one bridesmaid doesn't want to participate...

Is she mad at you for some reason? Maybe tone down the wedding talk with her?

Also, is she getting hair/makeup/nails done somewhere else? Maybe she has preferred people.

It just sounds like a communication issue, IMO.

She's right, it's not necessary to do all that for the wedding. She doesn't have to do any of that. If she wants to do her own hair and makeup and nails then she can do whatever she wants.. You can't force her to have a beauty day. As far as the Friday/Saturday meals.. maybe she has something else going on. Idk. Did you try talking to her? Or did you just get mad and fight?

Well she's right. None of it is necessary. But.....It honestly doesn't seem like she is your close friend, though, if what you're saying is true.

She is right. However that's just annoying and she doesn't sound like a close friend to me. Why would she just down right refuse all these things that are paid for?

She isn't mad at me and I haven't talked to her about the wedding since I asked her over the summer. She is getting her stuff done elsewhere but idk where. it's just a really weird and awkward scenario...

Really, its not necessary to do for the wedding. Not saying its right... but you can't make someone attend functions just because they are part of the bridal party.

I would ask her if she even wants to be in the wedding. I mean yes it's not necessary but still that's the highlights of being a BM I thought... I have been in a few weddings and I loved that whole process. I agree with Janeen doesn't sound like that close of a friend.

It sounds like there is an underlying issue. Personally, I won't get my nails done ANYWHERE and the brides knew it (and laughed about it). I have a serious phobia; however, I still went with them and hung out. It sounds like there is more going on here.

How do you know she's not mad at you? It could be about something not wedding related. I agree with other ladies saying that it sounds like there is an underlying issue.

No, its not necessary but it should still be fun! Regardless of her financial situation she's not being asked to pay for any of it, so I understand you feeling miffed by her behaviour. Is there something bigger going on that she's not telling you - maybe she had a falling out with another bridesmaid? Something happening personally that she's trying to not bother you with?

Ignoring the hair, making, and nails, the part that sticks out is that she literally doesn't want to participate the day of and the day before.

I agree with @Mrs. Hunnibear.

This is just weird. It does seem like she does not want to be a part of your wedding. I have never heard of anyone refuse to show up for events on the day of or day before. I would sit down and have a talk with her and soon. Something is going on here

Sounds like she's been a BM before (since she's wearing that dress in your wedding). She probably doesn't want to be a BM anymore. Ummm, is she married? Lol

Some girls just dont like all the loudness and chaos that happens pre wedding, maybe thats what it is. she's still in the wedding and hasnt said she wants out of that, so it seems she just wants her space and to get things done on her own....it may be annoying but i wouldnt take it to heart or make a big issue out of it. maybe theres a reason she wants to be seperate and if it makes it easier for her, then let her do it. when i was a bridesmaid in my brothers wedding i didnt do the getting ready stuff with the other girls either...i like my space, i like calm and quiet....maybe thats what shes seeking

I thought the highlights of being a bridesmaid is having close girlfriends getting ready together. she doesn't have to pay for anything. she just wants to do her own thing. but I guarantee when there's pictures of me with the girls and she's not there... she's gonna blow up and turn it around about not being included. hence why I said I have to pick and choose my words if I talk to her bc her personality is she flies off the handlebars quickly. I feel like she doesn't care to be in my wedding. I mean if that's the case she could tell me and I would understand.. I'd be hurt a little but I am understanding.

You said she was recently a BM in another wedding. Was she involved in pre-wedding activities in that one? Or did she just show up the day of?

Does she not like your other BM's? Maybe the idea of spending all that extra time with them sounds like torture to her? Not saying that's okay, but if she needs space from them in order to be there to support you the day of, I guess it's understandable.

She was apart of everything for the other wedding.. this was roughly two years ago.

Good point about the other bridesmaids, Munkos.