Open Ceremony, private reception

She can't. It's offensive period.

That's kind of backwards.....Most people have a private ceremony and open reception. How would she explain coming to the ceremony but not being invited to the reception to follow

Nope. don't do it. Why would you ask friends and family to get dressed up and waste a Saturday to watch a marriage ceremony and not reward them with a party after? If she wants a private reception then the ceremony should be private as well.

Is the open ceremony something where church members are invited to the ceremony instead of getting formal invitations? If it's one of those deals, she could have cake and punch for the church members, and then a reception for those formally invited.

Otherwise, Mrs. S is right.

Nope, Sorry - no way to not hurt feelings.

The Only way to do it would be to have an open ceremony - a Dessert and Punch reception in the fellowship hall to greet the guests and THEN the Private dinner reception later. She needs to have some kind of reception for the guests that are invited to the ceremony.

Nope....wrong in every way.

That's what i said, then after further questioning she said she is planning a beach party for all those who were not invited. I'm not sure how to get it across to her. i told best just go private all around and if u wanna do an beach thing for the family members that flew in, no prob.

I think i should also mention that where we come from ppl mostly come to wedding for the "feast house"(thats what we call receptions) they dont care about the ceremony,(which is down right rude) some persons don't even go to the ceremony they just show up at the reception

Although this is not the optimum way to handle most weddings, reenski has an idea. if the ceremony is at your church and you have a lot of member that would want to attend the ceremony, hold the ceremony early in the day with a "cookies and punch" dessert reception. this used to be done alot 30 years ago. tea sandwiches, cookies and punch

Suggest she simply cut the guest list to those she would invite to the reception (and who presumably would also show up to the ceremony). Keep it to the people that actually matter. If people only care about the reception, they may show up at the reception even if they aren't invited.

You can let her know that what will most likely happen is guests will come to the ceremony and then here others talking about the reception and one of two things will happen.

A. They show up to the reception because they received the info of where it is from other guests and then a whole awkward/angry moment will ensue when there is no seat or food for them.

B. The guest will be pissed and a confrontation is bound to follow and possibly at that very moment.

She needs to invite only those people who will attend both. You can't have it both ways. I would be extremely miffed if I attended a ceremony and bought a gift and then find out everyone else is going to the reception and I am not invited.

If you have guests flying in you have to invite them to main reception!

planning a wedding weekend and not inviting guest to the main event doesn't work. it is best to pair down the numbers and only invite reception guests to ceremony.

only excption is what i mentioned about inviting your entire church membership to service, if that is customary at your hurch. otherwise, pair down the guest list. ask her why she want to have all those people at her wedding?