Parents names on the invitations

I think it just depends on the person. We were going to put my dads name but he did not want it. For me personally it is not wort a fight over.

View Quoted Comment We weren’t fighting about it or anything. More curious than anything because my mom remembered it being a thing when she got married in 1983. So, she was curious if it was still a thing and I had never seen or heard of it so I was also curious.

I have never heard of this before

View Quoted Comment Https://www.elegantweddinginvites.com/

thus is where i got them 😄

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment

I have never heard of this. Wedding favors? That's a very minor part. You said the wedding is at your future in-laws house? If anything, they should be on the invitation. However, if you are paying for everything, then it's fine to have you and your FH's name alone. Typically, whoever pays is the one hosting (and inviting others) to the event.

But, if you want to make your parents feel included, then yes, Together With Their Families is a good solution!

I had my mom’s name on the invitation(dad is deceased) but she is helping out a lot financially.

We Included our parents names but only because they are paying for a HUGE portion of our wedding.

Invite

We weren't going to put our parents names on the invites. Then both sets offered to help pay partially. So we added "Together with their Parents" at the top. I think it's a small thing and that it made our parents happy they were included, but honestly? It caused issues too when my parents have been consitently helping pay and FH's parents haven't really contributed. All in all though, I would say it's a small price to pay to make family happy.

Also, I printed my own invitations, with a kit from Gartner Studios (Got 3 - 50 pc sets that came with 50 RSVP cards as well from Walmart) well before I got engaged even. Printed them about 6 months out, so though you're excited, I would say to hold off just a bit. I'm glad we did because our date wound up changing!

Traditionally, it was the "hosts" of the wedding whose names were at the top, and that typically meant the bride's parents, as it was traditional for the brides parents to pay for the wedding. However, in modern wedding times, that isn't done as much anymore. Many couples are paying for their own weddings, and as such, don't feel the need to put their parents' names on the invitations.

At this time, I see it as a personal preference. If you want to put your parents' names on the invite, you can, as in "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Susie Ann, to Michael Jones....."

We are a bit less traditional than that, so we're going with this: "Together with their families, you are invited to celebrate the marriage of Cristy and Michael........"

I always just assumed that if you and your fiance are paying for everything yourself then parents don't need to be named on the invite. That's what we're doing anyway, as it's just the 2 of us paying for the wedding.

I know you had tons of responses on that and I am agreeing with that, unless your parents are paying for the wedding their names do not need to be on the invite.

In the older days, the brides parents paid for the wedding, which meant they were hosting and why their names went on the invites. Now days, so many couples are paying for their own weddings that I think that died out for the most part a while ago. It is really up to you. It is your wedding and your invitations but if they are hosting aka paying for the wedding, you probably should have their names on the invitations but it is definitely not required.

View Quoted Comment They aren’t paying for the wedding at all. The most they are doing is providing the favors, which I guess I could count as helping to pay for the wedding. However, my in-laws are providing us with the venue, which could count the same way. I think the safest option would be to put “together with their families” just so that no ones names are specified on it, but no one is excluded either.

We won’t have our parents names on the invitation because we are paying for everything ourselves. Traditionally whoever is “hosting” or paying for the wedding will have their name included on the invitation, but I’m not in favor of doing things just to stay in line with tradition. I’m a more modern bride haha

We didn't put our parents names on our invitations, ours say "Please join us for the wedding celebration of" and then it has mine and FHs names

This is what our invite looks like right now. I think we’ll keep it this way unless something happens.

Katelyn, I think you are spot on with your logic and conclusion! And I too hope that your in-laws place doesn't burn down--that sentence totally made me laugh!

Upon reading your initial inquiry, I knew exactly where your mom was coming from. Yes, as many have already commented, the tradition has to do with who is paying, and therefore hosting, a wedding. But deeper than that, it came from back when young ladies basically went from being under their father's roof to being under their husband's, some with university sandwiched in between. The brides father (parents) hosted the wedding and gave their daughter to the man who had asked for her hand, and won her heart. This is also why the bribe's parents were listed first on the invites.

Fast forward to when your mom got married, her world was very different from the root of the tradition , yet close enough that it was still "a thing".

In today's world, the majority of young ladies go off to college and then go on to live intendant from their parent's homes and financial support. It's more common they establish their careers and then decide to marry. They are older, and may have even set up home with FH, and it's the two of them planning and paying for their own wedding..... You get the picture, simply very far removed now from the root of the tradition.

https://www.thespruce.com/estimated-median-age-marriage-2303878

View Quoted Comment It is not necessary. And for some of us, presenting ourselves as independent people now getting married, rather than someone's grown children getting married, is an important distinction. So not having parents names is fine. Usually people do not order invitations too far ahead, because an incredibly high number of people change either the time, the date, or the place, up to about 6 months before the wedding. Not just changes from you, but venues get sold, or remodel, and change all contracts from previous owner, or other things that would mean scrapping your invitations. Then paying for new ones with the correct time, date, place. Decide what you want, but do not place the order yet .

As a general rule, I've heard that it depends on who is paying for the majority of the wedding. If they're paying for the majority then their names go on the invites, but if you and your fiance are then you can leave them out. Ultimately its up to you though.