Oh the dreaded uninvited children issue :)

We are not having children at our wedding. Ive had one invite come back where they wrote their childs name (My nephew & his wife! ugh). I emailed them right away and explained that we have only 2 seats reserved for them \ and I am so sorry but they can not bring their kid. We have many people coming from along distance and none of them are bringing their kids, it would not be fair to them if they brought theirs, when they have all gone to the expense of arranging childcare. I will be really upset if he brings their kid. It is written on our website this is an adult event. It is not that we don't like children or not want them, it really came down to budget for us. we would have to invite like 25 kids.so we decided no on the kiddos.

We picked which kids and I don't think it's rude at all! Its our nieces and nephews and 1 cousins' kids that is like a brother to my fh.

No other kids are invited or allowed. We didn't have any issues making this decision and so far when we have mentioned it to people no one has said anything negative.

If your invite states "No kids" and they still insist inviting them, then yes, contact them. But when something is addressed to me and my FH, I automatically assume that my kid is involved too. (Not that's I'd take her to a wedding, but I can't speak for other people)

I just put it on my wedding website that no children were allowed but my soon to be nieces and nephew are invited so I just messaged there mom telling her to ignore that little tidbit

I don't think picking and choosing which kids to invite is weird at all. We're only having two kids at our wedding- the best man's little sister who is 12, and FI's cousin's stepdaughter who is 14. We are extending them an invite because 1) they are old enough and mature enough to enjoy an adult party and 2) we actually know them well. It's the nature of things that you will be closer to some people's kids than others, just as you are closer to some people than others. If you had two equally good friends who both had kids, would it be rude not to invite both sets of children? Yes. But if you're talking your BFF's kids that you see frequently and your cousin's kids you've met once in your life, I don't believe people are entitled to get offended by only inviting the kids you know well.

My thing is, it is your wedding and should be the way you imagine. Yes feelings may get hurt but it's not about them (always) this will be your one day, make it how you want

OP, You've received a lot of good advice her. People should NEVER assume their kids are included unless the invite states "and family" that's tacky and rude. You addressed your invites correctly, you did the proper etiquette, they're in the bad. So when you call them make it sound like a big misunderstanding (ie take the blame) I found that helped calm a lot of my hot headed family when they found out no kids (they're all pissy and my invites wont go out for another 4 months!)

Bottom line, whatever you do be firm, be kind, be consistent. you'll get your point across.

It is NOT rude to pick and choose children! You don't have to invite all your neighbors, all your church family, all your cousin, or ALL the kids. They are no different than any other class of guests. The problem is entitled parents and for some reason we cater to this.

Invite the kids you want and not the others. Let your guests know the invitation was for them and their spouse/whatever but you can't accomodate the kids. And don't give reasons why.

@Ragan I think this is best done with a phone call! Things can be taken the wrong way over text or fb

@Shelby you shouldn't just assume your child is invited to things. Many events are not appropriate for children.

Agree with Annakay511 - never assume your kids are invited to something when they are not listed on the invitation! Proper etiquette is to list who IS invited so that there is no confusion.

@Annakay511: I have the common sense to know when not to bring my kid to certain events, based on who is doing the inviting. I don't tend to get invited to things by people I'm not close enough to to know whether or not they would be okay with my kid coming to something. The problems becomes when people start inviting their co-workers' sisters' BIL they've had brunch with a couple of times. I know my family and friends and they know me.

I get your issue..ours, as guest is totally different. Our 12 yr old family member was invited to a family wedding..,as an exception to the no children wedding…(alcohol being served). Rooms reserved and everything a go until last night I’m told that the bride reversed her decision and since she’s told others they can’t bring their children she now cannot allow the 12 (very mature for her age) as an exception…the 12 year old doesn’t know but was looking forward to her first “formal” function. Also because everyone is going, we don’t have babysitter options. Now what?!