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Just Said Yes April 2024

Overseas Wedding - inviting guests to shower but not the wedding

Hannah, on August 21, 2023 at 6:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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I'm getting married in the UK next year but live in the US. My FMIL wants to throw a shower for me here in the US and invite people who aren't invited to the wedding (such as her close friends etc).

We are also having a party here in the US which they WILL be invited to (catered/open bar/entertainment).
My FH doesn't really care for tradition etc so I was hoping this forum might give me a gut check on if this is ok or rude? [I haven't been to a tonne of showers so really don't know if there is wiggle room on the don't invite them to the shower if they're not going to the wedding rule.]

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4 Comments

Latest activity by CM, on August 21, 2023 at 9:53 PM

Champion December 2022
Michelle · on August 21, 2023 at 6:27 PM
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It’s a faux pas to invite people to pre wedding parties but not the actual wedding. It sends the message that they are good enough to buy a gift but not attend the wedding. The only time this is acceptable is when coworkers host a shower.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on August 21, 2023 at 6:44 PM
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That's an etiquette no no. It's considered rude to invite people to pre-wedding events but not to the wedding.
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on August 21, 2023 at 8:52 PM
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I'm afraid there's no wiggle room unless you want to come across as rude to your guests. Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events
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CM · on August 21, 2023 at 9:53 PM
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The shower would not be appropriate unless they are invited to your wedding. People who want to send you an engagement and/or wedding gift can figure it out for themselves without a shower.
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