Hi lovelies! I am really struggling right now and hope someone can relate and help. I have been with my fiance for 11 years, engaged for 2. My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer right after I began planning originally so I put things on hold. I had gotten off my antidepressants around the same time because I felt I no longer needed them. I overcame a lot this last year to try and heal from the meds. (I had a bad withdrawal coupled with external stress).
I struggled with the idea of elopement vs a wedding because of money and my anxiety issues.
We decided last week to hire a wedding planner for a 20 person intimate ceremony in my grandpas backyard. I can just barely afford it. I am planning it in a 3 month period because of my mothers health. As soon as I signed the contract I became overwhelmed with dread and worry. Which turned to horrifying panic. I ended up with severe stomach issues which havent ended. My anti anxiety meds dont help.
I saw my doctor and she gave me a script for the med I was on previously. I am so scared it will not work in time, or make things worse for me. I also am scared to start a med just because of a trigger like this. But I want to be able to enjoy my day and the planning and be able to function for work. Right now I literally cannot.
Has anyone had to get on an antidepressant to get through their wedding? I'm feeling extremely ashamed and weak. I know it will go by so fast and I am so grateful but it is deteriorating my health which I worked so hard to build up.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. I am in therapy, do yoga, meditate, take supplements, good diet, no alcohol and I still cant shake this.
Should I keep riding it out? Or does it usually get worse the closer to the wedding you get? Much thanks and love.