PA/NJ/NY low budget venue suggestions - backyards, barns etc

That's going to be tough; most vacation rentals aren't keen on holding weddings on their properties. There is simply too much liability at stake.

Cut the guest list for sure, because the venue is just the start.

Look at the Hird Lake Spa (they do their own catering, but they are very reasonable)

Camp Kickabear

Valley Crest Farm

Raritan Inn (they have a barn space)

Mountain Lake House (princeton)

But before you get too into this, get some quotes for catering, because I can tell you that it's going to be more than you think.

Thank you Celia! My dad is a chef and has offered to take care of the catering for us, that's why it's really important to find a place that will let us handle it ourselves. I will check out all these places, looks like a promising list!

Also, that makes sense about the liability issue - I hadn't thought of that.

Your dad is a guest of honor. He shouldn't work your wedding, nor should any other family member.

Your dads going to miss so much of the day if he's responsible for the food! Please reconsider.

We looked at about 50 venues online, in 3 states - including 2 on your list. I don't think a single one allowed an outside caterer, that wasn't on their approved list; they were all licensed, insured, etc.

Don't let your dad do that, honestly. I was a caterer, I married my chef, and we spent most of the time in the kitchen. It was zero fun for us. No one died, because we are good at this, but if I did it again, I'd hire someone.

Hird Lake might be a great find for you; their in house catering is very reasonable, and I've done several weddings there where the couples brought in some extra apps and booze. It's rustic, but it's very, very sweet.

I forgot the Englewood Womens Club. It's the carriage house from an estate, and it's lovely. It has a decent kitchen too.

Have you considered any camps or small colleges? Many have lovely grounds and kitchen facilities.

Listen to Celia she knows her stuff.

Here's the write up from my under 6k garden party wedding:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/our-6k-budget-garden-party-cermony-reception-bam-pro/5f8cc09ac54ca741.html

We did so much work to make it come in at that price-point.

Best of luck

Well, our plan is to do a buffet style meal with pretty simple fare -- so once all the food was put in the chafing dishes my dad's work would be over. We also want to do an intimate ceremony (wedding party and immediate family only) the night before - basically in lieu of a rehearsal dinner - so we'd have all morning on the day of the reception to prepare. But I will definitely talk it over with my dad and make sure that we can plan it in a way that allows him to enjoy the day to the fullest.

Thanks Kels that's super helpful! Sounds very similar to what we have in mind. What was the venue that you used?

You're not going to get 100 people fed and "watered" well in NJ with 5K.

I spent over twice that for 29 people- and we had a very lovely and well put together evening with minimal frills. It was full of delicious food alcohol in a beautiful venue which meant I cut out a lot of decorating- but everything else was pared down tremendously.

You should cut your guest list down 3/4 of what it is and go from there. You'll be much happier that you did.

$5,000 might be pushing it. I also agree with previous posters - do not have your dad cater, even if he says he'd like to. I get that he's a chef and probably cooks delicious food and it SEEMS like a simple task - prep, cook, set in dishes, and you're done, but it's not. The dishes will need to be kept at the proper temperatures and when one dish runs out, it'll need to be refilled... And that will continue the entire day/evening. Please hire a caterer and staff to take care of this so all your friends and family can just enjoy such a special day.

Chafing dishes don't cut it.

Your dad shouldn't work your wedding. Hire a caterer. Not family or friends.

You really think the "work" is over after putting the food in the chafing dishes. Will he be able to even attend your ceremony or will be to busy prepping to get food out and ready for reception. ? Making your dad cater sounds like a horrible idea. Whos going to clean up? Whos going to box up leftover food? Whos going to restock food when pans get low. Because feeding 100 the pans dont refill themselves

Your dad will be watching those chafers like a hawk all night, and he WILL be in the kitchen. I know I would.

Hire someone.

Just have your intimate ceremony and celebrate that night with them. Send everyone else a wedding announcement.

Or you can push back the date to properly host them

I am getting married in PA! Our venue is in Clarion/Shippeville. It can fit up 300 I believe.

Its called Anchor Village, it's an old train pump station. It's a blank canvas. You can rent chairs, or she provides some tables and chairs if needed. You BYOB and BYOC and basically BYO everything. We love it. It's adorable and has some much character and you can transform it into anything you want. The venue is ours from Friday at 6 a.m. to Sunday at 6 a.m. for set up and tear down. We plan to do all the set up Friday, have a rehearsal dinner at the space (pizza!) and then do a sip n see later in the evening with out of town guests at a bar.

We're hoping to keep it under 5K, our venue was only $800 so that saved us a crap ton of money. We've hired a food truck to provide our food ($9 a plate for 100 people). My dress was about $500. Decorations should be a little less than $1,100. Fiances parents are paying for the alcohol but we've included that in our budget. We're now thinking it'll fall under 4K.

Depending on what you want, under 5K for the whole wedding isn't too hard. You can do it.

Thanks for your input, guys. My plan has always been to hire a couple people to man the buffet/drink stations and clean up after the meal, I should have mentioned that. My dad truly will only supply the food, I would have paid help to take care of everything once the party gets going so that no one has to miss out. He'll have all morning and afternoon to prepare for the reception and then hand over the reins. Does that change anyone's opinion? I know this is something of a hot button issue on this forum and I do totally understand where you guys are coming from, but I feel like hiring some helpers is a good compromise. It may also bear mentioning that my dad has a ton of experience catering weddings and other large events.