Oops getting married during lent

View Quoted Comment I don't judge Catholics on the way they choose to practice their faith. I abstain from all meat but I know plenty of Catholics who don't. I'm just telling her what worked for my wedding.

You didn’t have a vegetarian option?

Re the comment about catering to dietary preferences, I don't think there is any obligation to provide fish. But I think it is standard to at least provide a vegetarian option, which would be suitable for vegetarians as well people with various other religious reasons that prohibit certain types of meat and/or meat during certain times of the year. I would be surprised if the venue couldn't provide a vegetarian option. If they can't do an elaborate vegetarian option, they should be able to at least do something basic like not add sausage to the pasta.

I just feel like you missed the opportunity to have a really awesome fish fry. I'm in Wisconsin and we love our Friday night fish fry's, especially during lent! Let us know what happens after you talk to the caterer. Hope it all works out, and trust me, it will be funny some day.

View Quoted Comment I’m not sure I understand your question but you said you were having a family style meal (you actually called it "plated family stye" which is contradictory so I’m not sure which you mean!), but if it is family style, all three options (beef, chicken, vegetarian) would all be on the table, so those who wanted vegetarian would just eat that, not the meat. As far as I know, for family style meals the caterer provides enough for all guests to have some of everything, so you don’t need to provide a head count for each option.

Not sure about at your venue, but at mine since we had a plated meal we were required to have a seating chart (just tables assigned, not individual seats) and escort cards so the serving staff knew how many of each dish went to which table, and who at the table they went to.

If you are having a plated meal you might want to check with your venue if you need to have a seating chart (at least tables assigned). Even if they don't though I would still recommend assigning tables to reduce seating chaos!

Perhaps changing the menu is still an option. Most places will order food 7 days before a caterimg event and allow you to change your order up until that point. So get on it quick but I don't think you are beyond the point of finding some options. Find a fish dish, or pasta entree for those observing lent.

Our venue is unique in how they do family style. The meal is plated except the pasta. Nothing gets passed except that everything else is plated as if it were a sit down dinner but it's unlimited which is what we loved about it.
I'm defiantly going to ask about vegan or adding fish to the menus.

A dispensation is a possibility. I would eat the meat rather than make my hosts feel bad. Yes, it's an expectation on Fridays, but I've seen dispensations for so many reasons, that I would be ok with choosing what is right for the occasion and circumstance. It can't hurt to speak when your caterer though.

White meat is not acceptable.
I would see about adding a vegetarian option. I strictly follow the Lent guidelines. It's important to me and I'd hope my host would have something for me to eat.

Contact the venue ASAP and ask them if you can add a vegetarian option. It is probably going to cost you a pretty penny, but it will be better in the long run.

I orginially only had meat on our menu too (to my knowledge we don't have anyone vegetarian or vegan coming), but on the RSVP I decided to put a "other please specify" just in case and then if it comes back with anything I will make sure to tell the catering company so we can get it changed ASAP.

Wait so people pre-selected meals already????
then this is super not your problem for those who have and not questioned it.
I still think you should make the pasta vegetarian or add another pasta that is.
To the family that spoke to you, you should be able to order them a vegetarian meal just like you have/will for the vegetarian guest.

Agree with going with a vegetarian option.

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From what I've gathered this is a duo plated meal of chicken and beef with passed sausage and pasta. No meal choice was needed on the RSVP, so guests were not given any options. This is why a guest reached out to OP to ask about the menu.

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But if OP had a line for dietary needs/restrictions on the RSVP then people should have noted that so she would have a chance to make accommodations with the caterer. It's not her job to know what other people's religious requirements are. As others said, I would ask the caterer to make one dish vegetarian and then people can choose to eat the meat or not. Is there a way to find out how many people would want another meal? It's possible a number of people will still choose to eat the meat.

Could you contact your caterer and see what options they can suggest for this. Perhaps maybe changing one protein for a fish might be possible

I'm really not understanding. OP, could you take a moment to explain a little further?

It sounds like your meals are a standard plated option...with both meats on the plate? And pasta on the side as "family style"?'

Did guests already pre-select their meal option? If so, how is this working if you don't have a seating chart?

They can eat chicken during lent. Just not beef. Maybe look into fish?

Most caterers go around and take orders to see if anything has changed since the rsvps. Maybe ask if they can do that and mention the vegetarian option then. I went to a showcase with my parents last week so they could see our venue and taste the food, and this was an issue. I am always vegetarian so it didn't even cross my mind! More people than you think may need the vegetarian option. Many people who are raised catholic but are not actively practicing hold onto the lent tradition of abstaining from meat on Fridays.

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No that's not true. We do not eat chicken during lent on Fridays. Chicken is meat.

Interesting... In Mexico, it is acceptable for Catholics (including myself) to eat fish and chicken. Only res meat is not allowed and pork is considered red meat.