Oh the dreaded uninvited children issue :)

You got to add top shelf liquor for just $16pp? That's an incredible deal. Prices I've been looking at start at $25pp for well liquor.

You definitely should have put how many seats were reserved for them on the rsvp. Now I would say that you should call and let them know that unfortunately you can't accommodate the kids hopefully they will understand

If you can't accommodate them just call and tell them that your venue only allows X amount of people so you will not be able to accommodate their kids.

Thanks to everyone who is commenting - it is very helpful. I may end up calling these cousins after all. It really does add up when you consider their food, table linens and centerpieces, all of that extra stuff to accommodate someone.

We are having a Friday evening wedding with open bar so it confuses me why people would even WANT to bring their kids to that...

Honestly, I would call them and merely state you apologize for any inconvenience, however children are not invited to your wedding due to limited space.

It's not a matter of cost; it's a matter of desire. If you wanted the kids there, you would have invited them.

You call them, you tell them, and you don't look back. THEY are the rude ones, not you.

Kids are not all or nothing, that's ridiculous. You are obviously going to be closer to some children than others and inviting only those that you are close to is perfectly fine (and within etiquette). Parents need to realize that their kids are not invited to everything. It is best to keep it consistent though as Rebecca said to avoid hurt feelings.

I would contact them. They are the rude ones for adding people to the RSVP who weren't invited.

I think it's okay for you to call them and let them know in advance that you can't accommodate all their kids... At the end of the day it's your live's saving you're spending. I wish you all the best

I only invited the children of the immediate family which was very few. The rest I didn't include kids on the invites. I did have a few return with additions on the invites and politely responded letting them know at this time we couldn't accommodate additional guests since we were at our max. Some brought kids even after that, they didn't seats and had to figure it out, and it wasn't my issue I gave them warning.

The "immediate family kids only" is a good way to do it actually. That may be my reasoning when I make my calls. *dreading it*

As pretty much most people have said, give them a call and let them know you wouldn't be able to include the kids. I completely disagree that it's all kids or none and you don't have to justify why some kids (bridal party or immediate family) are there. They were rude in adding the kids.

Thanks! I feel better about this and better about telling people no. It IS our savings after all and puts off house buying for another year for us because of the costs of our wedding.

My aunt's kids are definitely invited as those are my first cousins and I am close to them. It's the second cousins I'm more worried about. So far I have five kids added by second cousins and three from a first cousin. Still waiting on most RSVPs so it has me concerned.

Do not allow exceptions. If you allow uninvited children for some guests, the guests who understood their children weren't invited are going to be pissed. They are going to think you purposely did not invite their kids for some reason (you don't like them, they're not well behaved, etc.) and be irritated they took the time and spent the money for babysitters (not cheap) when others were allowed to bring their kids. You need to call the people who RSVP'd their kids and kindly but firmly tell them they can't bring their kids: "Aunt Susy, we were so excited to get your RSVP for the wedding! Unfortunately, I'm sorry if there was a miscommunication, but we can only accommodate you and Uncle Joe, not the kids. We hope you are still able to come!"

@Ragan it is not against etiquette to invite some kids and not all. It's no different than inviting some cousins and not all or some friends and not all. Children are individuals, just like everyone else. You can pick and choose just as you would any guest. Now granted, parents who think their child is a special snowflake who MUST be invited may have their feelings hurt, but it's not against etiquette.

I guess I should expect a few hurt feelings but oh well. I can't see paying another $2K just so everyone can bring their children under 18. I'll be contacting the cousins next week! Is over the phone preferred or can I do this through Facebook?

We decided that all the children in our families, 8 kids under ten, three of them in the bridal party, are invited,but we did not invite any of our friends kids. Our families were a priority on our list and although we want all our friends there we couldn't add the kids as well just to assure our friends attendance. I think this was acceptable.but I don't think you should be saying oh yes uncle Bob you can bring your kids but no uncle Joe you cant...also, if their invite didn't say the kids also then they should respect that and not assume you were inviting them.

We put adult reception to follow on the invitions for that reason and the only kids who I want there are in the wedding. As much as I hate doing it, I would be calling the family who added all the kids. My venue is charging us about $50 a plate so hoping to avoid univitied guests.

Arghhhh....this has been a HUGE struggle for us! We're having a no kids reception except for WP kids, their siblings, and first cousins (a total of 5 kids). FH and I have lot of friends with young kids, and we have a lot extended family - tons of first cousins. And the majority of those first cousins also have kids - and not just one or two. Some have four, five, and six kids. Normally, if money was no object, we'd invite them all. If we included everyone's kids, there'd be as many as 50. We had a couple of relatives assume kids were invited, and we politely told them, unfortunately, they aren't. They were really cool about it and worked things out. Today was the first time someone asked if they could bring their kid. I was so tempted to say Yes, but I have a 20-year old nephew we didn't even invite, because technically, he isn't a first cousin. If I included him, it would've opened the door to many other nieces and nephews from the same family. In the end, I told them, No. It's SO hard, and it's SO awkward. In times like this, I often wish we were having the teeny tiny wedding FH and I originally wanted - before the parents got involved, lol.

Oh, as far as the RSVPs, we totally did the "X seats are reserved in your honor". Fortunately, no one has scratched out those numbers and added extra people. Although I've heard of that happening!

It's your wedding your decision I wouldn't feel bad about giving them a call and letting them know the invites were for the adult family members only. If I had everyone bring their children to the wedding it would get outrageous. I would just say unfortunately the invite was only for you and your wife/husband I hope you are still able to attend if the children cannot come, thank you for your rsvp