Open Invite to the Wedding BUT Invite Only Reception ???

I think this is kind of tacky, to be honest. If you're inviting people to the ceremony, you should invite the same people to he reception. How can someone be important enough to share in your vows, but not important enough for you to buy them a meal?

I would be VERY offended if someone invited me to their wedding and not the reception. I personally don't think this is a very good idea

I have to agree with the other two ladies. Everyone who was sent an invite is invited to the reception afterwards. If I didn't want someone coming to celebrate this new life that I am entering then I wouldn't want them to witness the very first moment.

I would be offended if I got an invite to your wedding and was chatting with a few other guest and found out they were invited to the reception and I wasn't.

Are you having a church wedding? Do you mean an open invite for church members to attend the ceremony? Because that's a whole different beast from just an open invite to the ceremony, closed invite to the reception.

If it's church, normally all church members are welcome to attend all church functions -- you wouldn't have invites for members, it would just be in a church bulletin or some such.

But if you formally invite someone to the ceremony, it's extremely rude for them to not also be invited to the reception. And you'll get a ton of the same reaction on these boards. Use the search function on the top right to search for your question and you'll see that doing this is a huge no-no.

I agree if they are important enough for me to invite them to witness my vows, then they are important enough for me to have at the reception.

I agree-it's tacky unless Reenski's explanation applies.

I can definitely see how someone would be offended. I've actually known people to not attend the wedding at all because they were not invited to the reception. But what about brides on a budget who want to extend (maybe not physically mail out a formal invite) an invitation to the ceremony to lots of people (church members, neighbors etc). Those people you may know but aren't exactly close to you. I think people would be more offended if they found out you got married and didn't even tell them about lol. At the end of the day you cant please everyone ***shrugs shoulders***

You can't, but the way to avoid this is to only invite people to the ceremony that aer invited to the reception.

FH and I are having our Catholic/legal ceremony here in DC before we leave for our DW in PR the Sunday before. We will be having it during our regular noon mass, so everyone will be there. Then we're having cake and champagne for just our family in the rec room after. That's how we have countered this problem.

Are you having a church wedding? I have seen this done at my church. Usually in the program we get at Sunday service, there is an announcement saying that there will be a wedding held at the church, all church members are welcome to attend and that the couple will have a private reception afterward for invited family and friends. I don't believe that the couples actually send out separate invitations for folks to only attend the ceremony.

Terribly tacky. If they aren't important enough to break bread with and don't "make the cut", why would it matter if they're at the ceremony?

Agreed with all of the above. An acquaintance of mine is actually doing that; one invite for the ceremony and 'dessert/celebration' and a complete one that invites to the entire event. I'm sorry..but it's tacky. I haven't seen the invite yet (I'm curious as heck to see how she worded it.) I'd expect lots of hurt feelings and blowback from those that received the restricted invitation. How do you accept gifts from all but only allow certain people to attend both? (referring to my example). I'm only too glad not to be invited to either. From what I understand, dinner is buffet style and a mix of mexican fare and middle eastern. We're not talking lobster and prime rib, etc.

That's what a wedding announcement is for: informing those who were not invited (like church members and neighbors) that you were married.

@Reenski...That's exactly what I had in mind ! Church members are open to come to church functions...but how do you NOT offend when they figure out they aren't invited to the reception...?

@DonnaBelle...Great Suggestion!!

@Brittney, church members don't get a formal invite, so you're clear with those folks.

As for everyone else, I'll use Celia's example -- would you take that person out to dinner at the total cost you'll be at for them for your wedding? If food, invites, chair rentals, etc. come out to $100/person, would you happily take them out to dinner at that cost?

I'm on a budget. I can't invite everyone I kinda talk to. Oh, well. I'm more concerned with the money being spent than the feelings of people that I'm not all that close to. I'd rather be a little disappointed to not be invited to a wedding than pissed off that you only invited me to one part.

It's terribly rude to invite to wedding and not reception with a formal invite. If you post it in a church bulletin that is different, but there will always be people who are offended that they weren't invited to the reception. If they approach you and ask why they weren't invited to the reception, just say that it will be a small affair with mostly just family. No matter what you do, there are always people who will find offense in any situation.

Just saw your new posts -- they aren't formally invited to the ceremony, so they shouldn't be surprised to not be invited at all to the reception. I'm not church going, but I would think that would be fairly common at churches.

If it's just in the church bulletin, it's on them to come or not come, no formal invite, so no reason to expect to go to a reception.

Some people have cake/cookie and punch receptions at church in these cases -- perhaps that's something you could do?

@LMBO...True. Great advice Thanks !!

In my opinion, tiered weddings are not just tacky but rude. Besides, the point of a reception is to thank the guests for coming to the ceremony.

@All the ladies...Maybe I should have worded my post differently ?? I basically meant people who wouldn't get a formal invite...You gals are giving it to me straight w/no chaser LMBO. Love the discussion !