J
Savvy April 2017

Officiant gift

Jessica, on March 17, 2017 at 9:14 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 62
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I'm having the secretary at my school where I work officiate my wedding. She says that she will do it for no charge. Of course we are going to get her a gift card or something?. How much should I spend?

62 Comments

  • Rachel
    Super May 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    My officiant is $500 so I would say like $100.

    • Reply
  • CuteNickname
    Super July 2017
    CuteNickname ·
    • Flag

    Give her nothing, hire a professional and get them under contract.

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  • Celia Milton
    November 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    And you chose the secretary at your school to officiate why?

    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy April 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    She is a friend of mine and has done 2 other teacher's? weddings as well.

    • Reply
  • MrsMitch
    Master August 2017
    MrsMitch ·
    • Flag

    Rude

    • Reply
  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
    • Flag

    Who/what is rude, @Erica?

    • Reply
  • MrsNerd
    Master October 2016
    MrsNerd ·
    • Flag

    Who's rude, @Erica? The experienced people giving helpful and intelligent advice, or the girl who's using a friendor?

    • Reply
  • Teri
    VIP May 2017
    Teri ·
    • Flag

    I think $100 would be good.

    • Reply
  • T-Rex
    Master August 2013
    T-Rex ·
    • Flag

    My officiant was also a teacher - but she and her husband went through the process and became ordained and then ran a wedding business on the side/weekends. She was also a dear friend who didn't charge (she really wanted to do it since she was there when he proposed) and refused payment. So we gave her a $100 gift card to a restaurant for a date night with her husband.

    • Reply
  • CoBoundAdv
    Expert October 2017
    CoBoundAdv ·
    • Flag

    As far as a tip, I would agree about 100

    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy April 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    @Celia Why are you being so rude? She did give us a script and we can change it however we like.

    Thanks for all the kind replies!

    • Reply
  • Gracie Lou Freebush
    VIP October 2017
    Gracie Lou Freebush ·
    • Flag

    Wow.

    • Reply
  • Gracie Lou Freebush
    VIP October 2017
    Gracie Lou Freebush ·
    • Flag

    @jessica b that sounds like a reasonable amount to me too. I'm of the UO that the officiant can be someone known to the couple or even a friend. I personally would not want a stranger marrying my FH and I. It means a lot that the pastor doing our ceremony knows us and cares about us. Should you be extra cautious about who you pick and consider their experience, character, etc? Well yeah. But I'm not going to leave a shitty worded comment to you ASSUMING that you did none of the above.

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  • RosieOutlook
    Expert October 2017
    RosieOutlook ·
    • Flag

    I would rather take advice from Celia who officiates weddings as her PROFESSION but sure, go ahead and call her rude instead of heeding her advice to hire someone legitimate.

    Kids these days, smh.

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  • Celia Milton
    November 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I'm not being rude, I'm being realistic.

    @Kay, you have a great situation; you have a pastor who knows you which is terrific. Ideally that pastor is good at doing weddings. But just choosing a friend because they're a friend?

    That's like choosing a friend to do your root canal or replace your brakes.

    • Reply
  • J
    Savvy April 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    Thank you Courtnie!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    November 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Hilarious. And flagged.

    • Reply
  • E
    Just Said Yes September 2017
    Evelyn ·
    • Flag

    I think you should whatever you way to do. I've learned that this whole process can have everyone that don't need to be involved, involved. I think it's super cool to have your friend/secretary of school do it, plus she's done it already. You can give her your script etc..and $100 is a nice gift. Wish you the best!

    • Reply
  • Jen
    Devoted July 2017
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    I think $100 is a good amount. My mom is an ordained minister and is doing my wedding. My fiancé also got ordained and did his twin bother wedding. There is nothing wrong with having a friend do it as long as it's what you want.

    Don't listen to @celia. As people keep telling me it's your day!! Do what you feel is best.

    I also work at a wedding venue and the bride and grooms are always doing different things these days.

    Good luck and congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    November 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    The people who are telling you it's your day are wrong.

    • Reply

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