the mother. IF she chooses not to come its totally on her. If step dad asks questions, explain to him that when he assaulted you he lost the privelage to attend the wedding. Plan and simple.

I wouldn't invite, and her mom is gunna look like the jerk for not coming

Jay, since the assault. Although they have never said anything to me... only remarks to my fiancé

@Michael it sounds really painful the situation that you and your fiancé have in your hands. As a woman, I understand the position of MIL standing by her husband's side, but this is the wedding of her daughter, how could she miss that special day? As far as her stepfather, the letter is a good idea but that will also leave in the air that you guys didnt even have the courage to say it face-to-face, I would say that the bio father is as important as the step-father, and make it clear that the bio-father will attend, also mention that you dont feel comfortable with the man who assaulted you being in your own wedding.... really it is a hard situation and all we can do for you guys is pray and hope everything will go great on your special day!

Well if someone assaulted me and still needed me to say something to let them know they weren't invited to my wedding I would probably go with something like "fuck off and die" but that's me