Office bridal shower for someone but not for me.

Kelly, that really sucks. I would feel bad as well. Personally, I would probably make a little remark to the person collecting donations asking if this is going to be a joint shower for you and the other girl. If she says no, then at least you have her thinking. Maybe throw yourself a shower at work. Have flowers delivered and a cake for yourself. If anyone asks what the cake and flowers are for, you can just tell them that it's your "work bridal shower" for yourself. Perhaps it's a little vindictive, or mean, but there is no reason you should be left out. Congrats on marrying the love of your life!

Kelly, I think that would leave a pretty bad taste in my mouth too. Do what you feel is right for you. If that means abstaining from getting involved with her shower - either by not contributing or not attending, then that is what you should do. Congratulations on your marriage!!

It sucks that nobody took the reigns and planned one for you. Sometimes people have good intentions and then have a royal fail. Or sometimes they're just boneheads and forget.

While you can't throw yourself a shower there's no law that says you have to participate in hers. Maybe just find out when it's going to be and schedule a personal day or make yourself scarce so you don't have to deal with the politics of why you're not attending.

I can kinda relate - I worked at the same office for 8 years and I can't even tell you how much time and money I spent on other people's parties, I can't even remember some of their names. Of course, 5 months after WE got engaged, we moved across the country for H's job and our wedding date was so far off nobody had asked about a work shower yet, so I missed my chance for payback! Humph.

It happens =( my place of employment has "milestones" parties celebrating big events in employee lives. However, when I got engaged, I was told that the party was already planned for that time and the next party would include me...that one has come and gone and didn't include me. Since my relationship was frowned upon, I'm sure it will never include me. (he used to work there)

I have also seen going away/retirement parties thrown for those that were employeed for 1-2 years and we recently had a woman that had worked there for well over ten years leave and they didn't do a damn thing for her.

Unfortunate;y, this is how some people work and they see nothing wrong with it. I agree with Kris, you are not obligated to attend or participate in any way. Take the day for yourself if that's possible! If it is planned for after hours, make other plans =)

Congrats on your wedding!

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It sucks, but also shows a lot of character to not let it bother you and donate to their gift. But you are also not obligated.

It's always been that way at the place I work at. No one remembers your birthday, but oh god, one person they celebrate every year! A guy on my team got a collection for his wedding a couple weeks ago, but I know no one will do that for me. Sucks, but I'm used to it.

I guess you don't expect people to be that.. I don't know, stupid? But it happens. Hard to explain why people do it that way.

Thanks girls. i feel better now.

I don't see it as a big deal because maybe this co-worker is just closer to this other co-worker...Donate what you would for a regular birthday. I wouldn't miss work just because someone else is getting a shower...Show up with a small token gift, like a recipe box or something. Life isn't an even 50/50 split, sometimes you give, sometimes you get!