Abbi
Super March 2018

Oops getting married during lent

Abbi, on March 2, 2018 at 4:49 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 46
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So one of our guests reached out to me and asked what were serving for dinner. I said chicken and beef. They told me well were all Catholic and your getting married on a Friday and we can't eat meat. My FH family is all Catholic no one said a word till now and FH and I didn't even realize. I don't know what to do now we're 13 days away and I can't change menus now. Is any Catholic can you shed light on how to get this handled?

46 Comments

Latest activity by MelisM, on March 6, 2018 at 8:50 AM
  • S
    Devoted January 2019
    S ·
    • Flag

    Can you tell the venue that you hadn't realized that some guests will require a vegetarian option, and request some guests receive something vegetarian? I am not Catholic, but I assume vegetarian would work for them.

    • Reply
  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
    • Flag
    Have you tried calling your caterer? It's a long shot but they may be able to change to a fish option instead of chicken. I would assume not all of your guests are catholic so it would still be good to have one non-fish option.


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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    • Flag

    I think this is worth a call to the venue/caterer and not assuming that all is set in stone. I doubt they have ordered the food. Yes, they can eat the vegetarian option, but lets remember that these people do like to have meat (fish) and are not used to a vegetarian diet. Call now and see what they can do. Did you not have guests select entrees? is it a buffet? What are the sides?

    • Reply
  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
    • Flag
    I would try to add a meatless pasta option. Hopefully they’ll be understanding of the situation.
    • Reply
  • Abbi
    Super March 2018
    Abbi ·
    • Flag
    We're doing plated family style. Chicken beef mash potatoes veggies n pasta with itailn sausage. I'm worried about cost change n my family not eating fish n how do I determine what guest gets what.
    • Reply
  • EM
    Master April 2017
    EM ·
    • Flag

    Definitely try calling the venue and explaining the situation. It may not be a problem for them to offer a suitable alternative.

    ETA saw your comment above. I imagine it would be easy enough for them to make a few servings of the pasta, just without sausage. I would call them ASAP to see if you can figure something out. They have to have a method of handling certain dishes differently (for people with allergies or whatever).

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  • Michelle
    Expert February 2018
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    I got married last Friday (during Lent) and I served chicken because even though we're not supposed to eat meat, white meat like chicken is acceptable. Red meat is out of the question but some Catholics eat white meat. I also did a vegetarian option for some of the Catholics (like me) that really don't eat any kind of meat on Fridays.
    • Reply
  • kbrands
    Super December 2018
    kbrands ·
    • Flag

    Can you provide a vegetarian option?

    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner May 2018
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I think that you may be able to get dispensation from your priest that allows them to eat meat. It depends on how the priest feels about it and how the Catholics feel about it.
    • Reply
  • Powers2
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
    • Flag

    See if you can change one of the options to a fish.


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  • S
    Devoted January 2019
    S ·
    • Flag

    Can you replace the "pasta with Italian sausage" with some sort of vegetarian pasta?

    • Reply
  • Leelee
    VIP September 2018
    Leelee ·
    • Flag
    I would tell them that Jesus will forgive them just this once. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect you to provide a Lent-friendly meal. Perhaps an unpopular opinion but that’s where I fall on the issue.
    • Reply
  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
    • Flag
    I would ask them to leave the sausage out of the pasta and you’ll be fine
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    Yeah just make the pasta not have meat in it...
    im kind of surprised that it does anyway, was there no vegetarian option?

    you could also see if you could get a dispensation. How people handle this is personal. Some will be okay with the excuse to eat meat like “oh guess I HAVE to” are secretly happy about it.
    but you should have a vegetarian option anyway. Changing the pasta type should be super easy
    • Reply
  • FirstTimeMOB
    October 2018
    FirstTimeMOB ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    With all due respect, 'white meat like chicken' is not acceptable if you are a Catholic who is abstaining from meat. Meat is meat, red or white. Catholics who choose to eat 'white meat' are not abstaining as the Church prescribes.


    That being said, the Church has become somewhat more flexible at times. As another poster mentioned, a priest can indeed give a special dispensation (though it usually is with permission from the Bishop who oversees the Diocese). We have had the dispensation when St. Patrick's Day falls on a Friday, and are given permission to eat ONLY corned beef (it's not a license to go out and eat a steak) as that is a traditional St. Patrick's day meal.


    I also recall one other time we received a dispensation to eat meat, and that was for a repast after a funeral.


    I would first check with the caterer to find out if a fish dish or vegetarian option can be provided.

    • Reply
  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
    • Flag

    Most Catholic Churches won't perform weddings during lent, or maybe you're not getting married in the church? Anyway, check with your caterer. Pasta is less expensive than chicken or beef, so maybe they'll let you switch out one of the options. Otherwise it will be on each guest to determine for themselves if they choose to eat the meat or not. Personally I would fill up on sides and skip the meat. Surprised this didn't come up sooner, especially with both sides being Catholic.

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated May 2018
    Kaitlin ·
    • Flag
    I'm strict Catholic and it's actually acceptable to eat meat if you were invited to someone's home or celebration and not eating the food or partaking would be otherwise rude. Also aking if the venue or caterer can accommodate vegetarian or pescatarian diets will work.
    • Reply
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't sweat it too much. These guests had plenty of opportunity to let you know of their dietary restrictions when they mailed their rsvp.

    Ask the caterer if they can accommodate a few fish meals. If no one else spoke up, this guest may be exaggerating the extent of the problem.

    I would also ask the caterer to do the pasta without meat. Those who can eat meat already have an option of beef and chicken.

    No one is going to suffer because they have one meatless meal.

    • Reply
  • J
    Expert May 2018
    J ·
    • Flag
    This might not just apply to the Catholic people, you might also have some guests who are vegetarians who will also not have anything to eat unless you modify the menu (they might not have said anything because they might just be assuming you would have a vegetarian option). So it probably would be good to see if you could have a non-meat option.
    • Reply
  • Abbi
    Super March 2018
    Abbi ·
    • Flag

    We have a vegetarian option but only 1 guest is vegetarian. I could absolutely ask them to extend it for other guest who wont be able to eat meat. me concern is how would I get the word out that it is a option. Invites have been returned for 2 weeks now. Also how does it work if you don't have a seating chart.

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