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Devoted March 2014

one of our best man passed away on sunday - and the wedding is March 29th - etiquette?

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kellie, on February 25, 2014 at 11:13 AM

One of our best men passed away this weekend. He was diagnosed a few months ago and lost a battle to colon cancer. We had hoped he would make it to the wedding and although would be to weak to particpate we had planned to keep him in all programs which he knew about. Now what do we do? his family will be at the wedding and we want to honor him but not make this sad for them as it will be so new. Do we specifically mention him in the program? we are already doing a memorial table at the reception for my mom and my FH's dad, and I will add a picture of the BM to that. But do we specifically mention him in the church program? heartbroken over this. I just had to cancel my bachelorette party to attend the funeral this weekend too.

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30 Comments

VIP May 2014
Katydid · on February 26, 2014 at 3:33 PM
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I'm not a fan of the chair idea, even for honoring relatives who have passed away a long time ago. It seems a bit macabre and might bring people down.
I really like the idea of a mention in the program and/or a photo at the memorial table, if you are doing it.
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Devoted May 2014
FutureMrsT. · on February 26, 2014 at 4:50 PM
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I am so sorry! I think the dedication in the program would be really nice
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Super September 2015
Love113 · on February 26, 2014 at 5:16 PM
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I'd do both! Put him in the program & in the church service. My FH's best friend had a brother pass away & when he got married, one of the bridesmaids walked down alone as if his brother was walking beside her. It was really touching & a very nice/cute way to honor him.
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VIP May 2014
Katie · on February 26, 2014 at 5:21 PM
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I am so sorry this happened! I cannot imagine what you are going through. I agree having a space where he would stand during the ceremony would be a great way to honor him.
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Master March 2014
HRH Mags · on February 26, 2014 at 7:10 PM
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I love what nancy said and might I also suggest if you are having bouts made for the guys make one for his mother to wear in his honor? It sounds you are close to that whole family and I think would mean a lot to her. I'm very sorry for your loss
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Master March 2015
Susan · on February 26, 2014 at 7:47 PM
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I would go with a notation in program and space for him at alter. Even giving his mom or wife a bout would be great. If your doing a memorial table anyway, be sure to include him
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Master October 2011
Ab · on February 26, 2014 at 8:01 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this..it sounds like you made good decisions in how to honor the best man..I am glad you chose not to do the seat..my mom passed away when I was young so even years later I do feel like an empty seat would have been too much..even more so if it was a recent loss.

Prayers for you and your FH for continued strength.
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Super October 2014
Yancie · on February 27, 2014 at 12:33 AM
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Am sorry for your lost. It's so sad. I would definitely add him in the program if it was me. Some of the ladies here have great ideas. Good job everyone.
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Expert February 2015
LuckiestGirl · on February 27, 2014 at 12:36 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss. I think Nancy T's suggestion is GENIUS.
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Master June 2014
DlovesD · on February 27, 2014 at 9:13 AM
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So sorry for your loss. As a bride who lost her dad in the midst of planning my wedding I urge you to be cautious in how you honor him that day. I think mentioning him in the program and maybe having the officiant say something during the ceremony is enough. The empty chair/empty space in the bridal party line up will be devastating for his family to look at.

Edit: just saw you are doing the poems. Good choice.
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