Katelyn
Devoted October 2020

Parents names on the invitations

Katelyn, on August 19, 2019 at 6:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 52
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So, my mom is doing the favors for my wedding and while we were discussing the wedding favors we got onto the topic of the invites. My fiancé and I already picked out our invites and are getting ready to order them so that we have them for when we want to send them out. However, while talking to my mom last night she said that her and my father’s names had to be on the invites. Her reasoning was that it was the parents of the bride giving her away (and my dad is walking me down the aisle). However, I was wondering if anyone else had heard of this or if it’s just something that died out after my mom got married?

52 Comments

  • Courtney
    Rockstar December 2019
    Courtney ·

    We opted for a more conventional opening to our invitations. We're paying for about 90% of the wedding ourselves and FH comes from a blended family.

    Parents names on the invitations 1


  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    Specifying their names typically means that they're the ones hosting. Are your parents paying for the wedding? If they're not and you still want to be inclusive, I would say something like "Together with their families..." I would strongly advise against ordering invitations over a year out though.

  • Florida Marlins
    Devoted October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree, wait a year before ordering, Your taste will change.

    If you and groom are paying, you get to say. If your parents are paying more, they are inviting people. If everyone is paying, use: "Together with their families" or "Together with their parents"

    Please do NOT stress on something people get, take a picture of for their phones to remember the dates and times and then recycle.

  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    No, we are planning and paying for 100% of our wedding. Also, we are ordering them to come to us, not to be sent out a year early. We aren’t sending them out for quiet some time actually. Also it was just something my mom mentioned, she was okay with us not putting their names on the invites. I thought it was weird when she said that because while I love my parents, I don’t want to put their names on the invites because I kind of don’t see the point.
  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
    Our parents contributed different amounts to our wedding, so our invites also used "Together with their families...".
  • Monique
    Rockstar December 2019
    Monique ·
    I put my parents names on the invites out of respect to them. They had asked about it and it is a tradition in our family outside of the actual wedding being paid for so their names are on the invite tradition. If they have a good reason and you do not have an issue with it then go ahead and do it 😄

    Parents names on the invitations 2
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks, I wasn’t so much stressing, more curious. I just wanted to know if it was a thing. I wasn’t sure if their names went on for any particular reason or anything.
  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I understand that you're ordering your invitations. I still wouldn't do it this early. Things can change in a year. Your venue could burn down, your ceremony time could change, etc.

  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks, I certainly hope my in-laws house doesn’t burn down. That would make planning this all the more stressful. However, I see your point and thank you for sharing
  • Andrea
    Devoted May 2020
    Andrea ·
    It depends who is hosting the wedding. My fiancé and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves and will only be putting our names on our invitations to invite our guests. If your parents didn’t pay for it, it’s not their party to invite anyone to no matter how important their role is. My mom is my best friends and the most important person to me (besides my fiancé) and her name will not be on the invitation. Hope that helps!
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I like your invitation! My fiancé and I are paying for 100% of our wedding (we are trying to keep it under like 5,000 if we can, but we’ll kind of see where the planning takes us). I was just kind of curious and wondering what other people were doing
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    It’s the same with my fiancé and I, we are paying for our wedding. I was curious whether or not this was a thing people did or if there was a reason better than the one my mom gave me. My mom is also my best friend (besides my fiancé) and while I would love to honor her, I just don’t think her or my dads names belong on the invites because we are paying for our wedding ourselves.
  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
    We haven't decided on the wording on invites yet but I personally feel it should be up to the couple. Old school rules say this and that about what it should say depending on who pays for the wedding when really it's no ones business who paid for the wedding. Go with your gut.
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2020
    Samantha ·
    Specifying names is a little old fashioned but I still see it. It’s normally reserved for when the bride’s family is paying, otherwise “together with their families” or just the couples name is fine.
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    My mom is saying that since she’s doing the favors she thinks their names should go on the invites, but idk. I might do the Together with their family thing just so that we don’t exclude my fiancé’s family, because following my moms logic since they are providing the venue they should also get a mention. So, probably the together with their family option will be better because it’s all inclusive.
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    If you are going to put your parents’ names on the invitation but your in laws are hosting the wedding at their house, I hope you are planning to put your in laws’ names on the invite too!
  • Katelyn
    Devoted October 2020
    Katelyn ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I hadn’t even thought about putting any other names than mine and my fiancé’s on the invites until my mom mentioned it last night. I think I’m going to play it safe though and do “Together with their family” just so I don’t exclude anyone. Cause I would most definitely feel bad if I put my mom and dads names on the invites, but not my future in-laws who are literally giving us the venue!
  • Andrea
    Devoted May 2020
    Andrea ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Exactly. 💗
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2020
    Samantha ·
    View Quoted Comment
    My parents are chipping in and we’re paying for the rest ourselves. FH’s parents are not, when I asked my mom about the invitations she said the polite thing to do, even when the families aren’t paying, is to include them on the invitations. It doesn’t matter to me how we do them, so if it makes the families happy we’ll just stick with that.
  • C
    Dedicated April 2020
    Courtney ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I love this invite! Where did you get it?

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