Open bar disagreement...

View Quoted Comment Yessss it was getting bonkers! Lol. He just compromised with our colors. And when I say compromise, I mean- finally let it go as whatever I wanted. I offered to pay him whatever he thought he would make, thinking he’d let it go and it be complete open bar... didn’t work out like that. But yes thank you for your response.

View Quoted Comment Can you just tell him it’s not a profit making enterprise LOL.

View Quoted Comment Lmbo!! I absolutely will!! Thanks for your response!

View Quoted Comment I think everyone has a “huh, I had no idea you felt so strongly about this” thing that comes up in wedding planning.
I had no idea my FH thinks “blush” is a terrible color. I do now LOL

View Quoted Comment Tell me about it!! My color is Mauve- same family as blush and he’s just like this is an awful color😩

I have to be honest with you, my fiancé and I attended a wedding where the drinks are cheap, but people automatically assume that drinks are included at weddings so a lot of people didn’t bring cash. It was also a Cash only bar. My fiancé and I ended up just buying everyone drinks the whole night because we were the only ones that actually brought cash. The safest bet for everyone to have a good time is just pay for the open bar

Yikes, cash bars aren't the greatest, and I prefer open bars, but this is a different level. As someone else said, this is the exact equivalent of charging people for drinks when you invite them over to your house. Because that money is going to you. At a regular cash bar, that money is collected by the venue, so while it isn't great, it at least isn't the couple trying to profit off their friends and family. Also, as others have mentioned, this may not be legal. A licensed bartender is licensed to serve alcohol. The selling of alcohol is a different story. The person selling it (i.e. the one who gets the cash) needs to have a liquor license allowing for the sale of alcohol. I would check the laws in your state because having a licensed bartender may not meet the legal requirements for you to sell alcohol at your wedding. But seriously, talk to your fiance. If guests find out that the cash bar was used to "fund your honeymoon," they may be very upset. I know we generally give about $200+ as a wedding gift, and at least in my region, that's pretty standard. So, you'll probably end up with quite a bit of cash without having to be rude to your guests.

View Quoted Comment Thank you did your response!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much! And I agree, it’s very rude! Also, people do generally give monetary wedding gifts. I’ll bring that up when I show him responses

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO !!!!!!!!!!!! Do no ask your guests to pay for their drinks during your wedding it is extremely tacky and rude, Pay for the drinks for your guests

Yikes, your FH's plan is so inappropriate, not to mention tacky and rude. Sounds like he's trying to use your wedding to make a profit, which is just sleazy. I hope you show him these responses!

View Quoted Comment I totally agree! Thank you for your response!

View Quoted Comment Yes ma’am! I definitely intend on it! Thanks for your response!

Ugh yeah, this kills me! I am very against cash bars! Inviting friends and family to your wedding means that you are hosting them. You should not ask your guests to pay for anything! If you can’t afford it or don’t feel like paying for an open bar, then don’t have it—have a dry wedding or beer/wine only or signature drink only, etc. I have a sense that he wants to be able to drink top shelf liquor but doesn’t want to pay for the open bar for your guests because it seems like a lot of money. But that is very tacky and rude. Like someone else mentioned, this is not a “decision” that you compromise on. Yes, you can decide together if you want to have an open bar or not, but he has no right to claim that he wants to make the decision to charge guests. This is not a decision like choosing your wedding colors or food options. You don’t get to choose to be a bad host. I get it—weddings are expensive! In many cities, open bars can be $10k+ alone. But when you decide to have a large wedding with all of the traditional elements, you are signing up for all of the costs. You cannot charge people to offset your expenses. It even sickens me when people try to calculate how much money they’ll receive in gifts to offset their wedding expenses. YOU are the ones getting married and YOU both decided to HOST a wedding. If you don’t want the costs, then elope or do something smaller or don’t have the open bar. But you should not charge your guests! Sorry for the rant but I went through something like this with a family member’s wedding years ago and people are still upset about it (not a cash bar issue but finding ways to overcharge guests to offset costs). I’m with you girl!

That's a hard no in my book. As others mentioned you wouldn't invite people to your house for a dinner party and then charge for drinks. People expect 2 main things when coming to a wedding......food and drinks. I personally would elope before I had a wedding and asked to charge my guests for drinks. My mom and I went to a wedding 15 years ago where they only had $500 allotted for the bar which was used up in about 15 minutes and the rest of the night was a cash bar......we still talk about! Not to mention, people may not stick around as long

Yeah, this is gonna be a HARD NO for me. Please try not to do this.


First, his pricing doesn’t even make sense— how can you justify a flat fee of $5 per drink? What if I don’t want 1942 and just want a coors lite? I’d feel cheated for having to pay the same as top shelf liquor.
Also, not everyone carries cash. Do you have a credit card swiper for those that don’t have cash? Will you be telling people ahead of time to bring cash to your wedding? That’s a whole other awkward situation you’ll have to deal with. Who wants to tell guests, “please bring cash! Drinks will be $5 each!” Guests will probably already be talking once they get to the wedding and see it’s a cash bar, but trust me— if you tell them ahead of time.... they will DEFINITELY be talking before that.
whose going to be collecting this money? Since it’ll be in cash, how do you know the bartender won’t be pocketing some of it?
On the subject of bartenders, will they be getting tipped? So will guests be expected to pay $5+tip? Or will you be paying the tip?
Please don’t let him do this. Lol.

View Quoted Comment

Most allow for a cash bar - but not for *you* to profit on the alcohol sales - that's where your legalities will come in. They can sell alcohol because they have a license - but this sounds like you and your fiance would be providing the alcohol and then charging for it, which is a different kettle of fish (and was also why I was trying to make sure I understood the situation).

Either way - a cash bar is kind of tacky . . . but worse if it's tacky *and* you end up with big fines.

We have been to one cash bar and it screams the bride and groom went broke... or invited too many guests and are trying to make up for their mistake lol I would be too embarrassed to do something like this... I would suggest talking to him again about it and not allowing it to happen 😶

My fiancé and I are on a tight budget, but we still want to give our guests at least one drink that we pay for. We are deciding to do a ticket bar, so each guest will get one drink on us and then the rest will be a cash bar.

I would never charge my guests for drinks. You are hosting the party. If I were a guest at a wedding and had to pay, my time spent there would be limited. I don't want to worry about carrying cash and having pay for drinks and tip. I would also spend less on a gift for the couple.